"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Oleg]

Because I am a horrid troll who likes to see how miserable the Cubs are making life for their opponents, I went to read the Bucs dugout recap of this game and check out the butthurt here:

the Cubs were back in Pittsburgh, and their the blue-jersey-clad fans had popped back out of their hell holes. Before the game they milled about Federal Street, sipping PBR, another thing they totally were just as into five years ago. For sure. Inside PNC Park, the professionals in blue made pests of themselves, too,

Holy shit, does a fucking Pirates fan really want to go with the "their fans only care when the team is good" approach? Where the fuck were Pirates fans before 2013? Hell, where the fuck are Pirates fans now?

They (and fans of most other teams, I'm noticing) also really, really hate Joe Maddon. Which is probably one of those glad-he's-with-us things, because I'm sure we'd all hate his whole shtick if he was managing the Cardinals.

I'm a very petty person (get it, Fork?) so I would hate anyone who's really good at their when they do that job for my least favorite team.

something, something, "the whole their?"

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

[CT III]

I guess the one thing I don't understand is calling Cubs fans "bandwagoners".

Motherfucker, the team is good once every 10 years and the Big Joke used to be "those morons fill up Wrigley even when the team sucks".

You can't have it both ways.

I went to PNC for a weekend series with my friends back in the Piniella days and we had a great time. Of course there were a few Pirates fans who didn't take too kindly to us and we probably deserved it. But the Cubs have always had good traveling support and PNC happens to be a top 5 destination ballpark in the majors. So that's life. Go back to having a shitty ballpark if you hate it so much.

You'd think that, but it turns out when you're really stupid, you CAN have it both ways.

[Grandmaster Wang]

How badly did Sean Rodriguez crap his pants when he was told he's gotta step into the box against Jake tonight?

[Quality Start Machine]

How badly did Sean Rodriguez crap his pants when he was told he's gotta step into the box against Jake tonight?

Someone hide the Gatorade buckets.

[Shooter]

I guess the one thing I don't understand is calling Cubs fans "bandwagoners".

Motherfucker, the team is good once every 10 years and the Big Joke used to be "those morons fill up Wrigley even when the team sucks".

You can't have it both ways.

I went to PNC for a weekend series with my friends back in the Piniella days and we had a great time. Of course there were a few Pirates fans who didn't take too kindly to us and we probably deserved it. But the Cubs have always had good traveling support and PNC happens to be a top 5 destination ballpark in the majors. So that's life. Go back to having a shitty ballpark if you hate it so much.

Yeah it's the same thing we tell White Sox fans and Thom, if you hate Cubs fans so much fill up your fucking ballpark.

Cubs fans are, by and large, insufferable.

[Canadouche]

I guess the one thing I don't understand is calling Cubs fans "bandwagoners".

Motherfucker, the team is good once every 10 years and the Big Joke used to be "those morons fill up Wrigley even when the team sucks".

You can't have it both ways.

I went to PNC for a weekend series with my friends back in the Piniella days and we had a great time. Of course there were a few Pirates fans who didn't take too kindly to us and we probably deserved it. But the Cubs have always had good traveling support and PNC happens to be a top 5 destination ballpark in the majors. So that's life. Go back to having a shitty ballpark if you hate it so much.

Yeah it's the same thing we tell White Sox fans and Thom, if you hate Cubs fans so much fill up your fucking ballpark.

Cubs fans are, by and large, insufferable.

I think this is fair. But I also think it's true of any team with a large fan base.

[InternetApex]

Because I am a horrid troll who likes to see how miserable the Cubs are making life for their opponents, I went to read the Bucs dugout recap of this game and check out the butthurt here:

the Cubs were back in Pittsburgh, and their the blue-jersey-clad fans had popped back out of their hell holes. Before the game they milled about Federal Street, sipping PBR, another thing they totally were just as into five years ago. For sure. Inside PNC Park, the professionals in blue made pests of themselves, too,

Holy shit, does a fucking Pirates fan really want to go with the "their fans only care when the team is good" approach? Where the fuck were Pirates fans before 2013? Hell, where the fuck are Pirates fans now?

They (and fans of most other teams, I'm noticing) also really, really hate Joe Maddon. Which is probably one of those glad-he's-with-us things, because I'm sure we'd all hate his whole shtick if he was managing the Cardinals.

DPD, but yeah I've noticed fans were all fine with Joe Maddon when he was with the harmless Rays whom no one gives a shit about, but now that he's leading the Cubs instead of a scrappy underdog he's suddenly an overrated hack with a bunch of gimmicks and nothing else.

I have a theory that a lot of people are really not cool with the concept of the Cubs being good, because it shatters one of their comfortable illusions. Just like when I was growing up in SC, and we always had Louisiana and Mississippi below us on educational standards, and needed it that way for our own self-image.

Oh yeah, the Cubs never actually winning it all is necessary for most White Sox, Cardinals, and various other fans to keep their perspective. Pittsburgh has been a garbage franchise for most of the last 30 years but Pittsburgh fans my age who weren't even born the last time they won a championship can still make 1908 jokes to take their mind off of the fact that the Cubs came in and pissed all over the tiny window of contention they thought they had.

You can throw Reds fans of all ages into this category too.

[Saul Goodman]

Yesterday I was talking to a Pirates fan, who is very smart and successful, in my office.  He is 100% convinced that the Cubs hit the Pirates with too many pitches, always on purpose, that Joe Maddon (who he absolutely hates and claims is secretly just like Tony La Russa but acts happy-go-lucky and above-the-fray to throw everyone off) is behind it, that both of Jake Arrieta's HBPs in last year's Wild Card game were on purpose, and that the Pirates are completely justified to hit as many Cubs as they want from now on "so the Cubs will stop bullying them, like the Cardinals stopped when we started hitting them back."

Wow.

Almost forgot: He says the Cubs are not that good and are going to collapse this season, probably not even make the playoffs.  I asked what that says about the Pirates who just got swept at home looking like they didn't even belong on the same field.

[Canadouche]

Yesterday I was talking to a Pirates fan, who is very smart and successful, in my office.  He is 100% convinced that the Cubs hit the Pirates with too many pitches, always on purpose, that Joe Maddon (who he absolutely hates and claims is secretly just like Tony La Russa but acts happy-go-lucky and above-the-fray to throw everyone off) is behind it, that both of Jake Arrieta's HBPs in last year's Wild Card game were on purpose, and that the Pirates are completely justified to hit as many Cubs as they want from now on "so the Cubs will stop bullying them, like the Cardinals stopped when we started hitting them back."

Wow.

Almost forgot: He says the Cubs are not that good and are going to collapse this season, probably not even make the playoffs.  I asked what that says about the Pirates who just got swept at home looking like they didn't even belong on the same field.

Fixed.

[ChuckD]

Yesterday I was talking to a Pirates fan, who is very smart and successful, in my office.  He is 100% convinced that the Cubs hit the Pirates with too many pitches, always on purpose, that Joe Maddon (who he absolutely hates and claims is secretly just like Tony La Russa but acts happy-go-lucky and above-the-fray to throw everyone off) is behind it, that both of Jake Arrieta's HBPs in last year's Wild Card game were on purpose, and that the Pirates are completely justified to hit as many Cubs as they want from now on "so the Cubs will stop bullying them, like the Cardinals stopped when we started hitting them back."

Wow.

Almost forgot: He says the Cubs are not that good and are going to collapse this season, probably not even make the playoffs.  I asked what that says about the Pirates who just got swept at home looking like they didn't even belong on the same field.

From now on? Since the start of 2015...

Cubs hitters facing Pirates pitchers: 15 HBP
Pirates hitters facing Cubs pitchers: 10 HBP

[Bort]

Yesterday I was talking to a Pirates fan, who is very smart and successful, in my office.  He is 100% convinced that the Cubs hit the Pirates with too many pitches, always on purpose, that Joe Maddon (who he absolutely hates and claims is secretly just like Tony La Russa but acts happy-go-lucky and above-the-fray to throw everyone off) is behind it, that both of Jake Arrieta's HBPs in last year's Wild Card game were on purpose, and that the Pirates are completely justified to hit as many Cubs as they want from now on "so the Cubs will stop bullying them, like the Cardinals stopped when we started hitting them back."

Wow.

Almost forgot: He says the Cubs are not that good and are going to collapse this season, probably not even make the playoffs.  I asked what that says about the Pirates who just got swept at home looking like they didn't even belong on the same field.

From now on? Since the start of 2015...

Cubs hitters facing Pirates pitchers: 15 HBP
Pirates hitters facing Cubs pitchers: 10 HBP

Never let facts get in the way of some good old rust belt self-pity.

[SKO]

I think this weekend may have temporarily moved Pittsburgh ahead of St. Louis in my schadenfreude rankings. These fake tough guy assholes need can rot.

[Slaky]

I think this weekend may have temporarily moved Pittsburgh ahead of St. Louis in my schadenfreude rankings. These fake tough guy assholes need can rot.

It's amusing. I guess the Cubs and Cards need to play 10-12 times in a month to see if this becomes a dual theater war. Right now, this Cubs-Pirates thing is getting pretty serious and I am really happy about that.

[SKO]

I think this weekend may have temporarily moved Pittsburgh ahead of St. Louis in my schadenfreude rankings. These fake tough guy assholes need can rot.

It's amusing. I guess the Cubs and Cards need to play 10-12 times in a month to see if this becomes a dual theater war. Right now, this Cubs-Pirates thing is getting pretty serious and I am really happy about that.

I remain convinced that these are just meatball Steelers fans who haven't figured out how to adjust to baseball yet because their response to literally fucking everything is just "HIT SOMEBODY, SHOW EM WE'RE TUFF"

[Quality Start Machine]

I think this weekend may have temporarily moved Pittsburgh ahead of St. Louis in my schadenfreude rankings. These fake tough guy assholes need can rot.

It's amusing. I guess the Cubs and Cards need to play 10-12 times in a month to see if this becomes a dual theater war. Right now, this Cubs-Pirates thing is getting pretty serious and I am really happy about that.

I remain convinced that these are just meatball Steelers fans who haven't figured out how to adjust to baseball yet because their response to literally fucking everything is just "HIT SOMEBODY, SHOW EM WE'RE TUFF"

The Bucs' players are salty as fuck. I'll be shocked if the benches don't empty next time these teams play.