Shitty O'Keas

[Gilgamesh]

I've made some poor life choices, but you fuckers top them all. I wanna say the triumvirate was more than that. I remember Huey, Pre, Yeti, and I think Morts all contributed. I don't know though. Everything after Andy and Gordo going at it gets a little hazy. I remember Hendry telling me he had no more big moves and 88-90 wins was what he expects, and calling Woo Woo a fucking bum, and telling Kenney to "put a god damn winner on the field." I remember DadPex being the coolest sonofabitch there. I remember telling the waitress TDubbs was flirting with that we were internet chatroom friends. Something about slingblade. And Bruce Miles is fucking awesome.

Did Hendry really come in? Fuck.

I was able to tell Crane Kenney, "You know there really is no such thing as a Billy Goat Curse, right?  Right?"  And he proceeded to throw that Orthodox priest and the media under the bus in one fell swoop.    Whatadouche.

In fairness to him, though, I'm pretty sure he was still reeling from being berated by flannj for a solid 15 minutes prior to that.

DON'T MAKE ME SUBPOENA ALL OF YOU FOR TESTIMONY REGARDING LAST NIGHT!!!

Who was privy to this flannj/Kenney discussion?  Obviously flannj, but anyone else?

[Wheezer]

A triumvirate was formed to run SKO's life for him.

I don't know nothing about his life, but my bathroom has seen better days.  Fuckers.

If the maid, she wasn't such a long time
The bathroom would mean nothing to me at all

[Bort]

Whoa. Kenny and Hendry were there? Shit, I could have soberly berated them.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Who was privy to this flannj/Kenney discussion?  Obviously flannj, but anyone else?

I believe Flannj asked some pointed questions in regards to the 12% bump in ticket prices. To which Crane responded with a suggestion that flannj speak with Gordon Wittenmyer. Or something.

[Internet Apex]

I remember DadPex being the coolest sonofabitch there.

I just overheard DadPex relaying this tidbit of affirmation to my sister who called to wish him a happy birthday. (It is. Thanks guys.)

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I remember DadPex being the coolest sonofabitch there.

I just overheard DadPex relaying this tidbit of affirmation to my sister who called to wish him a happy birthday. (It is. Thanks guys.)

Thanks for letting us know it was his birthday ya douche.  I would have gladly bought him a lager of his choosing.

[flannj]

Okay, here is how I remember the beginning our "discussion".

I had just returned from the bathroom and I'm pretty sure it was Thrill playing the role of a fucking instigator that said "Did you see Crane Kenney over there, you should go talk to him".
I could not let this opportunity pass so I immediately turned and walked over to him. He was talking to some typical moron Cub fan about Buffalo Dogs or something.
I stood about two feet away in his line of sight and waited for them to finish their conversation.
I had already caught his eye so he really couldn't go anywhere, I introduced myself and told him that I have been a season ticket holder for the last 15 years and that I had a bone to pick with him.
I explained that my tickets went up in price 17% in '08 and that I remember he came out with an apology saying that the prices had been fixed before the economy tanked and they realized that this would be a hardship on many people but sorry the budget was fixed and there was nothing they could do about it.

He agreed that he had made those statements.

I continued, "So what did you do after that apology? That apology that I took to be sincere?"
"You raised my ticket prices 12 and a half percent in '09."
"And then you raised them again this year."

I explained that I understand the the law of supply and demand.
And that I understood that the Cubs have a captive audience, with a waiting list of 70,000 (as an aside I said that if you were to release more season tickets that list would probably shrink to more like 10,000 and he agreed).
And that you can charge whatever the market can bear.
But to come out with a supposed apology like you did and then substantially raise prices the next two years was wrong, disingenuous, and essentially a lie.

To his credit he agreed that he shouldn't have made the statements and that he regretted them.

He then said that my price increases didn't sound right and should be looked into, that the increases should have been a lot smaller.
And then to my complete amazement he pointed to Wittenmyer and said "You should read the article that Gordon wrote, it details the ticket pricing very accurately"

My response word for word was "Why would I want to read something that fuckhead wrote?"

There was an awkward pause after that and then quite a bit more discussion which I am too hungover to detail right now but I promise I will eventually.

Also the Triumvirate started as Pre, me, and then pretty much everybody else.

Watching Gordo lose it at Kerm was fucking outstanding.

Jesus is Sarah Spain a big girl.

And Pre, thanks for all the beers.

I had a blast as usual. You guys are a bunch of clowns. I'd hang out with you anytime.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I had just returned from the bathroom and I'm pretty sure it was Thrill playing the role of a fucking instigator that said "Did you see Crane Kenney over there, you should go talk to him".

I'm pretty sure it was something more along the lines of: "You just brushed past Crane Kenney. How come you didn't punch him in the fucking face?"

[Oleg]

OK...here's how it looked from my point of view...

I was standing at the table with Bruce Miles, Hawk, Pre, and Andy.  I'm looking away from the table as at this point of the evening I had nothing to say to anyone and even if I did I doubt I remembered how to speak English.

Commissioner Gordon was standing in his douchesuit regaling some douchetrixiegroupiefromthe90s with tales of great heroism, I'm sure.

Off in the near distance I see Huey going off to the bathroom.  As I twist my body a tad, I see Crane Kinney walking, about 10 feet away from, in our general direction.  Following Crane is Todd Ricketts.  I first looked around the table and damn near cracked up at seeing Andy's name tag, which read 'Todd Ricketts / @Desipiodotcom'.  I then heard Andy say something to the effect of, "Hey Todd.  The bathrooms can use a hose-down,"  Or something like that.  Unfortunately, Todd didn't hear it.

My next thought went to the anger that I know Huey has for Kinney and I started hoping that he would make it back in time from the bathroom to see this scene and make things more awkward.  Dare to dream.

At this point, I see flannj walk right by Kinney.  He clearly didn't see him but if he had suddenly stuck his arm out he could have punched Kinney right in the face.  I then saw him turn around, unaware that Thrill said anything to him.  As flannj turned around and met Kinney's face with his eyes, I had never seen a facial expression turn so quickly.  He went from smiling to snarling in about .2 seconds.  It was amazing.  By the time I had time to turn to see if Kinney had noticed, flannj was already in his face.

I couldn't really tell what was being said, but I thought they would start making out on the spot.  Don't worry flannj, I could have taken the broads.

As this conversation went on, I turned to look over by the bar, still hoping Huey shows up in time.  Although by this time I decided that the awkwardness was well accomplished and I was just hoping he could bask in Cubs royalty with us.

I still felt invisible.  I may have said something to Andy.

Then, I see him.  Turning the corner and walking just near the bar is Jim Hendry.  Hendry walked right over to our table.  He shoved me out of the way and started talking to Bruce Miles.  Hawk or Andy would have to tell you what was said.  I waiting right behind Hendry and when he turned around I happened to be just about right in his face.  OK, I was more face-to-man boobs, but you get the idea.

He smiled at me and said hello.  I said hello.  Gaining the confidence from being able to form an English word, I continued, "Well, where credit is due.  Nice trade."  I figured the, "Where the credit was due" comment would show him that I haven't been very happy with him and I think he may have sween what I was doing.  He said he liked it, too, and scooted on by.

By this time, flannj was finishing up with Kinney.  I saw Kinney hand over a business card and escape.  At that point, I was way interested in flannj's conversation and asked him about, getting he story you can read above/below.

Man, that was fun.

About 10 minutes after all this, I walked into the bathroom and noticed just how bloodshot my eyes were.  I have no idea what Hendry was thinking when he looked at my eyes when we spoke, but he must have been worried about my obvious loss of blood through them.

[Gilgamesh]

Jesus is Sarah Spain a big girl.

Was she looking fat or something?  Put her on the scale of 1 to 10, please.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Jesus is Sarah Spain a big girl.

Was she looking fat or something?  Put her on the scale of 1 to 10, please.

Anyone have a produce scale on hand?

[Gilgamesh]

Jesus is Sarah Spain a big girl.

Was she looking fat or something?  Put her on the scale of 1 to 10, please.

Anyone have a produce scale on hand?

http://www.angehr.com/krusty.wav

[J. Walter Weatherman]

A few things I learned last night:

Gordon Wittenmyer is Timothy Busfield

SKO is Karl Childers, as portrayed by Jack Black, with Lloyd Christmas' hair

TDubbs has little appreciation for either the I Ching or Lead Belly

Jon loves his wife

The back of Huey's head has a grin on it

Sarah Spain and Wheezer both wear the same brand of shoes... WHAT ARE THE FUCKING ODDS?

Girls from Antioch, IL can casual racist with the best of them

Kerm is thinking of starting a band... Can anyone here play bass?

Rod Beck and Kenny Powers had a child together

Ricketts family investments manager/black sheep/adult adoptee Toby Ricketts isn't a wartime investments manager

Never has someone who's never met Gordon Wittenmyer said the kinds of things about him that Dolan has

(Those who have met Gordon, on the other hand...)

[JD]

I can only assume there's going to be a Dose aboot this, eh?  Please don't put it on that site we've all stopped reading, though.  HJE and Desipio will suffice.


Sounds like it was a great time.  If I wasn't an Orioles fan, I woulda gone.

[Yeti]

I wanna say the triumvirate was more than that. I remember Huey, Pre, Yeti, and I think Morts all contributed.

I'd figured the triumvirate was Jack, Jim and Johnnie.

I'm pretty sure Wheezer and I are in it as well. But I was distracted by whether Kermit and Busfield were gonna fight or whether they were gonna fuck. God the sexual tension was thick.

Did Yeti ultimately win the affections of the brunettes?

No, and I'll explain why (besides the obvious reason that I am a fat ugly fuck). So, a good chunk of you know I have a long lost brother I recently found out about. So, he lives up in Lindenhurst. Another important preface is that up until Monday I was dating this girl from Edwardsville but she was from Lindenhurst as well. We are fine now, I guess friends if anything. So, TDubbs is talking to the hot burnette (nice tits) and I come in later and talk to the heavier, "could be cute if she lost 20 pounds" burnette (Linaya). She was nice enough and I realistically knew that if I had a chance with either of them, it would be her. So, I find out they're from Lindenhurst. I mention my brother. She knew the name because she was decent friends with his younger sister (not a blood relative of mine so I'm comfortable saying she is pretty hot). Then, (and even though it wasn't initially a problem, I think it ended up being the killer) I mentioned was "friends" with the girl I dated, Elayna. Well, Linaya said she was really good friends with Elayna. They actually roomed together in Edwardsville for a semester until L (abbreviating because I can) moved back north to go to school. Well, we both texted E and it was confirmed. E told me to "be nice to her" to which I replied "why wouldn't i?". I received a "idk. Are you going to sleep with her". I said that I didn't know and she (E) would know that answer better than I would. Well, I'm not sure what E and L were texting back and forth but I have a feeling it was some cockblocking bullshit. Later, as we were leaving Kerm was doing his best to get them to come back to TDubbs which I think might have helped my chances but they ultimately decided against it. L mentioned they would go out tonight and I got her number and texted her this morning but I have yet to hear anything back. So, probably a complete failure but I don't think it was as bad of a failure as my last failure in Chicago for TDubbs' birthghey. So, there's your story of that. Its a small fucking world. I know that