The Atheist Communist Caliphate Made Flesh, Spread the Clusterfuck Around Thread

[CBStew]

Last week's Sports Illustrated, in a brilliant move to stay relevant, analyzed Obama from the aspect of his love of basketball.  It appears that he regularly plays with some of his buddies.  Oddly, many of his advisors and cabinet members have basketball in their backgrounds.  This may be my last chance to break into big time politics.  I hate basketball.  I am no good at it.  I have no physical attributes necessary for basketball.  I am short.  I am slow.  I am old.  I bet I would really make him look great on the court.  If any of you Chicagoans have access, Let him know that I can put together my version of the Washington Generals to play against his squad on a daily basis.

[Internet Apex]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

[Gil Gunderson]

Here's my question, who screwed up first on the Oath: President Obama or Chief Justice Roberts?

I also seem to remember hearing Justice Stevens screwing up a bit with Biden's oath as well.

[Eli]

Here's my question, who screwed up first on the Oath: President Obama or Chief Justice Roberts?

Obama started repeating his first line before Roberts was done, but Roberts screwed up the second line.

[CT II]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

[Internet Apex]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

[Gil Gunderson]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

[Internet Apex]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

Teddy landed on him.

[MidgetSellingWater]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

Teddy landed on him.

That, and he's really, really old.  These things happen to old guys from time to time.  This should serve as a lesson to all old guys --- always be on the lookout for drunken, bloated, falling, irishmen.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

Here's my question, who screwed up first on the Oath: President Obama or Chief Justice Roberts?

Obama started repeating his first line before Roberts was done, but Roberts screwed up the second line.

Twice.

First he put the "faithfully" at the end.  The second time he left out the word "execute".

[CT II]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

What am I, a doctor?

[Internet Apex]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

Teddy landed on him.

That, and he's really, really old.  These things happen to old guys from time to time.  This should serve as a lesson to all old guys --- always be on the lookout for drunken, bloated, falling, irishmen.

OR: He woke up from his nap, realized he wasn't having a nightmare, indeed a Negro really had been sworn in as the POTUS and immediately swallowed his tongue.

[MidgetSellingWater]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

So, what was the story with Sen. Byrd then?

Teddy landed on him.

That, and he's really, really old.  These things happen to old guys from time to time.  This should serve as a lesson to all old guys --- always be on the lookout for drunken, bloated, falling, irishmen.

OR: He woke up from his nap, realized he wasn't having a nightmare, indeed a Negro Negroid really had been sworn in as the POTUS and immediately swallowed his tongue.

Christopedia'd

[Tank]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

That's alright... CT stole it from Fork in the first place (who, in turn, stole it from Mel Zetz).

[Quality Start Machine]

All in all it was a pretty good inauguration day. I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Obama started talking and Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd keeled over. CHANGE, BITCH!

As the new President paid homage to those who came before him and recognized the seemingly insurmountable obstacle on which he spoke from the summit, he pointed to a much larger, daunting mountain on the horizon, which we as a people will have to climb together and blah, blah, blah. But somebody said, "No, Mr. President, that's just Teddy Kennedy lying on the floor. He's had another seizure or something." Somehow, paramedics hauled his ass out of there everybody finished their lunch.

Teddy's fine.  Evidentally, somebody walked up to him and said "Senator Kennedy, the bar won't be open for another 25 minutes" and he keeled over.  They got a couple of liters of gin into him, and now he's stable.

Oh, my. You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I'm stealing that.

That's alright... CT stole it from Fork in the first place (who, in turn, stole it from Mel Zetz).

It's off his album, "Mel Zetz Plays All His Hits".