"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[PenFoe]

Just so we're all clear...

Dead/Drunk Cardinals = FUNNY

Hurt Cardinals = UNFUNNY

Wait, wait...I never said it wasn't funny.
It's funny as hell.

Just not cause for celebration.

I laughed and I celebrated.

Yeah, fuck them.  There were plenty of Cardinals fans dancing in the streets when Lee broke his wrist in '06, and the Cubs were completely irrelevant back then.

Not to mention that St. Louis was the scene of this crime:



Which has nothing to do with drunk/dead/injured Cardinals, but I still hate St. Louis and I'm going to laugh and party and celebrate and drink and be merry at the chance for the Cubs to bury them because of this injury.

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

You can see the culprit at the bottom of this photo (note: if this photo was actually the 3rd base side)

[Andy]

We all know for a fact that the Cardinals fans were batshit happy every time Prior and Wood got hurt, so fuck 'em.

I wasn't celebrating this morning, as much I was just mocking them for their plight.

Every team has injuries (lord knows the Cubs do), some are just funnier than others.

[Brownie]

Just so we're all clear...

Dead/Drunk Cardinals = FUNNY

Hurt Cardinals = UNFUNNY

Wait, wait...I never said it wasn't funny.
It's funny as hell.

Just not cause for celebration.

I laughed and I celebrated.

Yeah, fuck them.  There were plenty of Cardinals fans dancing in the streets when Lee broke his wrist in '06, and the Cubs were completely irrelevant back then.

Not to mention that St. Louis was the scene of this crime:



Which has nothing to do with drunk/dead/injured Cardinals, but I still hate St. Louis and I'm going to laugh and party and celebrate and drink and be merry at the chance for the Cubs to bury them because of this injury.

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

You can see the culprit at the bottom of this photo (note: if this photo was actually the 3rd base side)

Tarp injuries? Cardinals?

[Kermit, B.]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

[PenFoe]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

Much like your entire website, this link is a house of lies.
As is apparently every other article referencing this injury.

[Kermit, B.]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

Much like your entire website, this link is a house of lies.
As is apparently every other article referencing this injury.

That's because I wrote them ALL.

[Brownie]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

I'd trade a Bill Mueller injury for a Vince Coleman injury during the playoffs. Especially when the injury directly leads to moments like this:

[*In a Nutsack]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

If anything, you can tell it wasn't at Wrigley because Nomar's wearing grey pants.  Context clues...context clues, everyone.

EDIT:  Unless you were talking about the Bill Mueller injury.  In that case, I'm a douche and should be punched in the teeth.

[Kermit, B.]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

If anything, you can tell it wasn't at Wrigley because Nomar's wearing grey pants.  Context clues...context clues, everyone.

EDIT:  Unless you were talking about the Bill Mueller injury.  In that case, I'm a douche and should be punched in the teeth.

Fix'ed.

[Tank]

Is Don Denkinger in the Witness Protection program?

[CT III]

Don't forget the Bill Mueller injury!

That was at Wrigley.

No, it wasn't.

If anything, you can tell it wasn't at Wrigley because Nomar's wearing grey pants.  Context clues...context clues, everyone.

EDIT:  Unless you were talking about the Bill Mueller injury.  In that case, I'm a douche and should be punched in the teeth.

Fix'ed.

I just want to pile on PenFoe.  Kermit is right!  The injury came at Busch, when Mueller smacked his knee into one of those rotating adverstising sign that was along the wall on the (duh) 3rd base side.

[SKO]

We all know for a fact that the Cardinals fans were batshit happy every time Prior and Wood got hurt, so fuck 'em.

I wasn't celebrating this morning, as much I was just mocking them for their plight.

Every team has injuries (lord knows the Cubs do), some are just funnier than others.

THIS. I'm not saying if I'd been at Chase Field last night I'd have cheered as the guy was grimacing in pain on the mound. I wasn't cheering this morning. But the sympathy factor for a guy whose making 61 million to pitch in what, 6 games since his injury? is a little low. It's not like I'm delighting in his pain. I'm just delighting in the fact that it makes it a hell of a lot harder for those mouth breathers to talk about their SNEAK ATTACK everyday when I go home and my shirtless neighbor is mowing his lawn for the third time this week because lawn care and the Cardinals are what he found to waste his time on when he gave up drinking.

[Kermit, B.]

We all know for a fact that the Cardinals fans were batshit happy every time Prior and Wood got hurt, so fuck 'em.

I wasn't celebrating this morning, as much I was just mocking them for their plight.

Every team has injuries (lord knows the Cubs do), some are just funnier than others.

THIS. I'm not saying if I'd been at Chase Field last night I'd have cheered as the guy was grimacing in pain on the mound. I wasn't cheering this morning. But the sympathy factor for a guy whose making 61 million to pitch in what, 6 games since his injury? is a little low. It's not like I'm delighting in his pain. I'm just delighting in the fact that it makes it a hell of a lot harder for those mouth breathers to talk about their SNEAK ATTACK everyday when I go home and my shirtless neighbor is mowing his lawn for the third time this week because lawn care and the Cardinals are what he found to waste his time on when he gave up drinking.

Gave up drinking?  Quitter.

[BH]

Laugh it up. Assholes.

"News: The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that an MRI on Thursday confirmed Cardinals SP Chris Carpenter has a torn left oblique muscle. He likely will miss four to eight weeks. "It just confirmed our initial read," GM John Mozeliak said. "You certainly would have preferred it find nothing. But given his level of pain (Tuesday), this is what was expected.""

[LoneStarCubFan]

Laugh it up. Assholes.

"News: The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that an MRI on Thursday confirmed Cardinals SP Chris Carpenter has a torn left oblique muscle. He likely will miss four to eight weeks. "It just confirmed our initial read," GM John Mozeliak said. "You certainly would have preferred it find nothing. But given his level of pain (Tuesday), this is what was expected.""

Steroids are awful tough on the body.