"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[PenFoe]

Troy Glaus waited until now to have shoulder surgery.  Is expected to be out three months. 

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=509858

Darn.

While it's not exactly the same thing, I read where Big Z is getting Lasik surgery on one eye and that may delay his Spring Training debut. What's up with these guys who wait till the last minute to get these operations that could've been done months ago. Seems like football players are always notorious for pulling that to miss training camp.

Is he getting some special kind of LASIK that takes 2 months to recover from?
Just throw on some goggles and you're good to go.

Z with goggles on while he's on the mound just gave me a mental picture that I wish I could reproduce for all you to see.

Are the images in your head also mediocre?

I always assumed you two were the same guy.

No, I'm the one without the NSBB-length signature.

[5laky]

Troy Glaus waited until now to have shoulder surgery.  Is expected to be out three months. 

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=509858

Darn.

While it's not exactly the same thing, I read where Big Z is getting Lasik surgery on one eye and that may delay his Spring Training debut. What's up with these guys who wait till the last minute to get these operations that could've been done months ago. Seems like football players are always notorious for pulling that to miss training camp.

Is he getting some special kind of LASIK that takes 2 months to recover from?
Just throw on some goggles and you're good to go.

Z with goggles on while he's on the mound just gave me a mental picture that I wish I could reproduce for all you to see.

Are the images in your head also mediocre?

I always assumed you two were the same guy.

No, I'm the one without the NSBB-length signature.

I'll never make the mistake again. Are you both from Louisiana? Or did I make that up, too?

[PenFoe]

I'll never make the mistake again. Are you both from Louisiana? Or did I make that up, too?

In fairness to IAN, I won't make any illiterate, racist, backwoods Louisiana comment here and just say, "no."

[5laky]

I'll never make the mistake again. Are you both from Louisiana? Or did I make that up, too?

In fairness to IAN, I won't make any illiterate, racist, backwoods Louisiana comment here and just say, "no."

Consider me learn-ed.

[butthead]

Troy Glaus waited until now to have shoulder surgery.  Is expected to be out three months. 

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=509858

Darn.

While it's not exactly the same thing, I read where Big Z is getting Lasik surgery on one eye and that may delay his Spring Training debut. What's up with these guys who wait till the last minute to get these operations that could've been done months ago. Seems like football players are always notorious for pulling that to miss training camp.

Mrs. butthead told me she heard Z say in an interview that he is getting Lasik because he is too much of a pussy to touch his eye so he can't wear contacts, and won't wear glasses because he doesn't want to "look like a nerd."

[Internet Apex]

Troy Glaus waited until now to have shoulder surgery.  Is expected to be out three months. 

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=509858

Darn.

While it's not exactly the same thing, I read where Big Z is getting Lasik surgery on one eye and that may delay his Spring Training debut. What's up with these guys who wait till the last minute to get these operations that could've been done months ago. Seems like football players are always notorious for pulling that to miss training camp.

Mrs. butthead told me she heard Z say in an interview that he is getting Lasik because he is too much of a pussy to touch his eye so he can't wear contacts, and won't wear glasses because he doesn't want to "look like a nerd."

Those are good reasons. I wonder if this will improve his hitting. Can't hurt, right?

[Philberto]

I really thought his contract would be fatter: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/story/11289835

I would have expected 12-15 million range at least. I think I'd be happy if I were a Milwaukee fan, but then again I would be a Milwaukee fan so it's not really a happy type of thing

[Tonker]

I really thought his contract would be fatter

Heh.

While we're on the subject, though, nobody gets the kind of money you're talking about when it's an arbitration buyout.  Even Santana got four years and less than forty, I think, and that might even have included a year or two of free agency.  I can't immediately think of anybody who's topped $10mm per, in fact - so Fielder's deal (no FA years included) seems just about right.

That fat cunt's creaking body will break down soon enough, anyway, so this is a smart move by the Brewers.  Can you say Mo Vaughn?

[Philberto]

I really thought his contract would be fatter

Heh.

While we're on the subject, though, nobody gets the kind of money you're talking about when it's an arbitration buyout.  Even Santana got four years and less than forty, I think, and that might even have included a year or two of free agency.  I can't immediately think of anybody who's topped $10mm per, in fact - so Fielder's deal (no FA years included) seems just about right.

That fat cunt's creaking body will break down soon enough, anyway, so this is a smart move by the Brewers.  Can you say Mo Vaughn?

I usually stay out of those contract issues because they bore me a little.. But isn't Ryan Howard in arbitration and wanting $18 mil while the Phillies want to give him $14 mil? I might be wrong, but if that's the case, there's one. However, it is this year, so your assessment may very well be correct.

[5laky]

I really thought his contract would be fatter

Heh.

While we're on the subject, though, nobody gets the kind of money you're talking about when it's an arbitration buyout.  Even Santana got four years and less than forty, I think, and that might even have included a year or two of free agency.  I can't immediately think of anybody who's topped $10mm per, in fact - so Fielder's deal (no FA years included) seems just about right.

That fat cunt's creaking body will break down soon enough, anyway, so this is a smart move by the Brewers.  Can you say Mo Vaughn?

The Brewers are now some kind of beer league softball team. Hitting the ball all over the place with pitchers throwing soft toss. Should be fun.

[Kermit, B.]

I really thought his contract would be fatter

Heh.

While we're on the subject, though, nobody gets the kind of money you're talking about when it's an arbitration buyout.  Even Santana got four years and less than forty, I think, and that might even have included a year or two of free agency.  I can't immediately think of anybody who's topped $10mm per, in fact - so Fielder's deal (no FA years included) seems just about right.

That fat cunt's creaking body will break down soon enough, anyway, so this is a smart move by the Brewers.  Can you say Mo Vaughn?

The Brewers are now some kind of beer league softball team. Hitting the ball all over the place with pitchers throwing soft toss. Should be fun.

I'm going to enjoy them sliding back into NL Central irrelevance.  I wonder if all those fuckstick fair weather all pissed their pants when they made the playoffs last year, like they promised to.

UNTUCKEM!  Fuck you.

[Pre]

I would have expected 12-15 million range at least

You have to balance out a lot of the the HRs with the SOs and the knocking out top pitching prospects with his fat.

As a side note, I went to that game with BK and three high school aged female Brewers fans behind us bested him
in a taunting battle.  Later he tried to sex up an old man wearing socks and sandals.

[Oleg]

I would have expected 12-15 million range at least

You have to balance out a lot of the the HRs with the SOs and the knocking out top pitching prospects with his fat.

As a side note, I went to that game with BK and three high school aged female Brewers fans behind us bested him
in a taunting battle.  Later he tried to sex up an old man wearing socks and sandals.

Was he too drunk to recognize Fork?

[Kermit, B.]

I would have expected 12-15 million range at least

You have to balance out a lot of the the HRs with the SOs and the knocking out top pitching prospects with his fat.

As a side note, I went to that game with BK and three high school aged female Brewers fans behind us bested him
in a taunting battle.  Later he tried to sex up an old man wearing socks and sandals.

They didn't best me in legally purchasing beer, though.

BOOSH!

[Pre]

As a side note, I went to that game with BK and three high school aged female Brewers fans behind us bested him
in a taunting battle.  Later he tried to sex up an old man wearing socks and sandals.

Was he too drunk to recognize Fork?

Nah, this guy was funny.