Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Kerm]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

When LoneStar tells you to keep things in perspective, it's probably time to take stock of your life.

[theoneandonlyjim]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

I don't know what's worse, PPE's hyperreactive ledge jumping or your constant bullying assholism towards people you don't agree with.  You must be a fucking peach to be around.

[Mike Douche]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

I don't know what's worse, PPE's hyperreactive ledge jumping or your constant bullying assholism towards people you don't agree with.  You must be a fucking peach to be around.

Oh I am.  Ask my probation officer.

[Oleg]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

In addition to that, I don't think the players care that much about the regular season anymore.  It is approaching fait accompli status with regards to the division.  Their minds are elsewhere.

Plus, there was bound to be added pressure on Z coming off the no-no.

I still remain comfortably perched inside my apartment.  In fact the window is closed, the blinds are drawn, and the ledge is out of view.

You really ought to get out and get some sun. It's not healthy to sit around in a dark apartment mother's basement like that.

We all know that's what Gil really meant by apartment'd.

[Quality Start Machine]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

I don't know what's worse, PPE's hyperreactive ledge jumping or your constant bullying assholism towards people you don't agree with.  You must be a fucking peach to be around.

He's a fucking dick. That's why he fits in so well with the rest of us.

[Gil Gunderson]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

In addition to that, I don't think the players care that much about the regular season anymore.  It is approaching fait accompli status with regards to the division.  Their minds are elsewhere.

Plus, there was bound to be added pressure on Z coming off the no-no.

I still remain comfortably perched inside my apartment.  In fact the window is closed, the blinds are drawn, and the ledge is out of view.

You really ought to get out and get some sun. It's not healthy to sit around in a dark apartment mother's basement like that.

We all know that's what Gil really meant by apartment'd.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

To clarify, how about "shithole Pissburgh apartment?"

[Kerm]

Bwuce Levine said that Z had to fly down to Venezuela Wednesday for his grandmother's funeral, and didn't get back in until late last night.  Apparently, his legs were pretty cramped from the flight, which helps explain some of the debacle of his start.  It DOESN'T explain why Marshall didn't just take the start (although maybe Z forced Lou to start him).

[Al Czervik]

Bwuce Levine said that Z had to fly down to Venezuela Wednesday for his grandmother's funeral, and didn't get back in until late last night.  Apparently, his legs were pretty cramped from the flight, which helps explain some of the debacle of his start.  It DOESN'T explain why Marshall didn't just take the start (although maybe Z forced Lou to start him).

Was Z flying coach?  Big guy should be flying on someone's jet.  Doesn't someone have a private jet for the kid?  John Cusack?  Eddie Vedder?  Mark Cuban? 

Marshall should have been given the start.  The result may have been the same minus the aggravation.

[Mike Douche]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

I don't know what's worse, PPE's hyperreactive ledge jumping or your constant bullying assholism towards people you don't agree with.  You must be a fucking peach to be around.

Upon some reflection--and a few cold ones--I take exception to the fact that I disagreed with PPE.  As far as his central point goes, I've been as critical of Z as anyone.
 
The issue is not that I disagree with PPE.  I'm just annoyed by his petulant, impulsive manner in which he delivers it.  I know.  I know--that's PPE's schtick.  Him and I go back to the beginning of this messageboard and he's made me laugh on many occassions.  All the more reason for me to be kind of taken aback by his sudden sensitivity to my ball-busting.  One would think a guy who talks as much as shit as he does wouldn't be bothered by my "bullying" as you put it.

I'll shut the fuck up now, I promise.

[Andy]

Ladies, take it outside.

[TJ]

Z might have looked terrible earlier today, but this 10 pm start really suits him well.  He's retired the first 6 batters he's faced.

[powen01]

Z might have looked terrible earlier today, but this 10 pm start really suits him well.  He's retired the first 6 batters he's faced.

He's mowing bitches down.  I wonder what would have happened if this game were being played in Houston?

[CT II]

Z might have looked terrible earlier today, but this 10 pm start really suits him well.  He's retired the first 6 batters he's faced.

He's mowing bitches down.  I wonder what would have happened if this game were being played in Houston?

Double no-hitter.

With no power, the visibility would have been at an all-time low.

[Waco Kid]

Z might have looked terrible earlier today, but this 10 pm start really suits him well.  He's retired the first 6 batters he's faced.

He's mowing bitches down.  I wonder what would have happened if this game were being played in Houston?

It would have been if Bud wasn't such an Astros and America hater.

[Internet Apex]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

You have a mental illness and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

"ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!"