Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[CT III]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

[Internet Apex]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

You can't do that because I already won the thread. But the fact that Mark Prior no longer pitches in the major leagues and Carlos Zambrano does quite effectively for long stretches makes me really confused about what you even mean.

[Powdered Toast Man]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

Comparing the time Prior missed to the time Zambrano missed is kind of dumb, right?

[CT III]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

Comparing the time Prior missed to the time Zambrano missed is kind of dumb, right?

I don't even know what I'm comparing anymore.  I just wanted to build an Apex-style strawman.  Oh well.

[Bort]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

Comparing the time Prior missed to the time Zambrano missed is kind of dumb, right?

I don't even know what I'm comparing anymore.  I just wanted to build an Apex-style strawman.  Oh well.

I declare myself the winner of this thread.

[BH]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

Comparing the time Prior missed to the time Zambrano missed is kind of dumb, right?

I don't even know what I'm comparing anymore.  I just wanted to build an Apex-style strawman.  Oh well.

I declare myself the winner of this thread.

I think Apex is saying that any fan of his 2011 kubbeez wins, since they are playoff and world series bound with Z leading the way.

[Powdered Toast Man]

If they are able to deal that contract for young(er), cheap(er) talent that makes the team better and frees budget to improve it some more, I'd be conflicted but I'd get over it. However, if they simply cave to the meatheads and deal him for other bad contracts that do nothing of the sort, well fuck all. And what makes anybody believe they can deal that contract for anything other than old, expensive flotsam? Who's really fucking bonkers here - besides Z?

You're probably right.

(wins thread)

In conclusion, Apex's stance is:

Mark Prior - misses a bunch of games with actual arm and shoulder injuries - TOTAL FUCKING PUSSY WHO BETRAYED MY CUBBIES

Carlos Zambrano - misses a bunch of games because he threw a tempter tantrum - Z's BACK AND IT'S ALL DOUBLE RAINBOWS FROM HERE ON OUT!

Comparing the time Prior missed to the time Zambrano missed is kind of dumb, right?

I don't even know what I'm comparing anymore.  I just wanted to build an Apex-style strawman.  Oh well.

I declare myself the winner of this thread.

I think Apex is saying that any fan of his 2011 kubbeez wins, since they are playoff and world series bound with Z leading the way.

All aboard Murton's unicorn!

[Brownie]

If Mark Prior never got injured and pitched like it was September 2003 everyday for the rest of his life, Dusty Baker would still be the Cubs' manager and Lou Piniella would be Dick Stockton's partner in the booth during the Cubs' 2007, 2008 and 2009 National League playoff runs.

[Internet Apex]

If Mark Prior never got injured and pitched like it was September 2003 Carlos Zambrano everyday for the rest of his life, Dusty Baker would still be the Cubs' manager and Lou Piniella would be Dick Stockton's partner in the booth during the Cubs' 2007, 2008 and 2009 National League playoff runs.

Sack'd up.

[CT III]

If Mark Prior never got injured and pitched like it was September 2003 Carlos Zambrano everyday for the rest of his life, Dusty Baker would still be the Cubs' manager and Lou Piniella would be Dick Stockton's partner in the booth during the Cubs' 2007, 2008 and 2009 National League playoff runs.

Sack'd up.

Cutting through all the bullshit, I guess my only points were that my irrational man-love for Z is gone, and I don't give a tin shit if he gets traded in the offseason. 

[Internet Apex]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

[Bort]

If Mark Prior never got injured and pitched like it was September 2003 Carlos Zambrano everyday for the rest of his life, Dusty Baker would still be the Cubs' manager and Lou Piniella would be Dick Stockton's partner in the booth during the Cubs' 2007, 2008 and 2009 National League playoff runs.

Sack'd up.

Cutting through all the bullshit, I guess my only points were that my irrational man-love for Z is gone, and I don't give a tin shit if he gets traded in the offseason. 

If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!

[Powdered Toast Man]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

[Tonker]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Jeff Thomas likes this.

[Internet Apex]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!