Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Thrillho]

The only way this could be better is for one of the Brewers to call home to say goodnight to his wife, only to have Henry Blanco answer the phone.

The above message is extremely great.

Is it OK if I use it as my 'signature'?

In fact, can we ALL use it?  Hell, let's make it a policy that we all make it our signature.

Andy, save us all the trouble, and tell ur tech staff to add this to our profiles somehow?  Thanks, man.

I don't know if it's that good.

Hey.  Captain Killjoy?  Go kill a buzz soemwhere else!

I'm only filling my job description.

Quiet, Eli, or I'll bust you down to captain so fast it'll make your hat spin.

[Gil Gunderson]

The only way this could be better is for one of the Brewers to call home to say goodnight to his wife, only to have Henry Blanco answer the phone.

The above message is extremely great.

Is it OK if I use it as my 'signature'?

In fact, can we ALL use it?  Hell, let's make it a policy that we all make it our signature.

Andy, save us all the trouble, and tell ur tech staff to add this to our profiles somehow?  Thanks, man.

I don't know if it's that good.

Hey.  Captain Killjoy?  Go kill a buzz soemwhere else!

I'm only filling my job description.

Quiet, Eli, or I'll bust you down to captain so fast it'll make your hat spin.

Chief, I already am a captain.

[Pre]

Word on the street is WGN will be replaying Z's no hitter friday night.  I will have the DVR going for sure.

[TDubbs]

Word on the street is WGN will be replaying Z's no hitter friday night.  I will have the DVR going for sure.

Thanks for the update Pre.

[Wampa]

Word on the street is WGN will be replaying Z's no hitter friday night.  I will have the DVR going for sure.

Thanks for the update Pre.

Friday night @ 10P

[The Paul Popovich Experience]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

[Mike Douche]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

You have a mental illness and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck.  Seriously.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

[Gil Gunderson]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

In addition to that, I don't think the players care that much about the regular season anymore.  It is approaching fait accompli status with regards to the division.  Their minds are elsewhere.

Plus, there was bound to be added pressure on Z coming off the no-no.

I still remain comfortably perched inside my apartment.  In fact the window is closed, the blinds are drawn, and the ledge is out of view.

[PenFoe]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Maybe I don't understand what all or nothing means, but I don't think it means 32-18 with a 3.70 ERA, a .235 BAA and a 1.30 WHIP

Maybe I'm just an idiot though.

Oh no wait...that's you.

[Mike Douche]

I still remain comfortably perched inside my apartment.  In fact the window is closed, the blinds are drawn, and the ledge is out of view.

I haven't been on the ledge all season.  The only time I even thought about gazing toward the window was during that late July series against Florida.  Milwaukee had tied the Cubs, and were winning their Sunday game while the Cubs were down five zip to Florida.  The Cubs came back to win, Milwaukee spit the bit, and then the Cubs swept the Brewers.  I believe Andy wrote a Dose about this back when it happened.  No really.

Since then, I've been fartin' in silk, without a care in the world, just waiting for October.  You "gutless cocksucker" types are a rather sorry bunch.

[The Paul Popovich Experience]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

You have a mental illness and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

[Mike Douche]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

You have a mental illness and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

[Al Czervik]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

You have a mental illness and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck.  Seriously.

Goddammit, what is your fucking problem, bitch? Enough is enough, you feel the need to attack people on this site due to some fucking agenda or whatever, most people came here to talk about, rave about, and yes, bitch about, the Cubs. I don't come here to get attacked with every damn post I make from some fuckhead with a Cardinals logo for god's sake.

Where did I say anything about some fucking pussy named "Mike D" in my post? But that's OK, you can begin ranting on someone without provocation, and I'm sure some of your like-minded little bitches can be nice and smarmy and jump in, too.

You want to play personal games, fine, that's what the other thread is for. Otherwise, keep it out of other threads on a CUBS FAN SITE, is that so damn hard for you? ASSHOLE.

Your idiocy makes my brain melt and that upsets me.

Just thought I should say something.

You can't BOTH show up at the Desipio Christmas party now.  It'd be too awkward.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Now you know why Zambrano doesn't merit a splooge thread; because half the time, he deserves a fuck-you thread, instead. Z has become an all-or-nothing guy the last two years, he might be the highest variance SP in the league.

I don't trust that consistency at all in a short series, I hope Lou makes Dempster his #1 for the playoffs, Demp has been the most consistent starter this season.

Relax. It's just one game.

In addition to that, I don't think the players care that much about the regular season anymore.  It is approaching fait accompli status with regards to the division.  Their minds are elsewhere.

Plus, there was bound to be added pressure on Z coming off the no-no.

I still remain comfortably perched inside my apartment.  In fact the window is closed, the blinds are drawn, and the ledge is out of view.

You really ought to get out and get some sun. It's not healthy to sit around in a dark apartment like that.