Josh Vitters is, um, like, awesome

[EG]

Are we gonna call this kid J-Vitt, JV, or Vitty?

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Tyler Colvin or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

[StewiesBandwagon]

Are we gonna call this kid J-Vitt, JV, or Vitty?

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Tyler Colvin or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

He's in the Cubs system. It's only a matter of time.

[Three times a JD]

Are we gonna call this kid J-Vitt, JV, or Vitty?

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Tyler Colvin or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

I know, right?  Also, word on the street is that he plays a pretty good outfield.

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

Why is Tom Dreesen funny again? Wait, why is he funny for the first time? What did he do to get famous? He's the worst. Ever.

This is a very, very good point.  I positive this observation.

[Kwyjibo]

Maybe the Cubs need to market a bra, guaranteed to create a colossal bust.

[Lunchbox]

Did the Cubs really give that kid 10 mil?  He better have Cecil Fielder power, because he is a dumb mother fucker if he thinks he's going to waltz in here and be a .320 hitter with power.  Have a cup of humility, son.  Tell us you are going to work your ass off and bust some hymans, that's how you'll get my respek.

[udbox]

Why is Tom Dreesen funny again? Wait, why is he funny for the first time? What did he do to get famous? He's the worst. Ever.

This is a very, very good point.  I positive this observation.

My wife and I were watching the game when Dreesen appeared on the screen.  We had wondered aloud how long it would take him to mention Sinatra.  First sentence out of his mouth (paraphrase) "I'm not nervous about singing the stretch...I did a lot of shows with Frank".  At least he's stopped calling him "Mr. Sinatra".  I guess he's been dead long enough that Dreesen can finally stop kissing his ass.  The worst.

[Internet Apex]

Chuck's avatar is tits-out.

[Kwyjibo]

Chuck's avatar is titsmoobs-out.

Fat Elvis'ed.

[Chuckosan]

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

Fine:  Modified:

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Corey Patterson or Felix Pie or Ronny Cedeno or Eric Patteson or Donald Veal or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie or ANY OTHER ASSWIPE THAT WE'RE TOLD IS UP AND COMING while good players like Theriot and Fontenot get ignored by this braintrust I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Satisfied?

[EG]

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

Fine:  Modified:

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Corey Patterson or Felix Pie or Ronny Cedeno or Eric Patteson or Donald Veal or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie or ANY OTHER ASSWIPE THAT WE'RE TOLD IS UP AND COMING while good players like Theriot and Fontenot get ignored by this braintrust I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Satisfied?

No.  Are you also saying that Pie is a bust after a half season in the majors?  And Patterson, after six major league at bats?

[Chuckosan]

Colvin is already a bust, after one year?  He's done all right so far.

Fine:  Modified:

I was going to save time and not even learn his name so that when he becomes the next Corey Patterson or Felix Pie or Ronny Cedeno or Eric Patteson or Donald Veal or Mark Pawlek or Ryan Harvey or Bobbie Brownlie or ANY OTHER ASSWIPE THAT WE'RE TOLD IS UP AND COMING while good players like Theriot and Fontenot get ignored by this braintrust I won't have to curse Jim Hendry again.

Satisfied?

No.  Are you also saying that Pie is a bust after a half season in the majors?  And Patterson, after six major league at bats?

I'm saying, for all the hype over all those names, Theriot and Fontenot have been the best.  I don't give a shit who Hendry drafts and says is good because the on-field performance shows that guys Hendry thinks sucks are actually good and the guys he thinks are good are still pending question marks at best.

[Pre]

Did the Cubs really give that kid 10 mil?  He better have Cecil Fielder power, because he is a dumb mother fucker if he thinks he's going to waltz in here and be a .320 hitter with power.  Have a cup of humility, son.  Tell us you are going to work your ass off and bust some hymans, that's how you'll get my respek.

What did you expect?  A top draft pick thinks he's going to be great.  I'm shocked!  Let's get out the indignation!!!

I wish he would have said that he'd struggle in A ball, finally put it together and dominate AA and AAA only to flame out and never reach his potential posting a career line of 244/290/393 in 354 career at bats.

Honestly, can't you think of something better to complain about that the fact some super talented high school player thinks he's going to be great.  Isn't there a drama geek at your local high school that wants to be in a Scorsese film that you can go throw rotten fruit at?

[Kwyjibo]

Did the Cubs really give that kid 10 mil?  He better have Cecil Fielder power, because he is a dumb mother fucker if he thinks he's going to waltz in here and be a .320 hitter with power.  Have a cup of humility, son.  Tell us you are going to work your ass off and bust some hymans, that's how you'll get my respek.

What did you expect?  A top draft pick thinks he's going to be great.  I'm shocked!  Let's get out the indignation!!!

I wish he would have said that he'd struggle in A ball, finally put it together and dominate AA and AAA only to flame out and never reach his potential posting a career line of 244/290/393 in 354 career at bats.

Honestly, can't you think of something better to complain about that the fact some super talented high school player thinks he's going to be great.  Isn't there a drama geek at your local high school that wants to be in a Scorsese film that you can go throw rotten fruit at?

My wife swears the drama kids in her High School weren't geeks.

Of course, she went to Ridgewood (NJ) High School - home of the Fighting Caucasians.

[Slaky+]

Did the Cubs really give that kid 10 mil?  He better have Cecil Fielder power, because he is a dumb mother fucker if he thinks he's going to waltz in here and be a .320 hitter with power.  Have a cup of humility, son.  Tell us you are going to work your ass off and bust some hymans, that's how you'll get my respek.

What did you expect?  A top draft pick thinks he's going to be great.  I'm shocked!  Let's get out the indignation!!!

I wish he would have said that he'd struggle in A ball, finally put it together and dominate AA and AAA only to flame out and never reach his potential posting a career line of 244/290/393 in 354 career at bats.

Honestly, can't you think of something better to complain about that the fact some super talented high school player thinks he's going to be great.  Isn't there a drama geek at your local high school that wants to be in a Scorsese film that you can go throw rotten fruit at?

My wife swears the drama kids in her High School weren't geeks.

Of course, she went to Ridgewood (NJ) High School - home of the Fighting Caucasians.

Drama kids were all big and fat and gross and they all fucked each other. So they did generally have a lot of sex. But consider who they were having sex with. Gross.