"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Kwyjibo]

Well, truth be told, most Chicagoans are insufferable pricks. That might not go over so well in parts north or south. You get used to assbaggery when you're surrounded by it, but when its trampling all over your garden, you tend to feel a bit less welcoming of it..

Spend some time in the 212/718/917 area codes, and you'll think Chicago is one big fucking shirtless hug.

Heh heh heh... I'm just funnin' youse guys and waiting for a heated rejoinder from Huey explaining why the concepts of customer service, defensive driving and saying "hello" and "excuse me" to complete strangers are teh fucken ghey.

I always say "excuse me" as I shoulder past a bunch of fat Iowans who are walking 4 across on the sidewalk while they gape at the big buildings.  Because, I know it's a hell of a city, those buildings are outstanding works of architecture, and they should be gaped at.

But, I will never say "excuse me" to the idiots who stop in the middle of the Michigan Avenue bridge at lunchtime and expect you to wait while they take a picture.  Fuck that noise.

Back east, the tourists with the Hard Rock Cafe shirts and Ground Zero hats, the closest we got to "excuse me" was "outta my way, cocksucker."

[Corn-fed]

Milwaukee hasn't been cool since "Wayne's World".

It's pronounced "Meel-e-wah-que," which is Algonquin for "the good land."

[Al Yellon]

Milwaukee hasn't been cool since "Wayne's World".

I liked Milwaukee's early work before it got all famous. Now it's too mainstream for my taste. These guys from outside of Portland, OR sound a lot like Milwaukee, but they're still flying under the radar so I can like them for a couple more years before they blow up and then I'll have to say that they suck too.

[Slaky+]

Milwaukee hasn't been cool since "Wayne's World".

I liked Milwaukee's early work before it got all famous. Now it's too mainstream for my taste. These guys from outside of Portland, OR sound a lot like Milwaukee, but they're still flying under the radar so I can like them for a couple more years before they blow up and then I'll have to say that they suck too.

Pitchfork gave Milwaukee a 4.7

[Al Yellon]

Milwaukee hasn't been cool since "Wayne's World".

I liked Milwaukee's early work before it got all famous. Now it's too mainstream for my taste. These guys from outside of Portland, OR sound a lot like Milwaukee, but they're still flying under the radar so I can like them for a couple more years before they blow up and then I'll have to say that they suck too.

Pitchfork gave Milwaukee a 4.7

That's pretty generous compared to what they gave Chicago.

[The Paul Popovich Experience]

Bump. I <3 Turnblow. Cubs MVP.

[Kwyjibo]

Bump. I <3 Turnblow. Cubs MVP.

Holy shit, that guy is the opposite of good.

[Taylor]

Bump. I <3 Turnblow. Cubs MVP.

Holy shit, that guy is the opposite of good.

He's not good. He's great. He's a magician out there. He turns leads into deficits with the greatest of ease. Thank you again Turd Throw. Keep up the good work.

[JS]

The enitre Brewers bullpen is really quite magical. You not only have the daily performances by Turd Throw, but also command performances every so often by Brian Shouse and Francisco Cordero.

[Old Style Man]

Bump. I <3 Turnblow. Cubs MVP.

Holy shit, that guy is the opposite of good.

He's not good. He's great. He's a magician out there. He turns leads into deficits with the greatest of ease. Thank you again Turd Throw. Keep up the good work.

And he's quite the handsome man.

[Indolent Reader]

That pitch that hit the backstop and then rolled back before Pooholes could Rascal home was Vaughnesque. 

Last night was the perfect chance for Illinois's Playground to make it interesting. 

[Andy]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

[Corn-fed]

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

You should probably note that this depends on the Brewers losing at least 2 of 4 to the Fathers. Which is reasonable, mind you.

[DPappy]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

[CT II]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

And yet Yost keeps marching him out there.  This must have been what it was like for Astros when Baker was managing the team in 2004.