"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Kwyjibo]

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=720531

Try this: Prince Fielder is a vegetarian.

That 6-foot, 260-pound build is powered by wheatgrass, soy and tofu nowadays. No meat. Not even fish.

The price of meat and fish ought to drop dramatically.

Did someone explain to him that bacon isn't a vegetable?

[Waco Kid]

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=720531

Try this: Prince Fielder is a vegetarian.

That 6-foot, 260-pound build is powered by wheatgrass, soy and tofu nowadays. No meat. Not even fish.

The price of meat and fish ought to drop dramatically.

It's Wisconsin.

Someone'll pick up the slack.

Well, if not someone in Wisconsin then certainly the GM of the Chicago National League Ballclub can help out here.

[Taylor]

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/sports/stories.nsf/cardinals/story/38E0D55F13C08EF8862573FA0017B7B6?OpenDocument

The possibility of free agent home run king Barry Bonds hitting behind Albert Pujols in the Cardinals' batting order remained intriguing enough this winter for manager Tony La Russa to take the idea to general manager John Mozeliak and team owners a second consecutive year, La Russa confirmed Sunday.

nd for a second straight winter, the idea died in committee.

"When you look at somebody dangerous to hit behind Albert, Barry was the guy I thought of," La Russa acknowledged before Sunday's workout. "For whatever reason, at the general manager or the ownership level, they didn't agree."

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards. They should listen to Tony. He's a genius after all. Tony knows that he needs a certain number of juiced up players for a successful team.

[Kwyjibo]

Barroid, Ankiel & Albie on one team? The demand for HGH and juice would finally outweigh the supply.

[Corn-fed]

Barroid, Ankiel & Albie on one team? The demand for HGH and juice would finally outweigh the supply.

Don't forget Juan "Not My Bag, Homes" González.

[Kwyjibo]

Barroid, Ankiel & Albie on one team? The demand for HGH and juice would finally outweigh the supply.

Don't forget Juan "Not My Bag, Homes" González.

Nah, he's clean. He said so himself.

[RedBeard]

Barroid, Ankiel & Albie on one team? The demand for HGH and juice would finally outweigh the supply.

That would give the rest of the team the ability to start freebasing meth.

[EG]

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards.

Really?  Because I was sort of thinking it'd be bad for the Cubs if the Cardinals added a 1.045 OPS to their lineup.

[RedBeard]

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards.

Really?  Because I was sort of thinking it'd be bad for the Cubs if the Cardinals added a 1.045 OPS who gives a damn about numbers? to their lineup.

Dusty Baker'd

[thehawk]

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards.

Really?  Because I was sort of thinking it'd be bad for the Cubs if the Cardinals added a 1.045 OPS to their lineup.

Should that number be significant to me?  Good to see TLR becomming the Jerry Tarkanian of MLB.

[Dave B]

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards.

Really?  Because I was sort of thinking it'd be bad for the Cubs if the Cardinals added a 1.045 OPS to their lineup.

Yeah, because ignoring the intangibles of being a statue in LF, being a complete dickwad, and facing Fed charges all for the sake of your favorite stat is a good way to build a baseball team

[Taylor]

I'd love to see Barriod playing left for the Cards.

Really?  Because I was sort of thinking it'd be bad for the Cubs if the Cardinals added a 1.045 OPS to their lineup.

Yeah, because ignoring the intangibles of being a statue in LF, being a complete dickwad, and facing Fed charges all for the sake of your favorite stat is a good way to build a baseball team

That's what I was thinking. Anything hit to left would be extra bases as Barriod can barely move any more.

[EG]

Yeah, because ignoring the intangibles of being a statue in LF, being a complete dickwad, and facing Fed charges all for the sake of your favorite stat is a good way to build a baseball team

I've ignored worse things in my relentless, obsessive pursuit of OPS.  I've abandoned family, friends, hygiene, job obligations and utility bills.  Give me more OPS.  Please.  Just give it to me.  It's my favorite stat.

[Internet Apex]

It would help the rest of the world to hate the Tards as much as we do. And they'd still suck. So there's that. They're already terrible in LF with Chris Duncan and his bushel basket flailing around out there. Adding Barroid would technically make the Tards a little better when he's healthy. But his OPS isn't going to do anything but lower and he'll be nothing but an injured sack of douche most of the time he's there.

I'm in favor of all this happening because I guarantee you it would end in legendary ignominy. And that's always fun for the whole family .

[Slaky+]

It would help the rest of the world to hate the Tards as much as we do. And they'd still suck. So there's that. They're already terrible in LF with Chris Duncan and his bushel basket flailing around out there. Adding Barroid would technically make the Tards a little better when he's healthy. But his OPS isn't going to do anything but lower and he'll be nothing but an injured sack of douche most of the time he's there.

I'm in favor of all this happening because I guarantee you it would end in legendary ignominy. And that's always fun for the whole family .

Cardinal Nation wouldn't stand for it. The best fans in baseball and Barry Bonds, together? Oh no sir.