Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Eli]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

[BH]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

Then we take that money and invest it all in a good bullpen arm. Or a second baseman. Profit.

[SKO]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

[Yeti]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

You should probably read through what you write before you actually post it, Yeti.  This is pretty fucking ghey.

Reading is for losers and europeans.

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How many years left on it? I suppose when I think about it going forward, zambrano probably won't factor in to the 2014 WS run so doing this will help make that happen. I should just sever ties with Zambrano now and hate him like the rest of the Cub fans. Probably make my life easier

[CBStew]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

You should probably read through what you write before you actually post it, Yeti.  This is pretty fucking ghey.

Reading is for losers and europeans.

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How many years left on it? I suppose when I think about it going forward, zambrano probably won't factor in to the 2014 WS run so doing this will help make that happen. I should just sever ties with Zambrano now and hate him like the rest of the Cub fans. Probably make my life easier

Wait, wait.   What?  The 2014 World Series  run?  Why is this the first that I am hearing about it?

[CT III]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

You should probably read through what you write before you actually post it, Yeti.  This is pretty fucking ghey.

Reading is for losers and europeans.

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How many years left on it? I suppose when I think about it going forward, zambrano probably won't factor in to the 2014 WS run so doing this will help make that happen. I should just sever ties with Zambrano now and hate him like the rest of the Cub fans. Probably make my life easier

Wait, wait.   What?  The 2014 World Series  run?  Why is this the first that I am hearing about it?

We didn't want you to get overexcited.

[Bort]

First Wood, now Prior and Zambrano? Are the Yankees just trying to bottle that 2003 magic?

[Eli]

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How many years left on it?

Two years, $36 million.  It vests for 2013 at $19 million if he finishes top-2 in the 2011 Cy Young voting or top-4 in the 2012 Cy Young voting.

So, two years, $36 million.

[Internet Apex]

Cliff Lee to Phils.
Zambrano to Yankees?
Profit????

If the Cubs can drain the Yanks' farm system, they should go for it. Maybe they should also give Cashman the opportunity to RIGHT THAT WRONG and bring back Soriano.

If the Yankees re-sign Kerry Wood, 16% of the Cubs 2002 active roster (plus Larry Rothschild) could be in uniform at Yankee Stadium Opening Day. Should the Cubs have just held out eight years with this bunch?

Am I high or did that Daily News article sport a headline stating that Cashman will likely target Carlos Zambrano with no mention of Z in the body whatsoever?

[Bort]

Cliff Lee to Phils.
Zambrano to Yankees?
Profit????

If the Cubs can drain the Yanks' farm system, they should go for it. Maybe they should also give Cashman the opportunity to RIGHT THAT WRONG and bring back Soriano.

If the Yankees re-sign Kerry Wood, 16% of the Cubs 2002 active roster (plus Larry Rothschild) could be in uniform at Yankee Stadium Opening Day. Should the Cubs have just held out eight years with this bunch?

Am I high or did that Daily News article sport a headline stating that Cashman will likely target Carlos Zambrano with no mention of Z in the body whatsoever?

Second page.

[Brownie]

First Wood, now Prior and Zambrano? Are the Yankees just trying to bottle that 2003 magic?

If the Yankees re-sign Kerry Wood, 16% of the Cubs 2002 active roster (plus Larry Rothschild) could be in uniform at Yankee Stadium Opening Day. Should the Cubs have just held out eight years with this bunch?

I believe it's the 2002 magic they're bottling. Corey Patterson, Mark Bellhorn, Bill Mueller, Todd Hundley and Jeff Fassero can all be had for a reasonable price. It'll be tricky getting the Gladiator and Fred McGriff signed, however. I wish Brian Cashman and Hank Steinbrenner the best of luck in this endeavor.

[Internet Apex]

Cliff Lee to Phils.
Zambrano to Yankees?
Profit????

If the Cubs can drain the Yanks' farm system, they should go for it. Maybe they should also give Cashman the opportunity to RIGHT THAT WRONG and bring back Soriano.

If the Yankees re-sign Kerry Wood, 16% of the Cubs 2002 active roster (plus Larry Rothschild) could be in uniform at Yankee Stadium Opening Day. Should the Cubs have just held out eight years with this bunch?

Am I high or did that Daily News article sport a headline stating that Cashman will likely target Carlos Zambrano with no mention of Z in the body whatsoever?

Second page.

*cough cough* Thanks.

[Slaky]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on.

[R-V]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

[Brownie]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Some awesome pastry tables at HoHoKam Park.