Pollyellon banned me

[Slaky]

HOW MANY MORE TEARS, THEO?

JESUS CHRIST

[ChuckD]

HOW MANY MORE TEARS, THEO?

God dammit. That's like four minutes and 50 brain cells -- I'm ever going to get those back. HOW MANY MORE GOD DAMN BRAIN CELLS AND MINUTES, AL?

[BH]

HOW MANY MORE TEARS, THEO?

JESUS CHRIST

This cutting edge detailed analysis is missing on this site.

"It's my theory, and I'll stick with it.
Fangraphs doesn't exactly chart this kind of stuff. But it's what I've seen watching this team for 25 years. When something bad happens — Bartman — the players start playing tight, leading to MORE bad things.

Anyway, it's not a single data point. It happened in 2007, after Marmol gave up the lead in Game 1. It happened in 2008, after Dempster gave up the granny, etc., etc.

by elgato on Jun 17, 2013 | 11:59 AM up reply"

[Quality Start Machine]

HOW MANY MORE TEARS, THEO?

JESUS CHRIST

Holy shit, he name-checked Jerry Pritikin. My bitch.

[Saul Goodman]

HOW MANY MORE TEARS, THEO?

What I am suggesting is that the Cubs identify, this coming offseason, a couple of players to fill needed holes either by trade or by mid-range free agency, and go and sign them with the intention of beginning to contend in 2014. Then you can sprinkle in some of those younger players and let them grow up with the team, rather than expect them to magically sprout into All-Stars when they hit the big-league level. That would be nice, but you can't count on it.

Wow, that's ingenious. I sure hope Epstink reads THI

I'm not about to scroll down and look for list of fucksticks that Al deems useful but I'm guessing he has one that he likes and when Epstink signs whoever the hell, Al will bitch and bitch and bitch and somebody will link it here. I feel like a fucking wizard I see the future so clearly.

Jeremy Hermida, probably. He had a hard-on for him for years. THEY'D BE WINNING NOW IF THEY HAD HIM!

Also I was going to quote that exact same paragraph. Isn't signing guys like ... Paul Maholm, David DeJesus, Scott Feldman, Carlos Villanueva, Nate Schierholtz, and so on to fill temporary holes who can then be flipped for more value exactly the kind of net talent gain that helps the team start contending? Obviously Al has chosen to forget how well his brilliant theory worked for Ed Lynch and Jim Hendry. Al being impatient with the rebuild (after basically taking the opposite position at first) is the least surprising something since something something Marmol blowing a game. Also gotta love that he's planning a huge celebration of the anniversary when Al Yellon entered Wrigley Field for the first time. Fishing for adoring comments = A Chicago Cubs Community.

BREAKING: MINOR LEAGUE PROSPECTS DON'T WORK OUT SOMETIMES. Al should ask the Kyardnals how investing in minor league prospects has worked out for them.

[CT III]

Also gotta love that he's planning a huge celebration of the anniversary when Al Yellon entered Wrigley Field for the first time. Fishing for adoring comments = A Chicago Cubs Community.

Holy crap, I missed that when skimming over this turd.  I love the way he's keeping everyone in suspense:

As I have written here before -- and you'll find out soon exactly when this is -- upcoming later this summer is the 50th anniversary of the very first time I set foot in Wrigley Field.

OH MY GOD IT'S ALMOST HERE!!!

Al should go back to writing about his first love, hockey.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

This type of thinking has been pervasive since WWII and is precisely the kind of mindset that Epstein & Co. are trying to eradicate.  Nice to see Our Favorite Fuckbucket hopelessly (and predictably) resort to this default position.  I wish someone would smash him over the head with a nacho helmet.

[CBStew]

"The idea for this article began as the Cubs appeared to be sailing along to a 3-0 win over the Mets Sunday afternoon. It would have been their fourth win in a row and moved them to nine games under .500."

OMG!!!!!!!!  The Cubs could have been nine games under .500!!!   Do you realize how close that is to being eight games under .500?

[CBStew]

"As I have written here before -- and you'll find out soon exactly when this is -- upcoming later this summer is the 50th anniversary of the very first time I set foot in Wrigley Field. I started following the team intently, as intently as a kid can, and the blossoming of the late-1960s teams that never won anything but live on in our hearts coincided with the years that kids are the most interested in baseball, before the teen years intervene."

Those two sentences are sheer poetry.  The fact that I don't understand them is probably my fault.  But there is a lot in Shakespeare that goes over my head as well.

[Quality Start Machine]

"As I have written here before -- and you'll find out soon exactly when this is -- upcoming later this summer is the 50th anniversary of the very first time I set foot in Wrigley Field. I started following the team intently, as intently as a kid can, and the blossoming of the late-1960s teams that never won anything but live on in our hearts coincided with the years that kids are the most interested in baseball, before the teen years intervene."

Those two sentences are sheer poetry.  The fact that I don't understand them is probably my fault.  But there is a lot in Shakespeare that goes over my head as well.

I'm just going to go ahead and envision this being written in a windowless van.

[Slaky]

I'm extremely annoyed by this entire thing. Al even tried to rationalize this bullshit by saying he dreamed up this piece of shit when the Cubs were winning so people couldn't call it reactionary horseshit. As if it wasn't still horseshit.

Seriously this has almost ruined my whole day.

[PenFoe]

I'm extremely annoyed by this entire thing. Al even tried to rationalize this bullshit by saying he dreamed up this piece of shit when the Cubs were winning so people couldn't call it reactionary horseshit. As if it wasn't still horseshit.

Seriously this has almost ruined my whole day.

I have a really hard time believing that you finding something you can hate with all your heart has done anything but fuel your day.

[Slaky]

I'm extremely annoyed by this entire thing. Al even tried to rationalize this bullshit by saying he dreamed up this piece of shit when the Cubs were winning so people couldn't call it reactionary horseshit. As if it wasn't still horseshit.

Seriously this has almost ruined my whole day.

I have a really hard time believing that you finding something you can hate with all your heart has done anything but fuel your day.

Fueled it right down the shitter

[Saul Goodman]

You think trading guys that aren't going to be on this team past this year is a mistake?
Sorry, if that's the case, there's no point in talking to you about this anymore. What possible justification can you give for keeping guys that are FAs after this year on the team?

And how many more years of this is simple: When the Cubs have enough cheap talent that they can supplement holes with FAs is how many more years of this we'll have.

Why would it matter if the Cubs lost 95 games instead of 93 games? There is no guarantee of the future, but there is putting yourself in the best possible position for the future. The Cubs are doing that.

Are they?

How many of these prospects will succeed? I gave many examples of prospects just like the ones the Cubs have now that have failed.

If not all prospects succeed, then one could increase his chances of hitting the jackpot by trading short term assets to acquire as many prospects as possible.  The more prospects you have, the better the chances of finding success.  Yet Al wants fewer prospects because winning 75 games instead of 60 makes the bologna taste better in the left field bleachers.  Ladies and gentlemen, the official Voice of the Cubs Fan.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm extremely annoyed by this entire thing. Al even tried to rationalize this bullshit by saying he dreamed up this piece of shit when the Cubs were winning so people couldn't call it reactionary horseshit. As if it wasn't still horseshit.

Seriously this has almost ruined my whole day.

I have a really hard time believing that you finding something you can hate with all your heart has done anything but fuel your day.

Fueled it right down the shitter

The Stanley Cup Final is one of those times you need Slak's hate to have laser focus.