Kerry Wood Sploogefest Thread

[*In a Nutsack]

Do the Cubs get two first-round draft picks because of this?

It's probably the right thing to do, but I got that kick in the balls feeling in my stomach right now.

And yes, Mike D, I am a little bitch.

Those always go well.

I guess I feel like this:  would we rather have Gregg, and two first round picks that may or may not (probably) pan out in two-to-four years or have Kerry effin' Wood for life?  I'll take Kerry effin' Wood.  I'm emotional right now...I've got the vapors.

[Mike Douche]

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

I haven't been this upset about a Cub leaving. Ever. Shit!

If you're too young to remember Greg Maddux walking away in his prime, then I forgive you.

Otherwise, you're a dope.

[Dave B]

I can think of 4-5 other fucks on this team that are more highly-paid than Wood that I would rather see depart.

And while they have a history of questionable draft picks, if Demp also leaves they'll have five first-round selections and one or two of those should pan out.

[LoneStarCubFan]

I can think of 4-5 other fucks on this team that are more highly-paid than Wood that I would rather see depart.

And while they have a history of questionable draft picks, if Demp also leaves they'll have five first-round selections and one or two of those should pan out.

Of course none will pan out in time to make a shit's worth of difference in 2009.

Wood is gone but Jason Marquis is still fucking here. Lovely. Just fucking lovely.

[Philberto]

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

I haven't been this upset about a Cub leaving. Ever. Shit!

I can think of one.  Also a pitcher, wore glasses.  Didn't bring the heat like Woody, but was pretty good also.

Wondering who is going to give Wood a 3 or 4 year deal, but sure there is someone out there who will.  Thanks for the memories Kerry.

I was too young to feel the connect and pain for him...

[Mike Douche]

Meh.

I'm not nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

How am I a little bitch?  I thought I was just ANGRY.

[*In a Nutsack]

I am too young for the Maddux thing.

Yeti...your avatar made me feel a little better today.  Thanks.

[MidgetSellingWater]

Do the Cubs get two first-round draft picks because of this?

It's probably the right thing to do, but I got that kick in the balls feeling in my stomach right now.

And yes, Mike D, I am a little bitch.

We get two picks since he is a Type A, but they may not be in the first round.  One will definitely be a "sandwich" pick, i.e. the round between 1 and 2, but the second pick will only be in the first round if the team that signs him is picking 17-32.  Otherwise, the Cubs get their second round pick.  However, if that team picks up another Type A before Kerry, then the Cubs would get their 3rd round pick.

So, it depends.

[Old Style Man]

Meh.

I'm not nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

I'm not all that upset either. I'll miss Kerry. Dude has huge balls and has been a favorite of mine since he came up. I'll always remember taking time out from studying for a Constitutional Law final to watch his 20k masterpiece. Of course he's had some other good to great years and performances, but has never achieved what most of us thought he would do to various injuries and through no fault of his own. However, it's time to part ways if he can get a long term deal. More power to him, but it's way too risky to give him anything beyond 2 years and an option, especially at the price it's going to cost. I wish him luck and hope he doesn't get injured again with one caveat. If he goes to the Mets or Cardinals I hope he never throws another pitch.

[Waco Kid]

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

I haven't been this upset about a Cub leaving. Ever. Shit!

If you're too young to remember Greg Maddux walking away in his prime, then I forgive you.

Otherwise, you're a dope.

I still hate Larry Himes with the fury of thousands of white hot suns. Fuck him with said rusty fucking chainsaw.

[PenFoe]

Meh.

I'm not nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

How am I a little bitch?  I thought I was just ANGRY.

I would say that, first and foremost, calling other people out for actual attachments to players would rank as a characteristic on that list.

[Old Style Man]

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

I haven't been this upset about a Cub leaving. Ever. Shit!

If you're too young to remember Greg Maddux walking away in his prime, then I forgive you.

Otherwise, you're a dope.

I still hate Larry Himes with the fury of thousands of white hot suns. Fuck him with said rusty fucking chainsaw.

Himes sucks, but Don Grenesko, a Cubs VP, was truly the evil piece of shit that lost Maddux. He's the one that pulled the offer that Maddux was going to accept.

[Mike Douche]

Meh.

I'm not nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

How am I a little bitch?  I thought I was just ANGRY.

I would say that, first and foremost, calling other people out for actual attachments to players would rank as a characteristic on that list.

When you say "first and foremost" it implies a point in addition to the first one.

No matter.  I'm attached to players, sure.  But if there is sound reasoning for letting a player that I am atatched to go, then I'm not about to kick up some dirt over it.

Wood is fragile and he's asking for 3-4 years?  He's easily my favorite Cub for the past decade but there's nothing sane or reasonable about providing that kind of a deal.  Move on.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

[Mike Douche]

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

I haven't been this upset about a Cub leaving. Ever. Shit!

If you're too young to remember Greg Maddux walking away in his prime, then I forgive you.

Otherwise, you're a dope.

I still hate Larry Himes with the fury of thousands of white hot suns. Fuck him with said rusty fucking chainsaw.

Himes sucks, but Don Grenesko Stanton Cook, a Cubs VP, was truly the evil piece of shit that lost Maddux. He's the one that pulled the offer that Maddux was going to accept.

Different Tribune suit'd.

[butthead]

Maddux leaving was different for me, but because he was as good a pitcher as there was in baseball and he was in his prime. He couldn't be replaced. Marmol can replace Kerry, and it might be the smart move to pass on a long deal for him, but it still sucks because he was a favorite. But I'll get over it.