How's this for a tits-out day?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

I have a strong suspicion that the answer is: Fork.

[Quality Start Machine]

I wonder what Black Sunday and Trachsel on 3-days rest and DOOOOOOM was all about. I don't remember anything like that. I just remember being happy to live in Chicago and having a bloody hand whilst riding the train drunk back home. I'm sure people sit on the Red Line leaking blood from their fist and grinning from ear to ear all the time but it was a new experience for me and I think I and the City itself are better for it.

I have no idea. I also don't remember the guy trying to fight our whole section. I do remember Garvey and shitty pizza though. Good times.

He didn't want to fight. He just wanted to talk shit. And when we taunted him back he got asshurt. But he knew better. Just some dumbass cracker. I should talk though. I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

The convo went thusly:

Asshurt Card Fan: Any one of you fucking guys, let's go!

Old Guy Covered in Mustard: It doesn't work that way. You want one of us, you get us all.

ACF: You call that a fight?

OGCiM: No, I call that an asskicking.

/convo

[CT III]

I wonder what Black Sunday and Trachsel on 3-days rest and DOOOOOOM was all about. I don't remember anything like that. I just remember being happy to live in Chicago and having a bloody hand whilst riding the train drunk back home. I'm sure people sit on the Red Line leaking blood from their fist and grinning from ear to ear all the time but it was a new experience for me and I think I and the City itself are better for it.

I have no idea. I also don't remember the guy trying to fight our whole section. I do remember Garvey and shitty pizza though. Good times.

He didn't want to fight. He just wanted to talk shit. And when we taunted him back he got asshurt. But he knew better. Just some dumbass cracker. I should talk though. I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

The convo went thusly:

Asshurt Card Fan: Any one of you fucking guys, let's go!

Old Guy Covered in Mustard: It doesn't work that way. You want one of us, you get us all.

ACF: You call that a fight?

OGCiM: No, I call that an asskicking.

/convo

This is the first I've heard of Oleg's dad being in attendance.

[Internet Apex]

Not only do I get to cut out of work early to take in a ballgame with Huey, Slak and Apex, but...

The Cubs clobber the Shitbirds 12-3

Ankiel takes the Golden Sombrero amid our HGH chants.

We get to heckle an assload of Cardinals fans, one of whom wants to fight an entire section. He finally decides discretion is in fact the better part of valor.

The Chiefs get a new TE for my fantasy team.

A picture of Steve Garvey in a Padres uniform a Tards fan's face at Sluggers gets pwned.

Words can't do it justice.

My hand scars explained in five years'd.

So help you God if you're injured for Thursday's doubleheader.  You're such a Farnsworth.

Shit, I'll be there bleeding through my batting gloves and hitting ropes down the RF line to plate our only run of the game again. It'll just add to my mystique. I got no job but I got mystique comin' out my ass crack, ogden.

Shut up, Pex. You're a douche.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

[Brownie]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

[Quality Start Machine]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

[Internet Apex]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

[Slaky]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

I have one of those but I still come around.

[Quality Start Machine]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

I have one of those but I still come around.

God damnit, Marie.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Well, I was lucky enough to attend today's game against the Satanic Fowl with Desipio All Stars Apex, Fork and Huey and it was probably one of the best games I've ever been to. When we showed up I was feeling pretty down about the Cubs chances given that we had just watched the pre game and Lou told us that Trachsel was going to pitch on three days' rest. The events of Black Sunday had left all of us feeling a bit down about the fate of the Cubs.

But today was one to remember. The Cubs obviously pounded the ever-loving shit out of St. Louis' poor excuse for pitching as Ted Lilly did what he does best: win after a Cubs loss. As the runs added up and the empty beer cups stacked up the euphoria was there. The crowd was great and we represented with the HGH chant like you've never heard. Not to mention Fork's one liners. As the Cardinal fans streamed for the exits in the seventh inning (best fans in baseball my pimply ass) one of them actually came up to try and challenge our entire section to a fight. Granted, this guy looked like he had T Rex arms and a medicine ball head...I don't know what he was thinking. It would have been great had security not dragged his ass back out and pointed him toward his trailer, but alas...

Then we hit up Sluggers for some post game revelry and some batting practice. We then headed downstairs where we noticed all of the pictures of famous ex-ballplayers including Dawson, Maddux and wait...is that a picture of Steve Garvey??? Well, it was anyway. Until Apex decided to shatter the glass with his fist. Probably one of the funniest things I had ever seen. Fuck Steve Garvey. And fuck the Cardinals.

Long live Desipio.

Bumped for safe-keeping.

Another Bump to further ensure immortality. 

[Tonker]

It's probably a good thing I couldn't make it, because I have a feeling I might have taken that douche up on his offer to go.

Any reaction to the HGH chant? How loud did it grow?

Suuuuuuure you would, you fat fucking fascist.

[Canadouche]

It's probably a good thing I couldn't make it, because I have a feeling I might have taken that douche up on his offer to go.

Any reaction to the HGH chant? How loud did it grow?

Suuuuuuure you would, you fat fucking fascist.

In Fascist Utopia, everyone is fat fucking.