"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Pre]

New Brewers manager Ken Macha said he's set to bat Rickie Weeks at the top of the order.

I'm sure some statfaggot will point out that Weeks has a .352 career OBP and tell me why this is a good idea for the Brewers.

Hopefully that person will also point out that Rickie Weeks completely blows and over the last two seasons has struck out 231 times in his last 884 ABs (which equates to 26% of the time.)

Weeks is probably as good as any other choice that isn't Fatty Fat Fat Fat.

[BC]

I actually didn't send anything in, I just posted that address in case anyone wants to write nasty letters to WGN Radio in the future.

[Gil Gunderson]

I actually didn't send anything in, I just posted that address in case anyone wants to write nasty letters to WGN Radio in the future.

Dear WGN,

Why is John Williams still employed?

Sincerely,

Gil Gunderson

[CT III]

I actually didn't send anything in, I just posted that address in case anyone wants to write nasty letters to WGN Radio in the future.

Dear WGN,

Why is John Williams still employed?

Sincerely,

Gil Gunderson

He's been coasting since he scored The Empire Strikes Back.

[Philberto]

He's back: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jJRyXcQFtkptQK_b8bgyXbxmv4rwD96DJIV01 Let's hope he makes the major league roster.

New Brewers manager Ken Macha said he's set to bat Rickie Weeks at the top of the order.

I'm sure some statfaggot will point out that Weeks has a .352 career OBP and tell me why this is a good idea for the Brewers.

Hopefully that person will also point out that Rickie Weeks completely blows and over the last two seasons has struck out 231 times in his last 884 ABs (which equates to 26% of the time.)

Weeks is probably as good as any other choice that isn't Fatty Fat Fat Fat.

As someone who was called obese by the Wii Fit, I find that Highly Offensive

[Andy]

BC,

You do realize that the last two guys to have that job didn't have a whole lot of experience before they got it?  And, when they hired the great Andy Masur and Cory Provus they did it far earlier on in the offseason.  They're desperate.  You're a desperate choice.  It's perfect!

If you don't send something in, I'm going to submit one of our shorter podcasts (one that times in around three hours) and Kermit and I will get the job and spend our one inning a game calling you a pussy.

Love,
Andy

[Jon]

If you don't send something in, I'm going to submit one of our shorter podcasts (one that times in around three hours) and Kermit and I will get the job and spend our one inning a game calling you a pussy.

That inning will last at least 75 minutes.

[Brownie]

BC,

You do realize that you do not completely suck at your job, right? That already makes you an improvement.

Thanks,

T.J. Brown

[MAD]

If you don't send something in, I'm going to submit one of our shorter podcasts (one that times in around three hours) and Kermit and I will get the job and spend our one inning a game calling you a pussy.

That inning will last at least 75 minutes.

As long as Steve Trachsel comes back to pitch it, it'll be fine.

[Brownie]

If you don't send something in, I'm going to submit one of our shorter podcasts (one that times in around three hours) and Kermit and I will get the job and spend our one inning a game calling you a pussy.

That inning will last at least 75 minutes.

As long as Steve Trachsel comes back to pitch it, it'll be fine.

I think a Kermit/Andy/Santo pairing would be tremendous. I think Kermit and Andy would say something somewhat funny on Opening Day and somewhere in the 7th inning of a September game, you'll hear Santo begin to guffaw, finally grasping the punchline.

[CBStew]

This blurb in the Tribune made me laugh out loud  (I am proud of myself for not resorting to the "lol"):


Jump around: Mike Fontenot and his girlfriend bought Ryan Theriot's kids a trampoline for Christmas, much to the Theriots' chagrin.

"It's only like a foot off the ground," Fontenot said. "They'll only break their arms, not their necks, so he's happy about it. He told me when I have kids, he's going to get them steak knives."

[Saul Goodman]

This blurb in the Tribune made me laugh out loud  (I am proud of myself for not resorting to the "lol"):


Jump around: Mike Fontenot and his girlfriend bought Ryan Theriot's kids a trampoline for Christmas, much to the Theriots' chagrin.

"It's only like a foot off the ground," Fontenot said. "They'll only break their arms, not their necks, so he's happy about it. He told me when I have kids, he's going to get them steak knives."

Hey, did you know they used to be teammates and are pretty much best friends?  True story.

[thehawk]

This blurb in the Tribune made me laugh out loud  (I am proud of myself for not resorting to the "lol"):


Jump around: Mike Fontenot and his girlfriend bought Ryan Theriot's kids a trampoline for Christmas, much to the Theriots' chagrin.

"It's only like a foot off the ground," Fontenot said. "They'll only break their arms, not their necks, so he's happy about it. He told me when I have kids, he's going to get them steak knives."

Hey, did you know they used to be teammates and are pretty much best friends?  True story.

Didn't they go to college together or something.

[Jon]

This blurb in the Tribune made me laugh out loud  (I am proud of myself for not resorting to the "lol"):


Jump around: Mike Fontenot and his girlfriend bought Ryan Theriot's kids a trampoline for Christmas, much to the Theriots' chagrin.

"It's only like a foot off the ground," Fontenot said. "They'll only break their arms, not their necks, so he's happy about it. He told me when I have kids, he's going to get them steak knives."

Hey, did you know they used to be teammates and are pretty much best friends?  True story.

Didn't they go to college together or something.

Since they both have French last names, maybe we can come up with a nickname implying this connection that is French. Perhaps a movie title.

The Amelie Brothers?

[Tank]

This blurb in the Tribune made me laugh out loud  (I am proud of myself for not resorting to the "lol"):


Jump around: Mike Fontenot and his girlfriend bought Ryan Theriot's kids a trampoline for Christmas, much to the Theriots' chagrin.

"It's only like a foot off the ground," Fontenot said. "They'll only break their arms, not their necks, so he's happy about it. He told me when I have kids, he's going to get them steak knives."

Hey, did you know they used to be teammates and are pretty much best friends?  True story.

Didn't they go to college together or something.

Since they both have French last names, maybe we can come up with a nickname implying this connection that is French. Perhaps a movie title.

The Amelie Brothers?

I like the way you're thinking.

I'm thinking something more in a Roy Scheider vein, though...

Perhaps?

(Granted, it's no J'ai le cancer, but I think it has a certain appropriate je ne sais quoi to it.