"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Taylor]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

MVP! MVP! MVP!

[Corn-fed]

While Turnbow has been truly extraordinary, Ned Yost is making a strong late showing himself for Cubs MVP, as unorthodox a choice as it may be.

And he is, after all, the bringer of beer Turnbow.

[TJ]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

And yet Yost keeps marching him out there.  This must have been what it was like for Astros when Baker was managing the team in 2004.

Hey not even the Farns was that bad.

[Corn-fed]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

And yet Yost keeps marching him out there.  This must have been what it was like for Astros when Baker was managing the team in 2004.

Hey not even the Farns was that bad.

What of LaTrojan?

[Mike Douche]

Hey not even the Farns was that bad.

He was pretty bad, TJ.  Maybe not in the final 3 weeks, but he had some horribly godawful, Turnbowish stretches throughout the season.

[CubFaninHydePark]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

And yet Yost keeps marching him out there.  This must have been what it was like for Astros when Baker was managing the team in 2004.

Hey not even the Farns was that bad.

What of LaTrojan?

He was a black hole, which nothing resembling 'good' could escape.  There isn't a Cub in the last 10 years that I hate more than him.  Even the shortstop whose name I can't bring myself to speak.  He might be the Cub that I hate more than any other when I die.

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

He was a black hole, which nothing resembling 'good' could escape.  There isn't a Cub in the last 10 years that I hate more than him.  Even the shortstop whose name I can't bring myself to speak.  He might be the Cub that I hate more than any other when I die.

Jimmy Cooney?  Leonard Merullo?  Rey Sanchez?

[Kwyjibo]

I couldn't believe Ned brought in McLung to hit Pujols.  He had McLung and Turdthrow both warming up at the same time.  You knew what he was going to do.  Somebody on baseball primer pointed out that as bad as Turdthrow has been he's tragically terrible when entering a game with runners on (something like 6.23 ERA for the entire season...even with his "good" start to the season included).  So you guarantee that Pujols will be on first when that mouthbreathin' dope comes in.  Ned might as well have pulled the stock on the floodgates on his way to the clubhouse after that move.

Now it's down to this.  If the Cubs lose the rest of their games they'll probably have to play a one-gamer at Wrigley.  If they win one, they'll win the division.

Not exactly the most graceful way to win it, but who gives a shit?

The Brewers recap says that in Turdthrow's August/September outings, he's allowed 12 of 14 inherited runners to score.  Wow.

And yet Yost keeps marching him out there.  This must have been what it was like for Astros when Baker was managing the team in 2004.

Hey not even the Farns was that bad.

What of LaTrojan?

He was a black hole, which nothing resembling 'good' could escape.  There isn't a Cub in the last 10 years that I hate more than him.  Even the shortstop whose name I can't bring myself to speak.  He might be the Cub that I hate more than any other when I die.

You make this too easy.

[Andy]

Ned has been tossed in three of the last four Brewers' games.  Some Brewers fans are seriously wondering if he's so overwhelmed by the pennant race that he's trying to get tossed so he won't be around for the end of the games.

That's laughable of course, but how sad is it when your fans seriously entertain that idea.  Even if they are Brewers' fans.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Ned has been tossed in three of the last four Brewers' games.  Some Brewers fans are seriously wondering if he's so overwhelmed by the pennant race that he's trying to get tossed so he won't be around for the end of the games.

That's laughable of course, but how sad is it when your fans seriously entertain that idea.  Even if they are Brewers' fans.

But he looks like such a nice boy when he's sitting there in the dugout trying the figure out the most opportune time to bring Turd Throw in.

In Yost's defense he managed to not double-switch Ryan Braun out of the game last night...

[Indolent Reader]

Ned is just so bad it makes my head hurt.  It bet there's no bigger Packer fan on the planet than him. 

[Taylor]

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/sports/stories.nsf/cardinals/story/0C185C21C38BD56D862573D80013EEEB?OpenDocument

The Cardinals first baseman and a Most Valuable Player award winner was calm, pointed and clearly irritated as he spoke publicly Monday for the first time about an erroneous news report in December that linked him to an investigation on the use of performance-enhancing drugs in professional baseball.

"I know we're in a dark cloud of steroids, (but) now people are going to second-guess my numbers because of some guy starting something that wasn't the truth," Pujols said. "I know I will forgive whoever did it. I forgive them. But there is nothing they can do to clean this up.

"They ruined my image."

He hopes the elbow will improve as much, too, but added he doesn't plan to play through that level of pain again.

"I was in pain. I was in pain," said Pujols, who led the team with 32 home runs, in 158 games. "After May, I just felt it was hurting and it was hurting pretty bad. … If that same problem is happening this year, I don't think I'm going to play the whole year the same way. I sacrificed my body. That's how I put it.

"I'm telling myself that I ain't going through the same pain that I went through last year."

Pujols was especially irked by a local news station that spun WNBC's report into the focus of an hour newscast. Before talking with the local media Monday, Pujols asked the Cardinals' media relations staff to have the station, KTVI (Channel 2), leave the room. The station removed its camera, and Pujols explained that "they're going to have to pay for that."

For someone near retirement age he sure cries like a baby.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Well, steroid usage WILL make you cranky.

[Taylor]

Jason Bay is very optimistic about the Pirates this year.

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-080203-rogers-baseball-cubs-pitching,1,5830553.column

Pirates outfielder Jason Bay isn't exactly counting the days until he gets to camp in Bradenton, Fla. That's because rookie GM Neal Huntington made only minimal adjustments to the roster that produced a 68-94 record last season.

"It's pretty obvious that this group of guys is not going to get it done," Bay said. "Some people think if we get to .500, that would be great, and that would be a nice pat on the back. I'm not saying we're terrible, but it's going to take a lot of things going right to do some things."

Don't be surprised if Bay winds up elsewhere before the season is over. He's right on with his analysis, but the front office would prefer something it could use in an advertising campaign. And does "I'm not saying we're terrible" have a ring to it?

[Three times a JD]

Jason Bay is very optimistic about the Pirates this year.

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/cs-080203-rogers-baseball-cubs-pitching,1,5830553.column

Pirates outfielder Jason Bay isn't exactly counting the days until he gets to camp in Bradenton, Fla. That's because rookie GM Neal Huntington made only minimal adjustments to the roster that produced a 68-94 record last season.

"It's pretty obvious that this group of guys is not going to get it done," Bay said. "Some people think if we get to .500, that would be great, and that would be a nice pat on the back. I'm not saying we're terrible, but it's going to take a lot of things going right to do some things."

Don't be surprised if Bay winds up elsewhere before the season is over. He's right on with his analysis, but the front office would prefer something it could use in an advertising campaign. And does "I'm not saying we're terrible" have a ring to it?

Dude's a Canadian.  'Nough said.