The Atheist Communist Caliphate Made Flesh, Spread the Clusterfuck Around Thread

[Jon]

Ed Anger or Glenn Beck?

Pat Robertson.

Why settle for Pat Robertson when Molly Shephard gives you such a better tits/crazy ratio?

SheDubbs?

[Quality Start Machine]

Anyone else been readin' this?

[Brownie]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

[motown]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Well, we Michiganders don't want your Asian carp screwing with the lovely fishing industry here.  Hey, it's all we have left!

Actually, this Asian carp issue is a dream come true for Michigan politicians who want to change the subject from the local economy, Detroit schools, etc.  The only constituency aligned against *anything* proposed by the governor, Attorney General, etc. is the fish themselves or out-of-staters who don't vote in their local elections.

[Brownie]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Well, we Michiganders don't want your Asian carp screwing with the lovely fishing industry here.  Hey, it's all we have left!

Actually, this Asian carp issue is a dream come true for Michigan politicians who want to change the subject from the local economy, Detroit schools, etc.  The only constituency aligned against *anything* proposed by the governor, Attorney General, etc. is the fish themselves or out-of-staters who don't vote in their local elections.

It doesn't hurt that your AG is a Republican running for Gov. and is able to run ads showing black and white grainy photographs of Jennifer Granholm (if she's running for re-election) alongside Barack Obama with menacing background music and a voiceover like this:

"Mike Cox stood up to Jennifer Granholm and her White House buddies who are run by the Chicago cronies. Why, Mike Cox SUED ILLINOIS to shut down their awful, awful Sanitary Canal because of the Asian Carp! But Barack (Granholm's friend) used the EPA to fight that because he wanted to help out his old friends!"

And Granholm and her folks can claim that nothing was done the previous eight years (show photo of Mike Cox alongside Rumsfeld/Cheney/Bush/Condoleeza Rice), and besides the S&S Canal was built under the TEDDY ROOSEVELT administration (show picture of John McCain proudly next to some TR representation) and completed during the Republican COOLIDGE administration (show Reagan speaking in the Oval Office with portrait of Coolidge over his shoulder).

It's obviously a regional issue (not surprising, then, that I'm fully on board with Durbin and Obama), and the Asian Carp might wreak havoc on the Great Lakes (although there has been some doubt to their ability to thrive in a cold, deep lake). However, all the neighboring states underestimate the importance of the S&S Canal to the city, Illinois, and the Midwest. And judging by the somewhat muted interest locally, so do Chicagoans.

From what I've read lately, it sounds like this suit, onto which Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York and Ontario have all joined, has a great chance of happening, no?

[Chuck to Chuck]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

[Brownie]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.

[Quality Start Machine]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.
3) Fuck Dallas

Always applicable.

[Slaky]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.
3) Fuck Dallas

Always applicable.

Not this weekend.

[Quality Start Machine]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.
3) Fuck Dallas

Always applicable.

Not this weekend.

Pulling for an asteroid to plow into the Earth on the 50 yard line this weekend.

[Kermit IV]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.
3) Fuck Dallas

Always applicable.

Not this weekend.

Pulling for an asteroid to plow into the Earth on the 50 yard line this weekend.

It's called the equator, IDITO.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.

Maybe the carp will eat the alewives that infest Wilmette.

[Slaky]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Maybe we could reverse the flow of the river?

Unfortunately, that's not an option. They first wanted to close the canal at Lockport, but after that ND student found carp DNA at Wilmette, they'll want to close the entire canal system. So in short:

1) Fuck Michigan.
2) Fuck Notre Dame.

Maybe the carp will eat the alewives that infest Wilmette.

[motown]

Anyone else concerned about the suit filed against the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago seeking to permanently close the Sanitary and Ship Canal to prevent the Asian Carp from entering Lake Michigan?

Not only would this jeopardize the water quality of the 5 million people in the MWRD, nor would it merely cause widespread flooding not seen since before the completion of Deep Tunnel (and really the I & M Canal), but it would eliminate any chance of you taking a pleasure cruise from Lake Michigan to ... St. Louis?

Well, we Michiganders don't want your Asian carp screwing with the lovely fishing industry here.  Hey, it's all we have left!

Actually, this Asian carp issue is a dream come true for Michigan politicians who want to change the subject from the local economy, Detroit schools, etc.  The only constituency aligned against *anything* proposed by the governor, Attorney General, etc. is the fish themselves or out-of-staters who don't vote in their local elections.

It doesn't hurt that your AG is a Republican running for Gov. and is able to run ads showing black and white grainy photographs of Jennifer Granholm (if she's running for re-election) alongside Barack Obama with menacing background music and a voiceover like this:

"Mike Cox stood up to Jennifer Granholm and her White House buddies who are run by the Chicago cronies. Why, Mike Cox SUED ILLINOIS to shut down their awful, awful Sanitary Canal because of the Asian Carp! But Barack (Granholm's friend) used the EPA to fight that because he wanted to help out his old friends!"

And Granholm and her folks can claim that nothing was done the previous eight years (show photo of Mike Cox alongside Rumsfeld/Cheney/Bush/Condoleeza Rice), and besides the S&S Canal was built under the TEDDY ROOSEVELT administration (show picture of John McCain proudly next to some TR representation) and completed during the Republican COOLIDGE administration (show Reagan speaking in the Oval Office with portrait of Coolidge over his shoulder).

It's obviously a regional issue (not surprising, then, that I'm fully on board with Durbin and Obama), and the Asian Carp might wreak havoc on the Great Lakes (although there has been some doubt to their ability to thrive in a cold, deep lake). However, all the neighboring states underestimate the importance of the S&S Canal to the city, Illinois, and the Midwest. And judging by the somewhat muted interest locally, so do Chicagoans.

From what I've read lately, it sounds like this suit, onto which Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York and Ontario have all joined, has a great chance of happening, no?

Granholm's term-limited, so she's out. Speculation has been that she'll move on to an appointed position with the Obama administration, but who knows. Her lieutenant governor, previously thought of as the logical Dem nominee, recently announced that he will not seek the nomination. Turns out that when things are going bad, people tend to blame the politicians in power, right or wrong- who knew? Granholm is political kryptonite presently in the state of Michigan, and so the guv election next year is probably going to be about assigning blame.  As with all elections. (someone insert that "More You Know..." pic)

I don't know what the likelihood of a carp suit is, however Granholm and Cox have recently been in the papers as "looking into all means available" to stem the oncoming Asian carp disaster. Like I said, a politician's dream issue without adverse constituencies amongst the voters.  "Yeah! Let's SUE those nasty fish back to the stone age!"

[Wheezer]

Ed Anger or Glenn Beck?

Pat Robertson.

Why settle for Pat Robertson when Molly Shephard gives you such a better tits/crazy ratio?

SheDubbs?

More deliberate.