"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[EG]

Everyone get off the ledge.  Leave BC on his own out there.  The Cubs will be fine.  Tonight they face some turd named Phil Dumatrait, who is letting people hit .395 off him this year.  And we've got Ted Lilly going.  He's going to murder the Reds.  8-1 Cubs win.

Of course, you meant literally, correct?

Of course.

[Taylor]

Everyone get off the ledge.  Leave BC on his own out there.  The Cubs will be fine.  Tonight they face some turd named Phil Dumatrait, who is letting people hit .395 off him this year.  And we've got Ted Lilly going.  He's going to murder the Reds.  8-1 Cubs win.

Cubs will go 5-1 the rest of this homestand.

Book it, ogdens.

So the Cubs are going to win their next 5 games?

[Kwyjibo]

Everyone get off the ledge.  Leave BC on his own out there.  The Cubs will be fine.  Tonight they face some turd named Phil Dumatrait, who is letting people hit .395 off him this year.  And we've got Ted Lilly going.  He's going to murder the Reds.  8-1 Cubs win.

Cubs will go 5-1 the rest of this homestand.

Book it, ogdens.

So the Cubs are going to win their next 5 games?

Natch.

[Slaky+]

The Brewers are garbage.

[D. Doluntap]

Poor Mr. Belvedere's boss.

[Taylor]

It's time to add another number patch on the Tards' uniform.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=Akq0H5y8cMUWaDCmZO3xF.sp0bYF?slug=ap-cardinals-encarnacion&prov=ap&type=lgns

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Juan Encarnacion will miss the remainder of the season and his career is in jeopardy after sustaining multiple fractures of his left eye socket when struck by a foul ball Friday night.

It was the latest blow in a star-crossed season for the defending World Series champions, who somehow were 2 1/2 games out of first place in the NL Central entering Saturday night's game.

"This is a serious hit, career-threatening," manager Tony La Russa said Saturday. "The other ones are not to be diminished, like Carpenter's arm, but they're not in the same category. It's like Josh."

So Encarnacion was in the on deck circle drunk off his ass chatting up some chick on his cell phone when it happened?

[Internet Apex]

[Down In Front]

To borrow from your lexicon, Mister Peck, I'd like to say...

Hte Ablls.

Also, Fuck Boston.

[CT II]

Bump.

All three "contending" teams lose again tonight.  I feel no anxiety about this divisional race.  It's fucking hilarious that none of these teams can get out of their own way.

[The Paul Popovich Experience]

Bump.

All three "contending" teams lose again tonight.  I feel no anxiety about this divisional race.  It's fucking hilarious that none of these teams can get out of their own way.

I'm proud to note that I predicted a month ago the Cubs would back into this thing and win the Central.....with a .500 record. Prescient, I am, or something.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Bump.

All three "contending" teams lose again tonight.  I feel no anxiety about this divisional race.  It's fucking hilarious that none of these teams can get out of their own way.

I'm proud to note that I predicted a month ago the Cubs would back into this thing and win the Central.....with a .500 record. Prescient, I am, or something.

We're still a long way from finishing 2 over... or 5 under.

You'd be prescient if the season ended today--but it doesn't.  Bust out the Barry Horowitz pat on the back on October 1 if you must.

[Wheezer]

You'd be prescient if the season ended today--but it doesn't.

Wait a second--what's your field of study?

Reprise:

Vor mir war keine Zeit, nach mir wird keine seyn,
Mit mir gebiert sie sich, mit mir geht sie auch ein.

[The Paul Popovich Experience]

Bump.

All three "contending" teams lose again tonight.  I feel no anxiety about this divisional race.  It's fucking hilarious that none of these teams can get out of their own way.

I'm proud to note that I predicted a month ago the Cubs would back into this thing and win the Central.....with a .500 record. Prescient, I am, or something.

We're still a long way from finishing 2 over... or 5 under.

You'd be prescient if the season ended today--but it doesn't.  Bust out the Barry Horowitz pat on the back on October 1 if you must.

Tomorrow (today, Saturday, whatever) is the season, IMO. Zambrano is behind the 8-ball. Does he step up, break out of his funk, put the team on his big back and break out the whipping stick? A winning team and a dominant ace would do just that against a sad-sack team like Pissburg. Or, does Z crawl back into his ugly alter ego and poop all over the rest of the season? Big big game.

[Down In Front]

I'm taking credit for coining "Carlos' Last Stand" overat the HJE Shoutbox.

The season's tonight.  If Big Z shits the bed again, they'll pack it in, as they really have no chance.  If he pitches like his fat ass is supposed to, then there's hope and they'll stay in until the end.

?I'll probably watch NIU-SIU instead and spare myself that fat fuck's drama queen hysteria.

[EG]

I'm taking credit for coining "Carlos' Last Stand" overat the HJE Shoutbox.

The season's tonight.  If Big Z shits the bed again, they'll pack it in, as they really have no chance.  If he pitches like his fat ass is supposed to, then there's hope and they'll stay in until the end.

?I'll probably watch NIU-SIU instead and spare myself that fat fuck's drama queen hysteria.

Z's tossing eight innings of 1-run baseball tonight.