"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

[ChuckD]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Bill Jurges ain't moving off shortstop, Fork.  The man took a fucking bullet, in-season for crissakes.

Yeah, but Castro probably pulled the trigger.

[InternetApex]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

[SKO]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

This.

[Slaky]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

This.

DERREK

[SKO]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

This.

DERREK

I think Apex was doing a thing a la Derrick Rose. Maybe he wasn't. If he wasn't doing a thing your outrage is validated.

[Quality Start Machine]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

Only until Rizzo actually goes Red Wedding on Cincinnati's dugout this year.

[InternetApex]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Bob Brenly certainly fanned the flames of that stupid, stupid fire, and it's a big reason why I'm glad Bob fucking left.

People around here called him Pancakes for some reason nobody will say to my face.

I just remember one really stupid stretch where the guy with the only grand slam in Cubs postseason history who I believe is also the franchise record holder for walk off homers got criticized for only "playing well when it doesn't matter".

Christ I hate Cubs fans.

I thought Sosa was the walkoff leader.

Maybe he is, if so Aramis isn't far behind. None of this changes that he was the balls and anyone who has a problem with that can rot.

Stitching this onto a sampler to display in my kitchen.

Seriously, if you wanted to make an all-balls Cub team, Aramis would be your third baseman. Dawson would be in right, Williams in left. Then you'd just make the rest of the team out of Glenn Beckert.

Dunston at short. Banks at first. Hank White behind the diddish. Jenkins, Wood, Zambrano, Three-Finger Brown. Lee Arthur Smith blows smoke in the 9th.

We need a centerfielder. 

Tarzan.

Also, no to Dunston. 

Fine. Banks can move back to short and Derrick Lee can play first.

This.

DERREK

I think Apex was doing a thing a la Derrick Rose. Maybe he wasn't. If he wasn't doing a thing your outrage is validated.

I had Turdthrow on the brain actually. I am rightly chastised.

[Shooter]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Most of those people were local sportswriters and talk radioheads (most of them white) who had it out for the best 3B this city had seen in 3 decades because he wore a facemask while playing April baseball in Chicago. That, combined with the presence of a much shittier player at 3B on the South Side who was both white and on a World Series team (and thus tried much harder) for some reason made Aramis into a bad guy in the eyes of various meatballs in the press and fanbase.

Up yours, Barry Rozner.

And some of the rest were Chuck.

[Bort]

This thread works cause it's a sad story: https://twitter.com/AdamMcCalvy/status/571333892323483648

Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his final season.

I feel like he might be the most underappreciated Cub of my lifetime. The dude was really damn good for quite a stretch and yet lots of people seemed to have a problem with him.

Most of those people were local sportswriters and talk radioheads (most of them white) who had it out for the best 3B this city had seen in 3 decades because he wore a facemask while playing April baseball in Chicago. That, combined with the presence of a much shittier player at 3B on the South Side who was both white and on a World Series team (and thus tried much harder) for some reason made Aramis into a bad guy in the eyes of various meatballs in the press and fanbase.

Up yours, Barry Rozner.

And some of the rest were Chuck.

In a way, aren't they all Chuck?

[Andy]

People who don't love E-ramis unconditionally are assholes.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why is Apex still so butthurt about "Pancakes"?  I LOVE Ramirez (who the fuck wouldn't?) and I loved that nickname.  More HR's = more pancakes.  Bring that tall ass stack up and drown it in some butter and maple syrup (*smashes a 400 foot drive to right-center).  More players should be motivated by the thought of eating pancakes.  Ain't nothing wrong with Ramirez and ain't nothing wrong with motherfucking pancakes.

For me growing up, all people ever bitched about in this town was that the Cubs had some sort of Death Void at third base since Ron Santo (even though CF's been just as woeful and stretches back further).  Finally they got a real third baseman to shut up this stupid discussion and it was a hitter who was--with apologis to DLee-- the finest hitter on some of the more most consistently successful Cubs teams (I know, not a stretch) from 2003 through 2013--and he wasn't even around for the last few of those years.  Borb's mustache can get fucked.

[InternetApex]

Why is Apex still so butthurt about "Pancakes"?  I LOVE Ramirez (who the fuck wouldn't?) and I loved that nickname.  More HR's = more pancakes.  Bring that tall ass stack up and drown it in some butter and maple syrup (*smashes a 400 foot drive to right-center).  More players should be motivated by the thought of eating pancakes.  Ain't nothing wrong with Ramirez and ain't nothing wrong with motherfucking pancakes.

For me growing up, all people ever bitched about in this town was that the Cubs had some sort of Death Void at third base since Ron Santo (even though CF's been just as woeful and stretches back further).  Finally they got a real third baseman to shut up this stupid discussion and it was a hitter who was--with apologis to DLee-- the finest hitter on some of the more most consistently successful Cubs teams (I know, not a stretch) from 2003 through 2013--and he wasn't even around for the last few of those years.  Borb's mustache can get fucked.

To me that name implied that he was fat and out of shape or lazy.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Why is Apex still so butthurt about "Pancakes"?  I LOVE Ramirez (who the fuck wouldn't?) and I loved that nickname.  More HR's = more pancakes.  Bring that tall ass stack up and drown it in some butter and maple syrup (*smashes a 400 foot drive to right-center).  More players should be motivated by the thought of eating pancakes.  Ain't nothing wrong with Ramirez and ain't nothing wrong with motherfucking pancakes.

For me growing up, all people ever bitched about in this town was that the Cubs had some sort of Death Void at third base since Ron Santo (even though CF's been just as woeful and stretches back further).  Finally they got a real third baseman to shut up this stupid discussion and it was a hitter who was--with apologis to DLee-- the finest hitter on some of the more most consistently successful Cubs teams (I know, not a stretch) from 2003 through 2013--and he wasn't even around for the last few of those years.  Borb's mustache can get fucked.

To me that name implied that he was fat and out of shape or lazy.

That's how I recall it, too. Wasn't it supposed to be a reference to him 'running like he'd just eaten a stack of pancakes'?

[SKO]

Why is Apex still so butthurt about "Pancakes"?  I LOVE Ramirez (who the fuck wouldn't?) and I loved that nickname.  More HR's = more pancakes.  Bring that tall ass stack up and drown it in some butter and maple syrup (*smashes a 400 foot drive to right-center).  More players should be motivated by the thought of eating pancakes.  Ain't nothing wrong with Ramirez and ain't nothing wrong with motherfucking pancakes.

For me growing up, all people ever bitched about in this town was that the Cubs had some sort of Death Void at third base since Ron Santo (even though CF's been just as woeful and stretches back further).  Finally they got a real third baseman to shut up this stupid discussion and it was a hitter who was--with apologis to DLee-- the finest hitter on some of the more most consistently successful Cubs teams (I know, not a stretch) from 2003 through 2013--and he wasn't even around for the last few of those years.  Borb's mustache can get fucked.

To me that name implied that he was fat and out of shape or lazy.

That's how I recall it, too. Wasn't it supposed to be a reference to him 'running like he'd just eaten a stack of pancakes'?

I also thought it was an insult we had co-opted and turned into an exultation we shouted whenever he hit one out. So I understand Apex still seeing it as an insult where Huey naturally just saw that we'd made it a point of pride.

Long story short we all agree Aramis is the balls. Let us not destroy each other with wasteful infighting.