Pollyellon banned me

[Tony]

Was not aware of the earring. Makes me feel confused. Going to think about this some more.

I thought the only dude still wearing an earring was Harrison Ford. And even Hand Solo can't pull it off.

"Hand Solo" describes Al's sex life.

You're welcome, Fork.

[Quality Start Machine]

Was not aware of the earring. Makes me feel confused. Going to think about this some more.

I thought the only dude still wearing an earring was Harrison Ford. And even Hand Solo can't pull it off.

"Hand Solo" describes Al's sex life.

You're welcome, Fork.

You passed it with an empty net.

Jesus, Alvin is gobshite.

[Saul Goodman]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

[Yeti]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

Kerm and Andy can't even be bothered to write for their original sites. What makes you think they won't turn BCB into BGP?

[Saul Goodman]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

Kerm and Andy can't even be bothered to write for their original sites. What makes you think they won't turn BCB into BGP?

Less time on the podcast, more time on the intarwebs word machine.  I can dream.

[Eli]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

[Saul Goodman]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

Hey now.  He said "ALMOST" literally no downside, which, besides being a wonderfully constructed phrase, is his trademark opening to disclaim this later if convenient.  That's the key to never being wrong about your milquetoast opinions.  Always Be Hedging.  Brett is good at it too, which sometimes requires inserting context retroactively:

“I don’t expect that it will be a top prospect – or even someone in the Nats’ top 30…”

“As I’d guessed, the Cubs are getting a prospect that looks to be in the 20 to 30 range in the Nationals’ system…”

Hmmm did you guess that?

Haste. Sorry. My gut was that I’d originally said “back-end of the top 30 at best.”

[Chuck to Chuck]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

@bleedcubbieblue I repeat: what kids? Which one, specifically, should replace Hairston?

@JulieDiCaro Junior Lake RT

@bleedcubbieblue  actually, that's not a bad idea. Could go for that.

[Eli]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

@bleedcubbieblue I repeat: what kids? Which one, specifically, should replace Hairston?

@JulieDiCaro Junior Lake RT

@bleedcubbieblue  actually, that's not a bad idea. Could go for that.

Well there we go.

[Quality Start Machine]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

@bleedcubbieblue I repeat: what kids? Which one, specifically, should replace Hairston?

@JulieDiCaro Junior Lake RT

@bleedcubbieblue  actually, that's not a bad idea. Could go for that.

Well there we go.

Only because Al's trying to work his way out of Hand Solo.

[Chuck to Chuck]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

@bleedcubbieblue I repeat: what kids? Which one, specifically, should replace Hairston?

@JulieDiCaro Junior Lake RT

@bleedcubbieblue  actually, that's not a bad idea. Could go for that.

Well there we go.

Only because Al's trying to work his way out of Hand Solo.

[Saul Goodman]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

@bleedcubbieblue I repeat: what kids? Which one, specifically, should replace Hairston?

@JulieDiCaro Junior Lake RT

@bleedcubbieblue  actually, that's not a bad idea. Could go for that.

Well there we go.

@juliedicaro @BleacherNation @harrypav What kids, exactly? Who's in the system ready to recall for "a chance"? Name someone.

This is all a little too intense for the sixth outfielder's spot on a next-to-last place team.

[CT III]

No, they shouldn't.

Jeff Francoeur is Not a Prospect, therefore Al wants him.  And he's not talking about rebuilding value for a trade either:

To me, it's a no-brainer. Try him out. If he's still bad after a few weeks of platooning, just release him. If he can perform well enough in that platoon role, he's just 29 and could be a useful spare part for the next couple of years. There's almost literally no downside to giving him a shot.

"just 29" lol k.  Those are the choices.  Release him if he's worthless, or let him keep a roster spot warm for the next two years (which would require signing him to a new contract) if he isn't.  Andy and Kerm, take over BCB already.

I know it's Al and pointing out flaws in his thinking is a waste of time, but there isn't "literally no downside." There are roster implications, missed opportunities for young guys (Junior Lake, perhaps?) and other things that actually matter. Major League rosters aren't like rec softball leagues where someone can just show up and fill in for a while.

Again, I'm having a one-sided argument with a moron here, so whatever.

Hey now.  He said "ALMOST" literally no downside, which, besides being a wonderfully constructed phrase, is his trademark opening to disclaim this later if convenient.  That's the key to never being wrong about your milquetoast opinions.  Always Be Hedging.  Brett is good at it too, which sometimes requires inserting context retroactively:

"I don't expect that it will be a top prospect – or even someone in the Nats' top 30..."

"As I'd guessed, the Cubs are getting a prospect that looks to be in the 20 to 30 range in the Nationals' system..."

Hmmm did you guess that?

Haste. Sorry. My gut was that I'd originally said "back-end of the top 30 at best."

Fuck.

FUCK.

Jeff Francoeur?  JEFF FRANCOEUR?!?  Of all the washed up shitheads that are on the street for the Cubs to sign so that Al can buy a shirsey with a name on the back that people recognize he wants them to sign JEFF FUCKING FANCOEUR?!?!?!?

I mean fuck.  Even when Francoeur was good he was bad.  And now that he's 29 and in decline (from not being that good to begin with) and he's pretty much the antithesis of the type of player Epstein and Hoyer have said they want to acquire AL FUCKING YELLON who runs THE MOST POPULAR CUBS WEBSITE ON THE GODDAMNED INTERNET wants to sign this asshole?!?  Because he wants to say nice things to Francouer when he's falling down in the leftfield so he can feel good when his friend Jeff takes out the inevitable "THANK YOU CUBBEEZ FANZ" ad in the Chicago Tribune at the end of the season?

Fuck.

[Eli]

Fuck.

FUCK.

Jeff Francoeur?  JEFF FRANCOEUR?!?  Of all the washed up shitheads that are on the street for the Cubs to sign so that Al can buy a shirsey with a name on the back that people recognize he wants them to sign JEFF FUCKING FANCOEUR?!?!?!?

I mean fuck.  Even when Francoeur was good he was bad.  And now that he's 29 and in decline (from not being that good to begin with) and he's pretty much the antithesis of the type of player Epstein and Hoyer have said they want to acquire AL FUCKING YELLON who runs THE MOST POPULAR CUBS WEBSITE ON THE GODDAMNED INTERNET wants to sign this asshole?!?  Because he wants to say nice things to Francouer when he's falling down in the leftfield so he can feel good when his friend Jeff takes out the inevitable "THANK YOU CUBBEEZ FANZ" ad in the Chicago Tribune at the end of the season?

Fuck.

Awesome.

[Slaky]

That was great CT.