Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Powdered Toast Man]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

[Internet Apex]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

[R-V]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

As godawful as the Cubs are, it's nice to be reminded every so often that they're not the Orioles.

[Internet Apex]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

As godawful as the Cubs are, it's nice to be reminded every so often that they're not the Orioles.

Yet.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

That might make me tear myself asunder.

[Tonker]

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

That might make me tear myself asunder.

Let's make it happen, guys.

[Bort]

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

That might make me tear myself asunder.

Let's make it happen, guys.

Right that wrong, God.

[Powdered Toast Man]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

Let's throw in Soriano and see if we can get Cesar Izturis and K-Patt as well.

As godawful as the Cubs are, it's nice to be reminded every so often that they're not the Orioles.

But the Orioles were once the Cubs...whoa.

[JD]

My only real points are that I love Carlos Zambrano for everything he's done for the Cubs. And I can't know right now what the Cubs will look like in 2011. But if anyone wants to ensure that they will suck as bad as you fear they will, they can start by trading Carlos Zambrano for whatever the market would be for a guy with his contract and mileage on his arm.

Brian Roberts?

Throw in Jay Kvox and it's a righted wrong AND a done deal!

Might as well get PA and Scott Moore back, too.

Impossible.  COBRA PIE is actually good.  Which I already knew.

[Internet Apex]

Bump.

You fucking turds.

Castro bumbles the 88 hopper from Fat Prince to cost Z the shutout. On his way of the mound Z pats the kid on the shoulder several times to tell him all is well. In addition to blanking the Brewers for 8.2 innings surrendering just 4 hits with 9 Ks, Big Z was 3-4 with a run and RBI. I just don't see why you'd trade him now when there is absolutely no way you'll get fair value in return. Anyone who thinks they should has a vagina.

[CT III]

Bump.

You fucking turds.

Castro bumbles the 88 hopper from Fat Prince to cost Z the shutout. On his way of the mound Z pats the kid on the shoulder several times to tell him all is well. In addition to blanking the Brewers for 8.2 innings surrendering just 4 hits with 9 Ks, Big Z was 3-4 with a run and RBI. I just don't see why you'd trade him now when there is absolutely no way you'll get fair value in return. Anyone who thinks they should has a vagina.

Glad he's pitching well, but I still ain't going to cry like a pussy if he gets traded.

[Internet Apex]

Bump.

You fucking turds.

Castro bumbles the 88 hopper from Fat Prince to cost Z the shutout. On his way of the mound Z pats the kid on the shoulder several times to tell him all is well. In addition to blanking the Brewers for 8.2 innings surrendering just 4 hits with 9 Ks, Big Z was 3-4 with a run and RBI. I just don't see why you'd trade him now when there is absolutely no way you'll get fair value in return. Anyone who thinks they should has a vagina.

Glad he's pitching well, but I still ain't going to cry like a pussy if he gets traded.

What if he gets traded for several pieces of shit? I won't cry but I will fucking rage. This team and its fans are turning more bitch-made every time I turn around. Heard Steve Stone saying they need to change the culture of the team starting with Z. Sure, dump the guy who actually showed up in the playoffs and was so sick of losing that went and lost his damn mind in the dugout. Replace him with Dandy Randy Wells. Yay. FUCK that.

[Yeti]

You know i love carlos. .i still have thogiht all thaiso shit  i walwyasl will. he is my favorithee plaeyrkl ont this taam right nnow. fuck atl those hwo hat ehome fuck yhou and hdnur mom too. he is fucking insiace and i lvoe it. ihi sera is below 4 now so fuck all you and he may get to 10 wins whichhkl is more than lkatst year and this ia a shitteir team and hes started for less of thdere year lou fas wrong for  putting hiom in the bullpen  i love loue but he fuc,iked that on eoup. carlos is a fuckcing stud. I iwill not listen to anyhthont that saysls otherwsie. i wsa happy he went so fucing far tongith and then i drank wihch is always good. bartendkelr had nice tists. you'd like em if you l say them. id' mortorboakrt them. built for speend defintiely. i wisht ehre were more hot chikskk out at the barstk htoguh. it's slimp pickens even thought the pickens aitn to slim. i gotta dspass outl. later fcukers. happy 9/12.s or sad whichefrer is gocl for em.s

[Gilgamesh]

You know i love carlos. .i still have thogiht all thaiso shit  i walwyasl will. he is my favorithee plaeyrkl ont this taam right nnow. fuck atl those hwo hat ehome fuck yhou and hdnur mom too. he is fucking insiace and i lvoe it. ihi sera is below 4 now so fuck all you and he may get to 10 wins whichhkl is more than lkatst year and this ia a shitteir team and hes started for less of thdere year lou fas wrong for  putting hiom in the bullpen  i love loue but he fuc,iked that on eoup. carlos is a fuckcing stud. I iwill not listen to anyhthont that saysls otherwsie. i wsa happy he went so fucing far tongith and then i drank wihch is always good. bartendkelr had nice tists. you'd like em if you l say them. id' mortorboakrt them. built for speend defintiely. i wisht ehre were more hot chikskk out at the barstk htoguh. it's slimp pickens even thought the pickens aitn to slim. i gotta dspass outl. later fcukers. happy 9/12.s or sad whichefrer is gocl for em.s

The summit of fake drunk posting has been reached. Congrats.

[Internet Apex]

And here is real drunk posting. Zambrano IZ the Cubs. He has always beeen and always will be. Trade him and you trad your soul. You try living with that. It's Z or Ryno. Take you rpic. Cunt.