Larry Rothschild can eat a bag of dicks

[LoneStarCubFan]

Not because Rich Hill's vagina is bigger than Jenna Jameson's.

Not because Jason Marquis is a useless bag of puss.

Not because Ted Lilly needed a month of regular season starts to get into regular season shape

No, Larry Rothschild can eat a bag of dicks because this fucking pitching staff won't fucking go after hitters. It's nibble, nibble, nibble, rocket off the fucking wall. And never, ever pitch inside. And whatever you do, when one of your teammates gets dusted don't EVER go up and in on the other guy's star or the fucking cocksucker who dusted your guy.

Fucking asshole.

[Kurt Heinrick]

You'll have to ask Augie-O what it's like to eat a bag of dicks

[Mike Douche]

Not because Rich Hill's vagina is bigger than Jenna Jameson's.

Not because Jason Marquis is a useless bag of puss.

Not because Ted Lilly needed a month of regular season starts to get into regular season shape

No, Larry Rothschild can eat a bag of dicks because this fucking pitching staff won't fucking go after hitters. It's nibble, nibble, nibble, rocket off the fucking wall. And never, ever pitch inside. And whatever you do, when one of your teammates gets dusted don't EVER go up and in on the other guy's star or the fucking cocksucker who dusted your guy.

Fucking asshole.

As a charter member of the "Run Larry Fraudschild Outta Town On a Rail" club, I heartily endorse this thread.

[Weebs]

I think what Rothschild is trying to preach is location more than anything.  Unfortunately, that location is always away from the hitter, and very rarely inside.  Lilly and Zambrano are the only pitchers I regularly see go inside on hitters, but that's probably because they'd like nothing more than to kill whoever is standing in the batter's box.  I think the real problem is we don't have any power pitchers anymore.  When a guy doesn't have overpowering stuff (and Z is really the only pitcher that does), you can't keep staying away from the hitters and then try to come back inside and expect to get away with it.  I think it would be great to see guys like Gallagher (and maybe even Veal, despite his hideous numbers since his promising years in the minors) get a chance to start and really overpower hitters.  Without dominant stuff, the staff has to pitch to location, and if they're even a little off, they'll get rocked.  I think it can be said that the only can't-hit pitches this staff has are Z's sinker and Lilly/Hill's curveball.  It worked last year because we had a really good Rich Hill and what seems to be a better defense, despite the fact that not many positions have changed, with two (CF and RF) actually getting stronger.  On the bright side, we had pretty similar concerns last April/May and managed to make the playoffs.  With the April we had and Zambrano's dominance, I'm not too concerned yet.

But back to the specific topic of the thread, I agree, Rothschild can go fuck himself.

[air2300]

Not because Rich Hill's vagina is bigger than Jenna Jameson's.

Not because Jason Marquis is a useless bag of puss.

Not because Ted Lilly needed a month of regular season starts to get into regular season shape

No, Larry Rothschild can eat a bag of dicks because this fucking pitching staff won't fucking go after hitters. It's nibble, nibble, nibble, rocket off the fucking wall. And never, ever pitch inside. And whatever you do, when one of your teammates gets dusted don't EVER go up and in on the other guy's star or the fucking cocksucker who dusted your guy.

Fucking asshole.

As a charter member of the "Run Larry Fraudschild Outta Town On a Rail" club, I heartily endorse this thread.

Can you just fire Larry in your head?  Kind of like when you traded Jock last year?  It worked out well for the cubs then...

[PTanner]

I maintain, yet again, my belief that the key to Zambrano's success has been his total ignorance of anything Fraudschild has to say.

[Waco Kid]

I approve this message.

[Eli]

Not because Rich Hill's vagina is bigger than Jenna Jameson's.

I still don't get why Rich Hill's inability to throw strikes means he has girl parts.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

I don't doubt that he can...the question is, will he?  (Or can we find someone to make him?)

[*In a Nutsack]

Not because Rich Hill's vagina is bigger than Jenna Jameson's.

I still don't get why Rich Hill's inability to throw strikes means he has girl parts.

When have you ever seen a girl throw overhand strikes with a baseball?

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

[Al Yellon]

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

So would you nibble around the edges like Rich Hill, or pound her inside like Big Z?

[*In a Nutsack]

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

So would you nibble around the edges like Rich Hill, or pound her inside like Big Z?

Hit it from behind like Izturis.

[PTanner]

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

So would you nibble around the edges like Rich Hill, or pound her inside like Big Z?

Hit it from behind like Izturis.

I'd line one into the gap like Fukkake.

[*In a Nutsack]

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

So would you nibble around the edges like Rich Hill, or pound her inside like Big Z?

Hit it from behind like Izturis.

I'd line one into the gap like Fukkake.

That's the money shot, Fork.  The money shot.  Always end it with some Fukakke.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

Marissa Miller was high and outside.  I wanna be in her.

So would you nibble around the edges like Rich Hill, or pound her inside like Big Z?

Hit it from behind like Izturis.

I'd line one into the gap like Fukkake.

Internet Pauls, huh?  We all know we'd misplay that like Soriano.