Bonertastic Sploogemungous Mark DeRosa Thread

[Internet Apex]

What the fuck is it about DeRo? Some fuckstick in the comments thinks he's good for 20-25 HR.

It can't just be stubble that makes people think that way, can it?

He's a nice guy to have as a super-sub type, but I don't even think he could hit 25 HR sharing needles with Albie.

It might be the fact that he hit 21 in 2008 and 23 in 2009.

Sure, but as soon as he starts sharing needles with Albie... AIDS.

Try hitting 20+ jimmies then, white knight.

17 homers in his first 1,075 plate appearances (1 per 63 PAs).  75 in his next 2,481 (1 per 33 PAs).

It's almost like there's something in Texas.

A small ballpark?

The best hitting coach in the history of any sport?

Hot-blooded Mexican babes with raven black hair, supple breasts and long dark brown legs leading down to perfectly manicured feet and toes? 

EDIT: Oh, Chuck to Chuck meant ridiculously lax gun-control laws, natch.

I just got horny

Thinking about all the home made tamales and chimichangas no doubt.

Tex-Mex is awful awful.

I adamantly disagree. Like anything, some Tex-Mex is good while other Tex-Mex is bad. One of my favorite restaurants is Tex-Mex.

Is it authentic?

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

the waiters could have to run past Minutemen to bring you your food.

You know, the Tamale Guy never did show up at Cody's last night. Hmmm....

[PenFoe]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

[Eli]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

I don't see why not.

[CubFaninHydePark]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

But there's plenty of authentic Mexican if you know where to look.

And then there's Pancheros, if that fails.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

I don't see why not.

Pen is a big believer in geographic determinism.

Iowa is too far away from Texmexico to be authentic.

[PenFoe]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

I don't see why not.

Pen is a big believer in geographic determinism.

Iowa is too far away from Texmexico to be authentic.

It's not even on the border of Texmexico!

[Gil Gunderson]

I don't know. Is there such a thing as "authentic Tex-Mex"? The salsa is fresh. The chips are warm. The fajitas are hot and tasty. It's good.

Yes, just not in Iowa.

I don't see why not.

Pen is a big believer in geographic determinism.

Iowa is too far away from Texmexico to be authentic.

It's not even on the border of Texmexico!

Penfoe's Theory of Geographic Food Taste Determinism.

Submit that shit to the journal Science, ASAP!

[Slaky]

Back to Rudy Hamandyellow for a second.

I can't see any possible situation where the media and the rest of the mouthbreathing Cub fans would turn on the Highest Paid Non-Manager of All Time™...

CAN YOU!?!??!

[Saul Goodman]

Back to Rudy Hamandyellow for a second.

I can't see any possible situation where the media and the rest of the mouthbreathing Cub fans would turn on the Highest Paid Non-Manager of All Time™...

CAN YOU!?!??!

Just wait until TONY!  LARUSSA! is bench coach and DAVE!  DUNCAN!  is co-pitching coach.  Nothing could ever go wrong with such a highly paid coaching staff.  Jim Hendry has figured out that it's coaches he needs to splurge for, not players.  IT'S GONNA HAI

[Saul Goodman]

DPD.

DeRosa explained that he was "tired of being a lot of teams' Plan B."

Cue violins...

[Brownie]

You know who could save this team now? Mark DeRosa.

[Brownie]

Since any similar thread about Aramis was Ratto'd, I'd thought I'd go with the only Cub in history who was better.

Take that Houston!

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

His OPS has climbed .145 in the last ten games.

That's just sick.

[Shooter]

His OPS has climbed .145 in the last ten games.

That's just sick.

Chuck will soon tell us that it doesn't matter because he did it after the season was over (no offense to TJ's "It's Gonna Hai" thread).

[Internet Apex]

His OPS has climbed .145 in the last ten games.

That's just sick.

Chuck will soon tell us that it doesn't matter because he did it after the season was over (no offense to TJ's "It's Gonna Hai" thread).

Jagoff didn't have the good taste to not be injured when they *Really* needed him.