Kerry Wood Sploogefest Thread

[DwightKurtz]

Also, it's a sad reflection (yet fitting) that many people consider Kerry Wood -- at times brilliant, but ultimately disappointing -- the face of the Cubs.

I'm sorry, did you say something?  I can't stop looking at Kirsten Bell's shapely ass.

[Thrillho]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

[Eli]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

Dude.  Money orders.  Get with the times.

[smg]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

People who pay by check in stores deserve to get caught in horrible traffic jams while being stuck behind 18-wheelers that totally block their view of what might be happening on their way home from using such inconsiderate instruments of payment.  Especially the ones who actually do the math in their check register at the store.*



*I say this even though my PC isn't working, and I can't access my electronic check register in Quicken until I get a copy of Windows to install on my Mac.  I would never go back to writing checks.  So 20th century. 

[Tonker]

I heard Hendry say on Boers and Bernstein today that he considers Kerry Wood a younger "brother." He said that they'll be friends for the rest of their lives. He also said that when Wood retires he'll always have a spot with the team, whether it's as a coach, advisor, consultant, Spring Training instructor, ambassador, whatever he wants. He said that Kerry has the potential to earn money elsewhere that the Cubs are not in a position to pay him right now and he should go do it.

So if you're mad at Hendry for Kerry Wood leaving the Cubs you're a bit off base. Like Moises Alou, you're not paying attention and you deserve to get hosed.

And now, I'm going to bitch and whine because Kerry Wood will be pitching for the Dodgers next year.

FUUUUUUUDFJ;lkasdjfgkl;ajwl;kfgjpq;iojrwfp;ijrwf...

Ok. I feel better now.

THIS.  THIS.  THIS.

Kerry Wood IS the Cubs for me.  He and I came up at the same time.  And if I were Jim Hendry, I'd have let him walk, too - and I, too, would have hated having to do it.

In a parallel Universe, the one where Hendry just gave Kerry a 4-year, $35m deal, I'm going to be watching this message board to see the weeping and gnashing of teeth half way through next season when Wood's shoulder gives up once and for all.  I hope that parallel Hendry is ready for a rough ride from the fans.

[Quality Start Machine]

I hope Wood gets to take the mound at least one more time at Wrigley, so everyone can give him the Standing O as thanks.

Then I hope he gets torched.

And I'm sure that's how he wants it.

[DwightKurtz]

I heard Hendry say on Boers and Bernstein today that he considers Kerry Wood a younger "brother." He said that they'll be friends for the rest of their lives. He also said that when Wood retires he'll always have a spot with the team, whether it's as a coach, advisor, consultant, Spring Training instructor, ambassador, whatever he wants. He said that Kerry has the potential to earn money elsewhere that the Cubs are not in a position to pay him right now and he should go do it.

So if you're mad at Hendry for Kerry Wood leaving the Cubs you're a bit off base. Like Moises Alou, you're not paying attention and you deserve to get hosed.

And now, I'm going to bitch and whine because Kerry Wood will be pitching for the Dodgers next year.

FUUUUUUUDFJ;lkasdjfgkl;ajwl;kfgjpq;iojrwfp;ijrwf...

Ok. I feel better now.

THIS.  THIS.  THIS.

Kerry Wood IS the Cubs for me.  He and I came up at the same time.  And if I were Jim Hendry, I'd have let him walk, too - and I, too, would have hated having to do it.

In a parallel Universe, the one where Hendry just gave Kerry a 4-year, $35m deal, I'm going to be watching this message board to see the weeping and gnashing of teeth half way through next season when Wood's shoulder gives up once and for all.  I hope that parallel Hendry is ready for a rough ride from the fans.

Wood to you is Andre Dawson to me.  My first year as a Cub fan was Andre's first year as a Cub ... then, when I turned 13 he was gone.

If the parallel is accurate, then cheer up chum.  You just became a man, although you now have to deal with a decade of self confidence issues and you're a long way off from getting laid for the first time.  ...yeah, on second thought, the comparison kind of falls apart.

[TDubbs]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

People who pay by check in stores deserve to get caught in horrible traffic jams while being stuck behind 18-wheelers that totally block their view of what might be happening on their way home from using such inconsiderate instruments of payment.  Especially the ones who actually do the math in their check register at the store.*



*I say this even though my PC isn't working, and I can't access my electronic check register in Quicken until I get a copy of Windows to install on my Mac.  I would never go back to writing checks.  So 20th century. 

hi

[Mike Douche]

Some of y'all are little bitches.

Thank baby fucking jesus that I checked to see if you thought it was ok for me to be sad about this.

It's fine to be sad. I'm sad.  I'm referring to the petuant overreaction like this:

Fuck Jim Hendry with a rusty fucking chainsaw.

Fuck Jim Hendry with a rusty fucking chainsaw.

Amen.

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

Go to hell, Hendry.

Hendry can go fuck himself.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

I'd be interested in the details.  Was is 4-40 or nothing?  Was 2-24 with an option to make it 3-36 even on the table?  4 years is absolutely too long, 2 years would be perfect.  3 with a buyout would've been a nice compromise.

[Philberto]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

People who pay by check in stores deserve to get caught in horrible traffic jams while being stuck behind 18-wheelers that totally block their view of what might be happening on their way home from using such inconsiderate instruments of payment.  Especially the ones who actually do the math in their check register at the store.*



*I say this even though my PC isn't working, and I can't access my electronic check register in Quicken until I get a copy of Windows to install on my Mac.  I would never go back to writing checks.  So 20th century. 

hi

You bring a smile to my face, Tip, even in this time of mourning.

[Thrillho]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

People who pay by check in stores deserve to get caught in horrible traffic jams while being stuck behind 18-wheelers that totally block their view of what might be happening on their way home from using such inconsiderate instruments of payment.  Especially the ones who actually do the math in their check register at the store.*



*I say this even though my PC isn't working, and I can't access my electronic check register in Quicken until I get a copy of Windows to install on my Mac.  I would never go back to writing checks.  So 20th century. 

hi

SMG... I think Chad here has a few questions for you on the finer points of anatomy.

[CBStew]

Some of y'all are little bitches.

Thank baby fucking jesus that I checked to see if you thought it was ok for me to be sad about this.

It's fine to be sad. I'm sad.  I'm referring to the petuant overreaction like this:

Fuck Jim Hendry with a rusty fucking chainsaw.

Fuck Jim Hendry with a rusty fucking chainsaw.

Amen.

FUCK BALLS COCK DICK MEAT CURTAIN DONUT FUCK COCK I HATE THIS SHIT BALLS DICK COCK FUCK SHIT BITCH DOUCHE.

Fuck.  This sucks.  On a sentimental level, this is a kick in the fuckin' sperm flagella.

Go to hell, Hendry.

Hendry can go fuck himself.

I think that there are some folks who need a time out.

[Philberto]

I do not approve.

So now that Prior and Wood are gone, do you have to find a new team?

I was never into Prior.

I don't need a new team; I might, however, have to get Extra Innings again, which I was perhaps planning to skip.

Sounds to me like you already have your checkbook out.

(People still use checks, right?)

People who pay by check in stores deserve to get caught in horrible traffic jams while being stuck behind 18-wheelers that totally block their view of what might be happening on their way home from using such inconsiderate instruments of payment.  Especially the ones who actually do the math in their check register at the store.*



*I say this even though my PC isn't working, and I can't access my electronic check register in Quicken until I get a copy of Windows to install on my Mac.  I would never go back to writing checks.  So 20th century. 

hi

SMG... I think Chad here has a few questions for you on the finer points of anatomy.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of the MEAT CURTAIN....


*I'm sorry. Did I cross a line there?

[Jon]

He was fragile. But there were few players that I rooted for more than him.



Godspeed, Kerry Wood.

This.