Pollyellon banned me

[Armchair_QB]

Wait, we're only one Shane Victorino and one Kevin Youkilis away from turning this thing around? How did I miss this?

Theo, make it happen!

[Slaky]

Wait, we're only one Shane Victorino and one Kevin Youkilis away from turning this thing around? How did I miss this?

Theo, make it happen!

He wouldn't address the length of the contracts either.

God he's fucking retarded.

[Armchair_QB]

Hendry would have had them signed by now...

Nice choice Tom.

[CT III]

Wait, we're only one Shane Victorino and one Kevin Youkilis away from turning this thing around? How did I miss this?

Theo, make it happen!

He wouldn't address the length of the contracts either.

God he's fucking retarded.

Can't you read?

The only one of the players above I'd advocate signing for more than two years is Sanchez

Seriously, Al's plan is to sign Anibal Sanchez, Ervin Santana, Kevin Youkilis and Shane Victorino...then PROFIT!

And it appears most of this plan hinges on the willingness of these older players to take 2 year contracts (or less) and not regress with age or get injured.  

Oh, and Shawn Camp will have to be able to get people out.

I haven't seen a plan this foolproof since Gary Gaetti was resigned.  Somewhere, Andy MacPhail is reading this article and nodding to himself.

[Tonker]

Al misses a point like almost no other, but he's really excelled himself this time.  Hey everybody!  You know that long-term plan to turn the Cubs into a perennial contender?  Let's set that back two or three years so that we can give them a tiny chance to get swept in the DCS by Washington!

What a fucking numpty.

[Yeti]

When Ervin Santana has a 73 OPS+ last year, you gotta get that guy

[BH]

When Ervin Santana has a 73 OPS+ last year, you gotta get that guy

Ervin Santana was good before last year, isn't old and is probably worth the risk. But i'd assume he'd still be pretty expensive.

[Tonker]

When Ervin Santana has a 73 OPS+ last year, you gotta get that guy

Ervin Santana was good before last year, isn't old and is probably worth the risk. But i'd assume he'd still be pretty expensive.

Quite.  Yetti, you're missing the point.  It's not a question of how he's going to perform, it's a question of what he will cost.  If the Cubs wanted to sign Santana in a year's time to make a proper run at 2014, I wouldn't have a problem with it per se.  Signing him - or anyone that makes more than major league minimum, frankly - for 2013, though, would be completely fucking pointless.

[Saul Goodman]

When Ervin Santana has a 73 OPS+ last year, you gotta get that guy

Pretty damn good for a pitcher. In the American League even. I think Al's right, they need another Carlos Zambrano type to surprise teams at the plate.

[CT III]

I'm really trying to just let this whole thing go, but after reading Al's tripe I can't unread it.  He's such a goddamn train wreck.

I guess the good news for Bud Selig is that his new Wild Card format is working - Al apparently thinks that because 4 .500 teams competed for Wild Card spots at the end of the year (although none made it) that .500 or bust should be the goal.

Then there's Al's other inspiration:

For example, look at the Oakland Athletics' playoff roster and the following players, all of whom were acquired by Billy Beane after the end of the 2011 season: Tom Milone, Pat Neshek, Jarrod Parker, George Kottaras, Derek Norris, Stephen Drew, Brandon Moss, Yoenis Cespedes, Jonny Gomes, Josh Reddick and Seth Smith.

With the possible exception of Cespedes -- and the Cubs bid on him too -- could you have honestly said that any of those players would have been key contributors to a 2012 playoff team, if you had been asked a year ago? The answer to that is "No way." But there they are, part of a 94-win team. And many of those players were acquired when Oakland traded away their best pitcher from last year, Gio Gonzalez, and their closer, Andrew Bailey.

So Al's dumbass plan is to emulate the results of the Oakland A's (a 20 win improvement year over year) but he never even suggests following the method they used (trading Garza and Marmol)?!?

Forget it CT, it's Yellontown

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm really trying to just let this whole thing go, but after reading Al's tripe I can't unread it.  He's such a goddamn train wreck.

I guess the good news for Bud Selig is that his new Wild Card format is working - Al apparently thinks that because 4 .500 teams competed for Wild Card spots at the end of the year (although none made it) that .500 or bust should be the goal.

Then there's Al's other inspiration:

For example, look at the Oakland Athletics' playoff roster and the following players, all of whom were acquired by Billy Beane after the end of the 2011 season: Tom Milone, Pat Neshek, Jarrod Parker, George Kottaras, Derek Norris, Stephen Drew, Brandon Moss, Yoenis Cespedes, Jonny Gomes, Josh Reddick and Seth Smith.

With the possible exception of Cespedes -- and the Cubs bid on him too -- could you have honestly said that any of those players would have been key contributors to a 2012 playoff team, if you had been asked a year ago? The answer to that is "No way." But there they are, part of a 94-win team. And many of those players were acquired when Oakland traded away their best pitcher from last year, Gio Gonzalez, and their closer, Andrew Bailey.

So Al's dumbass plan is to emulate the results of the Oakland A's (a 20 win improvement year over year) but he never even suggests following the method they used (trading Garza and Marmol)?!?

Forget it CT, it's Yellontown

...could you have honestly said that any of those players would have been key contributors to a 2012 playoff team, if you had been asked a year ago? The answer to that is "No way."

So his gloss on the A's strategy more or less boils down to "sign a bunch of guys no one thinks will get you to the playoffs and see how it plays out"?

This is giving me brain damage.

[Eli]

I'm really trying to just let this whole thing go, but after reading Al's tripe I can't unread it.  He's such a goddamn train wreck.

With the possible exception of Cespedes -- and the Cubs bid on him too -- could you have honestly said that any of those players would have been key contributors to a 2012 playoff team, if you had been asked a year ago? The answer to that is "No way." But there they are, part of a 94-win team. And many of those players were acquired when Oakland traded away their best pitcher from last year, Gio Gonzalez, and their closer, Andrew Bailey.

So Al's dumbass plan is to emulate the results of the Oakland A's (a 20 win improvement year over year) but he never even suggests following the method they used (trading Garza and Marmol)?!?

That's pretty amazing.

"Don't just give up before the season starts! Be like the A's, who kind of gave up before the season started!"

[Slaky]

I'm really trying to just let this whole thing go, but after reading Al's tripe I can't unread it.  He's such a goddamn train wreck.

With the possible exception of Cespedes -- and the Cubs bid on him too -- could you have honestly said that any of those players would have been key contributors to a 2012 playoff team, if you had been asked a year ago? The answer to that is "No way." But there they are, part of a 94-win team. And many of those players were acquired when Oakland traded away their best pitcher from last year, Gio Gonzalez, and their closer, Andrew Bailey.

So Al's dumbass plan is to emulate the results of the Oakland A's (a 20 win improvement year over year) but he never even suggests following the method they used (trading Garza and Marmol)?!?

That's pretty amazing.

"Don't just give up before the season starts! Be like the A's, who kind of gave up before the season started!"

Just be like the A's who stockpiled an amazing array of quality arms over a few seasons but do it in one offseason magically I guess!

[Armchair_QB]

I'm breathlessly awaiting Al's next post on Part 2 of his Cubs Take The Wildcard In 2013 Plan.

I'm guessing it revolves around him petitioning Bud Selig to let the Cubs play Houston and Seattle 40 times each next season.

[Internet Apex]

I can't wait for the 2013 baseball season to end.