The Phil Rogers Curse?

[Waco Kid]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

I'd much rather the Tribune waive Phildo, or trade him for a bag of balls or a bucket of shit.

[Brownie]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

OK, OK, I'll bite. I hate the Cubs-Sox series. Hate it. I hate interleague play. I hate the type of Cubs and Sox fans who act like this is the fucking Super Bowl. It's Taste of Chicago and Cubs-Sox series time, so I hang out at home away from the idiots.

You know who likes the Cubs-Sox series? My brother-in-law, who lives for this shit. He invited me to Friday's game, but I begged off on Wednesday because I had too much to finish at work.  Most important, though, I hate when people act like regular season games between two mediocre teams mean anything.  Anyway...

... Zambrano plunks Wise in the sixth. I get a cell phone call from my brother in law. Considering my sister is 9 mos. pregnant, I was expecting it to be a call that I'm an uncle, assistance is needed, etc. Instead, he leaves a voice mail, filled with more vitriol than an angry Lou Piniella could muster. Here's the transcript from the voice mail:

Zambrano is a PIECE OF SHIT. And he sucks too.

Again, it was not a voice of ha ha, he's unnerved, he's unraveling. It was anger, as if Zambrano gave Jon cancer or something.  I don't respond. I'm actually out in my yard when it happened, listening to the game. Again, it's a mid-season baseball games between two teams going nowhere.

So, anyway, my wife and I get back from a movie and I turn my phone on, and I get a text message from the genius brother-in-law (God, I'm going to have stupid nieces or nephews):

I suggest you guys read today's on line article from phil rogers in the tribune. it's right in the money.

"In the money" as in rich? Or "on the money" as in what Phil never is? Must be rich.

Anyway, I'm eagerly awaiting his response to my response:

You guys? Who is "you guys?"

Then I read the article.

Goddamn, my sister's going to have a dumb child.

[Quality Start Machine]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

OK, OK, I'll bite. I hate the Cubs-Sox series. Hate it. I hate interleague play. I hate the type of Cubs and Sox fans who act like this is the fucking Super Bowl. It's Taste of Chicago and Cubs-Sox series time, so I hang out at home away from the idiots.

You know who likes the Cubs-Sox series? My brother-in-law, who lives for this shit. He invited me to Friday's game, but I begged off on Wednesday because I had too much to finish at work.  Most important, though, I hate when people act like regular season games between two mediocre teams mean anything.  Anyway...

... Zambrano plunks Wise in the sixth. I get a cell phone call from my brother in law. Considering my sister is 9 mos. pregnant, I was expecting it to be a call that I'm an uncle, assistance is needed, etc. Instead, he leaves a voice mail, filled with more vitriol than an angry Lou Piniella could muster. Here's the transcript from the voice mail:

Zambrano is a PIECE OF SHIT. And he sucks too.

Again, it was not a voice of ha ha, he's unnerved, he's unraveling. It was anger, as if Zambrano gave Jon cancer or something.  I don't respond. I'm actually out in my yard when it happened, listening to the game. Again, it's a mid-season baseball games between two teams going nowhere.

So, anyway, my wife and I get back from a movie and I turn my phone on, and I get a text message from the genius brother-in-law (God, I'm going to have stupid nieces or nephews):

I suggest you guys read today's on line article from phil rogers in the tribune. it's right in the money.

"In the money" as in rich? Or "on the money" as in what Phil never is? Must be rich.

Anyway, I'm eagerly awaiting his response to my response:

You guys? Who is "you guys?"

Then I read the article.

Goddamn, my sister's going to have a dumb child.

For the kid's sake, you better volunteer for babysitting duty.

[RV]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

I'd much rather the Tribune waive Phildo, or trade him for a bag of balls or a bucket of shit.

I almost feel bad for Phildo at this point. I think this is another case of a Trib sports editor realizing that no one is buying or linking to his piece of shit sports page, so he needs somebody to write something CONTROVERSIAL that will get some BUZZ for the paper. Since most of the staff has been fired, Phil gets handed the assignment. And since Phil obviously doesn't have enough talent to write something informative AND provocative, we end up with dogshit like this.

[CT III]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

I'd much rather the Tribune waive Phildo, or trade him for a bag of balls or a bucket of shit.

I almost feel bad for Phildo at this point. I think this is another case of a Trib sports editor realizing that no one is buying or linking to his piece of shit sports page, so he needs somebody to write something CONTROVERSIAL that will get some BUZZ for the paper. Since most of the staff has been fired, Phil gets handed the assignment. And since Phil obviously doesn't have enough talent to write something informative AND provocative, we end up with dogshit like this.

I think you're right about the assignment, but I'll never feel sorry for Phil Rogers.  That asshole has been drawing a fat paycheck to churn out shit like this for years, and now he's finally getting the public embarrassement he so richly deserves.  The Trib should bring back dead Jerome Holtzman, he'd still do a better job than Phildo.

And while they're at it, rehire Don Pierson, Sam Smith and Bernie Lincicome.  I'd like to have a readable fucking sports section on Sunday mornings.

[Lukester]

I haven't lived in Chicago for about 10 years so its a little hard to get the temperature sometimes,  but does this fucking dork think that now that the city is sans Mariotti writing for a major paper,,  he needs to step up to the plate?    Or has he always produced columns that were this shitty?

He just reeks of hack.  A bloviating feckling uncompromising hack.     It seems that he says outrageous things,  just to say outrageous things. 

Is he the new Mariotty?

[Oleg]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

I'd much rather the Tribune waive Phildo, or trade him for a bag of balls or a bucket of shit.

I almost feel bad for Phildo at this point. I think this is another case of a Trib sports editor realizing that no one is buying or linking to his piece of shit sports page, so he needs somebody to write something CONTROVERSIAL that will get some BUZZ for the paper. Since most of the staff has been fired, Phil gets handed the assignment. And since Phil obviously doesn't have enough talent to write something informative AND provocative, we end up with dogshit like this.

I think you're right about the assignment, but I'll never feel sorry for Phil Rogers.  That asshole has been drawing a fat paycheck to churn out shit like this for years, and now he's finally getting the public embarrassement he so richly deserves.  The Trib should bring back dead Jerome Holtzman, he'd still do a better job than Phildo.

And while they're at it, rehire Don Pierson, Sam Smith and Bernie Lincicome.  I'd like to have a readable fucking sports section on Sunday mornings.

Is this how bad sports journalism has gotten in this city; or is CT just trying to make a point?

[CT III]

Phildo does it again:

I give you COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.

I'd much rather the Tribune waive Phildo, or trade him for a bag of balls or a bucket of shit.

I almost feel bad for Phildo at this point. I think this is another case of a Trib sports editor realizing that no one is buying or linking to his piece of shit sports page, so he needs somebody to write something CONTROVERSIAL that will get some BUZZ for the paper. Since most of the staff has been fired, Phil gets handed the assignment. And since Phil obviously doesn't have enough talent to write something informative AND provocative, we end up with dogshit like this.

I think you're right about the assignment, but I'll never feel sorry for Phil Rogers.  That asshole has been drawing a fat paycheck to churn out shit like this for years, and now he's finally getting the public embarrassement he so richly deserves.  The Trib should bring back dead Jerome Holtzman, he'd still do a better job than Phildo.

And while they're at it, rehire Don Pierson, Sam Smith and Bernie Lincicome.  I'd like to have a readable fucking sports section on Sunday mornings.

Is this how bad sports journalism has gotten in this city; or is CT just trying to make a point?

I was being serious, I like/liked reading all of those guys.

[Brownie]

Smith was the crazy trade rumor guy of the NBA, but he acknowledged he was the crazy trade rumor guy (unlike Peter Vescey). Lincicome's writing style is as good as it gets, even if he was a cynic. But he was also a smart cynic. He'd not be a human fire alarm, and he would actually pause to be human.  Pierson was a highly unheralded NFL writer, on par with Will McDonough.

[ChuckD]

This is the kind of shit that makes me want to make like a JD and hop aboard the Royals bandwagon.

[Eli]

This is the kind of shit that makes me want to make like a JD and hop aboard the Royals bandwagon.

Don't do it.  I dabbled for about two weeks earlier this year and it sucked more than every Cub disappointment of my lifetime rolled into one.

[Oleg]

Smith was the crazy trade rumor guy of the NBA, but he acknowledged he was the crazy trade rumor guy (unlike Peter Vescey). Lincicome's writing style is as good as it gets, even if he was a cynic. But he was also a smart cynic. He'd not be a human fire alarm, and he would actually pause to be human.  Pierson was a highly unheralded NFL writer, on par with Will McDonough.

I never liked Smith.  Admitting you're a "crazy-rumor guy" doesn't it make it right.  Saying he's better than Vescey is just sad.  I liked Lincicome when I was in high school.  I also liked Whitesnake and thought "Pour Some Sugar On Me" was a great song.  High school sucked, I grew up went to college and discovered "stuff".

Pierson?  OK...

[Slaky]

This is the kind of shit that makes me want to make like a JD and hop aboard the Royals bandwagon.

Don't do it.  I dabbled for about two weeks earlier this year and it sucked more than every Cub disappointment of my lifetime rolled into one.

I love that you tried it though. You're a better man than I am. I sit here hating the Cubs, hating Cub fans and yet I still can't do anything about it but watch every single game and instantly wish I had those three hours back.

[RV]

I sit here hating the Cubs, hating Cub fans and yet I still can't do anything about it but watch every single game and instantly wish I had those three hours back.

You just summed up my baseball fan existence in one sentence and I'm quite depressed now.

[*In a Nutsack]

I sit here hating the Cubs, hating Cub fans and yet I still can't do anything about it but watch every single game and instantly wish I had those three hours back.

You just summed up my baseball fan existence in one sentence and I'm quite depressed now.

If you drink a few beers and surf pr0n on the side, it helps cut the dong-bashing continuum of frustration.