Kerry Wood Sploogefest Thread

[5laky]

I have a distinct, terrible vision that Woody goes to Milwaukee.

Or St. Louis.
Or the Mets.

Part of me is holding out hope that he wouldn't since...you know...he gets it.
I hope he goes to the Rangers, that way he'll be "home" and, outside of an occasional interleague match-up, I can just fondly root for him.
 
But at this point all bets are off.

The Rangers would be perfect. There aren't even Ranger fans. Have you ever met one? No. Case closed.

[Simmer]

Meh.

I'm not nearly as upset about this as I thought I would be.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

How am I a little bitch?  I thought I was just ANGRY.

I would say that, first and foremost, calling other people out for actual attachments to players would rank as a characteristic on that list.

When you say "first and foremost" it implies a point in addition to the first one.

No matter.  I'm attached to players, sure.  But if there is sound reasoning for letting a player that I am atatched to go, then I'm not about to kick up some dirt over it.

Wood is fragile and he's asking for 3-4 years?  He's easily my favorite Cub for the past decade but there's nothing sane or reasonable about providing that kind of a deal.  Move on.

Some of y'all are little bitches.

JASON MARQUIS got a 3-year deal.

Yeah, but he hasn't been hurt ONCE during that time.  God damnit.

Which is an absolute fucking shame. Wood gets hurt climbing out of a hot tub and fuckwits like Marquis and the not-so-dearly-departed NEIFI!!! are Lou Fucking Gehrig.

To paraphrase Bill Hicks:

John Lennon is dead, but Barry Manilow continues to make fucking music.

To paraphrase Simmer:

Bill Hicks is dead, but Dennis Leary/Dane Cook continues to make a fucking living.

I have a distinct, terrible vision that Woody goes to Milwaukee.

Or St. Louis.
Or the Mets.

Part of me is holding out hope that he wouldn't since...you know...he gets it.
I hope he goes to the Rangers, that way he'll be "home" and, outside of an occasional interleague match-up, I can just fondly root for him.
 
But at this point all bets are off.

The Rangers would be perfect. There aren't even Ranger fans. Have you ever met one? No. Case closed.

Two of my friends are Rangers fans.  I agree that it would be a perfect destination for Wood.  That would put me at ease.

[Saul Goodman]

Thankfully, Pollyellon has explained why this is so awful.

Many of you think I make too much out of clubhouse chemistry, but Kerry Wood was one of the leaders of this team, someone others, not just pitchers, looked up to. Who's the face of the franchise now? Bat-breaking Carlos Zambrano? Quiet Derrek Lee? Maybe Geovany Soto could step up in a couple of years, but it seems a bit early for that. I'm very sad that Wood, who is one of my favorite players, is going to be in another uniform next year -- and the team 90 miles to the north in Milwaukee is looking for a closer and I'm guessing Doug Melvin would love nothing more than to stick it to the Cubs by offering Wood a three or four year deal.

Does he mean the "bat-breaking" Carlos Zambrano who actually showed up for the playoffs that were cancelled?  Yeah, we definitely can't have him as The Face of the Franchise.  That hothead.

[Thrillho]

Thankfully, Pollyellon has explained why this is so awful.

Many of you think I make too much out of clubhouse chemistry, but Kerry Wood was one of the leaders of this team, someone others, not just pitchers, looked up to. Who's the face of the franchise now? Bat-breaking Carlos Zambrano? Quiet Derrek Lee? Maybe Geovany Soto could step up in a couple of years, but it seems a bit early for that. I'm very sad that Wood, who is one of my favorite players, is going to be in another uniform next year -- and the team 90 miles to the north in Milwaukee is looking for a closer and I'm guessing Doug Melvin would love nothing more than to stick it to the Cubs by offering Wood a three or four year deal.

Does he mean the "bat-breaking" Carlos Zambrano who actually showed up for the playoffs that were cancelled?  Yeah, we definitely can't have him as The Face of the Franchise.  That hothead.

Shut up, Paul. You're a douche.

But you're not Al Yellon. So that's at least something.

[Simmer]

Thankfully, Pollyellon has explained why this is so awful.

Many of you think I make too much out of clubhouse chemistry, but Kerry Wood was one of the leaders of this team, someone others, not just pitchers, looked up to. Who's the face of the franchise now? Bat-breaking Carlos Zambrano? Quiet Derrek Lee? Maybe Geovany Soto could step up in a couple of years, but it seems a bit early for that. I'm very sad that Wood, who is one of my favorite players, is going to be in another uniform next year -- and the team 90 miles to the north in Milwaukee is looking for a closer and I'm guessing Doug Melvin would love nothing more than to stick it to the Cubs by offering Wood a three or four year deal.

Does he mean the "bat-breaking" Carlos Zambrano who actually showed up for the playoffs that were cancelled?  Yeah, we definitely can't have him as The Face of the Franchise.  That hothead.

SUPYAD?  I finally figured out what that meant yesterday.  I'm a dope.  DANG!

(Just by adding "DANG!" to that post, Thrill beat me to the SUPYAD Post Punch.  DANG!  FACE.  DANGFACE.)

I'm guessing Doug Melvin would love nothing more than to stick it to the Cubs by offering Wood a three or four year deal.

I never read BCB and I often complain about it when others link that shit here.  This is a fine example why.  GotDAYYYUMN, Al.  This is stupidity on the "headbutt-a-brick" level.  Yeah, the Brewers will really stick it to us there.  Their DL will rival ours.  Whatever will we do!

[Internet Apex]

Do the Cubs get two first-round draft picks because of this?

It's probably the right thing to do, but I got that kick in the balls feeling in my stomach right now.

And yes, Mike D, I am a little bitch.

Tits.

What did you say, dude?

[Andy]

There can't really be a team out there that will offer Kerry a four year deal, right?  I mean, unless "year" means month.

[Mike Douche]

There can't really be a team out there that will offer Kerry a four year deal, right?  I mean, unless "year" means month.

I think even three would be some kind of crazy.

[Andy]

Check this out from Pollyellon.

Sigh...

... I'm afraid you're right. The value of Kerry Wood to this franchise, however, transcends his abilities on the field. That's what they are going to miss.

They had better sign Ryan Dempster now, or the inmates are going to be running the asylum like in 2004, and it won't be pretty.

"That's my opinion and if you don't like it, well, I have others." ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Nov 13, 2008 4:55 PM CST to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Because clearly, this will now cause chaos! 

Kevin Millar to the rescue!

[Mike Douche]

People who type "sigh" should be dragged across broken glass.

[5laky]

People who type "sigh" should be dragged across broken glass.

I'd like to borrow this at some point. Not here, though. I might not give you credit. Just a heads up.

[thehawk]

There can't really be a team out there that will offer Kerry a four year deal, right?  I mean, unless "year" means month.

That is my hope as well, and Wood will come back to the Cubs for a 2 year deal.  Unfortunately I have learned to never underestimate the stupidity of a General Manager.

[TJ]

If Wood wanted a 3 or 4 year deal, it's pretty hard to justify it at this point, so I can't argue with Hendry for telling him au revoir.  I think it's perfectly reasonable to lament a favorite guy's tenure ending.  

I also think it's reasonable to question how Gregg for Wood makes the team better in 2009. (I know Wood for 4 years is not practical). Peavy has not yet been acquired. Dempster has not been re-signed.

Let's not debate whether it was reasonable to sign him to a 3 or 4 year deal.

Instead, let's toast Wood for this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

Of course, this.

Oh, and this (the biggest win by the Cubs' franchise in the last 100 years).


Even this, the game-tying Game 7 homer.

The memories of 2004, 2005, 2006? Let's just say it was lost in the haze of the Dusty Baker era.  Look over the beginning of this thread as he had moments last year and this year of awing us with his stuff.  He was unfair when he was at his best.  He had a couple maddening outings when his control temporarily abandoned him.  Oh well.

Again, a three or four year deal is ridiculous for Kerry Wood. Giving him 2 years is probably pushing it. I just wanted him to be part of the team next year when it wins the World Series.

[5laky]

Great stuff, TJ.

When his career ends and he settles down in Texas with his family - I have a feeling we'll see Kerry Wood throwing out the first pitch and waving to the crowd definitely a few times in Chicago.

[Eli]

I know we all have a sentimental attachment to Wood, but he probably wants $10-12 million a year.  No closer should get that much cash, especially not one with Wood's injury history.  I don't blame Hendry here.