"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[BH]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Pretty sure with Darwin locking in the 2nd base slot, Luis Castillo will be manning the hot corner next year.

[Internet Apex]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

You're going to get Aramis on a 1-year deal?

Assuming he has a decent year, he's going to be the best 3B on the market.

Only have like $7-800 to spend on him. I think if I could get the Ricketts to toss (||) another $10-12 Mil with an option for one more year, this might hai.

[SKO]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Then Brett Jackson brings his 1.164 OPS up to play center and bat in the 2 hole after they trade Byrd or Fukudome.

[BH]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Then Brett Jackson brings his 1.164 OPS up to play center and bat in the 2 hole after they trade Byrd or Fukudome.

Why are we talking about next year when we're right in the running for the division THIS YEAR?

[Chuck to Chuck]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

I'm still uncertain how much cash Dad lets Little Tommy spend this offseason.  Season ticket renewal rates will drive the decision.  The question is, which way do renewal rates have to go for Dad to allow Tom to spend the upcoming savings?  Does a drop mean "spend to defend the brand" or "We need to go 'Full Wirtz' and save every penny"?  Does an increase in tickets mean, "We don't have to spend as the Yellons are back in force" or "We have breathing room, so go ahead and spend on a whale"?

Let's see how this plays out.

[SKO]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Then Brett Jackson brings his 1.164 OPS up to play center and bat in the 2 hole after they trade Byrd or Fukudome.

Why are we talking about next year when we're right in the running for the division THIS YEAR?

I am talking about this year. By next year Jackson will be well established after he gets called up in the summer and steals the job of either Byrd or Fukudome, who are then traded for two high level prospects (in the abstract).

[BH]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Then Brett Jackson brings his 1.164 OPS up to play center and bat in the 2 hole after they trade Byrd or Fukudome.

Why are we talking about next year when we're right in the running for the division THIS YEAR?

I am talking about last year. By next year Jackson will be well established after he gets called up in the summer and steals the job of either Byrd or Fukudome, who are then traded for two high level prospects (in the abstract).

That's why I am glad Hendry is still around. That's his wheelhouse.

[R-V]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

Then Brett Jackson brings his 1.164 OPS up to play center and bat in the 2 hole after they trade Byrd or Fukudome.

Why are we talking about next year when we're right in the running for the division THIS YEAR?

Finally, the voice of reason. As soon as the commissioner accepts my appeal to wipe Dempster, Coleman and Russell starts from the standings, the Cubs will will be sitting pretty at 7-4.

[Saul Goodman]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

You're going to get Aramis on a 1-year deal?

Assuming he has a decent year, he's going to be the best 3B on the market.

Aramis Ramirez 3b
5 years/$75M (2007-11), plus 2012 club option

[PenPho]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

You're going to get Aramis on a 1-year deal?

Assuming he has a decent year, he's going to be the best 3B on the market.

Aramis Ramirez 3b
5 years/$75M (2007-11), plus 2012 club option

Truly the only site, you can just make shit up and wait for someone else to do the actual research.

2012: $16 million club option w/$2 million buyout, 2013: Free Agent.
2012 option becomes guaranteed if Ramirez wins one MVP in 2007-11, or places 2nd or 3rd in MVP vote twice in 2007-11, or wins LCS MVP once in 2007-11, or is an All Star 3 times in 2007-11.
Award bonuses: $75,000 each for Gold Glove or All Star selection, $250,000 for LCS MVP, $300,000 for MVP, $350,000 for WS MVP

$16 mill sounds reasonable considering Vitters is a gutless fucking asshole and the next best available 3B in 2012 is....Mark DeRosa?

[Armchair_QB]

I'm really excited for Chuck to start hating Prince Fielder more as a Cub than he does as a Brewer.

Hopefully Soriano will bat after Fielder in the order for some epic FYCs.

I think Castro would see a lot of straight stuff (poss hje) batting in front of the Fat Prince. I'd be ok with retaining Ramirez for one more year to bat fifth. I don't know if I could afford him though. I'm not rich or anything.

You're going to get Aramis on a 1-year deal?

Assuming he has a decent year, he's going to be the best 3B on the market.

Aramis Ramirez 3b
5 years/$75M (2007-11), plus 2012 club option

Truly the only site, you can just make shit up and wait for someone else to do the actual research.

2012: $16 million club option w/$2 million buyout, 2013: Free Agent.
2012 option becomes guaranteed if Ramirez wins one MVP in 2007-11, or places 2nd or 3rd in MVP vote twice in 2007-11, or wins LCS MVP once in 2007-11, or is an All Star 3 times in 2007-11.
Award bonuses: $75,000 each for Gold Glove or All Star selection, $250,000 for LCS MVP, $300,000 for MVP, $350,000 for WS MVP

$16 mill sounds reasonable considering Vitters is a gutless fucking asshole and the next best available 3B in 2012 is....Mark DeRosa?

Next year's third baseman is playing third base tonight.

[CBStew]

"As the Cardinals take on their biggest division rivals, beginning Tuesday night, they'll do so without their manager. Tony La Russa will reportedly miss at least the first game of the series, as he's suffering from shingles. (StLtoday.com )

The long-time manager has been dealing with the viral infection in the area surrounding his right eye for most of the season and was examined at the Mayo Clinic Monday. He described the pain as "miserable" after Sunday's game against the Brewers and his eye has been swollen the point of nearly being shut on some days."

Before all of the DUeye jokes start, let me give my unasked for medical advice.  There is a vaccine against shingles.  I recommend that you get it.

[PenPho]

"As the Cardinals take on their biggest division rivals, beginning Tuesday night, they'll do so without their manager. Tony La Russa will reportedly miss at least the first game of the series, as he's suffering from shingles. (StLtoday.com )

The long-time manager has been dealing with the viral infection in the area surrounding his right eye for most of the season and was examined at the Mayo Clinic Monday. He described the pain as "miserable" after Sunday's game against the Brewers and his eye has been swollen the point of nearly being shut on some days."

Before all of the DUeye jokes start, let me give my unasked for medical advice.  There is a vaccine against shingles.  I recommend that you get it.

I bet this turns out to be Valley Fever from the 4/11-4/13 trip vs. DBacks.

[Quality Start Machine]

Maybe my wish came true, and The Genius was actually fucked in the eye with his gay dad's dick.

[Internet Apex]

Maybe my wish came true, and The Genius was actually fucked in the eye with his gay dad's dick.

(||). And awesome.