Shitty O'Keas

[JD]

Fuck family!

People do it. 

[SKO]

Fuck family!

People do it. 

Easy there, Arkansas.

[Slaky]

Jesus is Sarah Spain a big girl.

Was she looking fat or something?  Put her on the scale of 1 to 10, please.

Anyone have a produce scale on hand?

Go on...

[Andy]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

[SKO]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

It may also be the last one, if they recognize any of us at the door next year.

[Brownie]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

That hurts. Wish I could have been there.

[Pre]

Also the Triumvirate started as Pre, me, and then pretty much everybody else.

The Triumvirate is me, flannj, and Wheezer.  There was also:
Morph -  Professor of Stacking Cheddar (Personal Finance Division)
Oleg - Professor of Stacking Cheddar (Hoggie Division)

Did Yeti ultimately win the affections of the brunettes?

No, and I'll explain why (besides the obvious reason that I am a fat ugly fuck). So, a good chunk of you know I have a long lost brother I recently found out about. So, he lives up in Lindenhurst. Another important preface is that up until Monday I was dating this girl from Edwardsville but she was from Lindenhurst as well. We are fine now, I guess friends if anything. So, TDubbs is talking to the hot burnette (nice tits) and I come in later and talk to the heavier, "could be cute if she lost 20 pounds" burnette (Linaya). She was nice enough and I realistically knew that if I had a chance with either of them, it would be her. So, I find out they're from Lindenhurst. I mention my brother. She knew the name because she was decent friends with his younger sister (not a blood relative of mine so I'm comfortable saying she is pretty hot). Then, (and even though it wasn't initially a problem, I think it ended up being the killer) I mentioned was "friends" with the girl I dated, Elayna. Well, Linaya said she was really good friends with Elayna. They actually roomed together in Edwardsville for a semester until L (abbreviating because I can) moved back north to go to school. Well, we both texted E and it was confirmed. E told me to "be nice to her" to which I replied "why wouldn't i?". I received a "idk. Are you going to sleep with her". I said that I didn't know and she (E) would know that answer better than I would. Well, I'm not sure what E and L were texting back and forth but I have a feeling it was some cockblocking bullshit. Later, as we were leaving Kerm was doing his best to get them to come back to TDubbs which I think might have helped my chances but they ultimately decided against it. L mentioned they would go out tonight and I got her number and texted her this morning but I have yet to hear anything back. So, probably a complete failure but I don't think it was as bad of a failure as my last failure in Chicago for TDubbs' birthghey. So, there's your story of that. Its a small fucking world. I know thatshe found out that I'm terrible in bed

Cliff Notes'd (is that how y'all are still doing it?)

[Wheezer]

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I mostly got to take this in only as a colorful mime show until Wittenmyer piercingly shrieked at Kerm that he needed to TAKE A LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR. The man would be torn to shreds at mothering.com.

[ChuckD]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

This is fantastic.

[Internet Apex]

Someday, Dolan is going to win this war for us.

[Eli]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

I'm just going to put this out there:

I miss having you post here. There. I said it.

[motown]

I'll write something up for Desipio proper, but here's what I remember:

Gordo is fucking insane.  He showed up demanding to see me, then refused to shake my hand (right after Sullivan and Miles happily greeted me.)  Gordon wanted to know what my deal was (I guess this makes me Jim Harbaugh to his Pete Carroll), and said I was too personal in my criticism of him.  I asked him for an example...knowing he'd have to call himself a douche.  That really made him mad and he said, "That stuff is uncalled for.  My son read that."  To which I very calmly replied "I'm sorry that's how he had to find out."

He said that I'm the first person "to rip me without even meeting me" and so I said, "It's good to know that most people wait to meet you and then rip you."

That's when he called me an asshole and flipped me off.  He told me I was just jealous and mean, and I asked him if he could explain why I don't have any problems with either Paul or Bruce.

Then, Sullivan decided to "help."  (He was at his shit stirring best, which was pretty fun.)

He said, "Gordon, Andy wrote something nice about you the other day."

Gordon wanted to know what it was, and Paul said, "He congratulated you on getting the Garza trade first."

The best part is that here is what I wrote in that tweet:

"Go ahead and gloat about your scoop @cst_cubs Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn in the mud once and a while."

Sullivan then helpfully reminded Gordon that I like to write that he's an albino.

This went on for about ten minutes at which point I told him I enjoyed meeting him and having him confirm all of my suspicions about him.  He went to go buy himself a fucking Dewar's on the rocks and pointedly bought everyone else within earshot a drink and not me (buuuurrrrrnnnnn).  I went back to chatting up Miles and the rest of you degenerates.

Ten or 15 minutes later he got into it with Kermit and that went on for a long time because Kermit was shithammered and he's used to dragging out arguments so he can bill more for them.  Gordon said Kerm was irresponsible because he will tweet things with no sources to back them up.  And he wanted to let Kermit know what a huge asshole I am and at one point Bruce and Kermit thought Gordon was going to punch Kermit, because Kerm called him a talentless hack.

I went back to the Chubby Julie tweetup, which was a wild time.  They know how to party.  They let me have a nametag and they were all writing their twat handles on them, so I did too, but I wrote Todd Ricketts above it.  I still had it on today in a Nike Outlet store and the girl at the register had a nametag that said "Ask Me About the Cubs" and she just stared at my nametag for a second.  Neither of us asked, and neither of us told.

Anyway, Crane and Todd came in about midnight.  Some broad came in and Gordon ran over to her, Bruce ID'd her as the Ricketts PR lady.  She saw my name tag and gave me a lovely stinkeye.

Hendry came in and came over to me and Bruce, he shoved Oleg to the ground, then looked down and offered him a three year deal to play second.  Then said this to Bruce, "Sorry about the contract thing.  You know that it was Kinzer and that Levine is up his ass, that's the reason he had it first.  It didn't come from us."  Hendry wanted Bruce to know that Geo's agent had given Levine the contract scoop, and that Jim was at least pretending to be pissed about it.

I had already yelled my hilarious hose down the bathrooms line to Todd 2014 and he didn't hear me, but the PR lady did.  She was not amused.  And Miles claims he saw Gordon explain to her that I'm a complete asshole.  Second scoop Gord's had this week!

Then, the personal highlight of the night for me.  They started flashing the lights for closing time and we started packing up.  Todd 2014 wandered over and just stared at my name tag.  I said hi and repeated that the bathrooms could use a good hosing down.  He just wandered off.  But on our way out, Crane was holding court with a bunch of suits in the little room where Julie and her gang had been festering all night but had since abandoned in search of an Old Country Buffet.  I stuck my head in and said, drunkenly, "Hey Crane!"  He looked up and with a big shit eating grin I said, "Go fuck yourself."  That felt good.  I didn't even yell it, just said it kind of matter of factly.  I thought I really nailed the delivery.

Interesting thing I learned (maybe we've always suspected it) is that Hendry absolutely hates Crane, and it was pretty obvious the way they avoided each other in the bar.  Hendry also hates Gordon.  Say what you will, but the man at least has the good sense to openly despise those two.

So I think, all in all, it was the best one yet.

The payoff for lurking on a fringe message board. This is the Lord's work, all of you.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

If Andy doesn't watch himself, someone's gonna sic the modern-day Menckens at The Heckler (dot com) on him again.

[Slaky]

If Andy doesn't watch himself, someone's gonna sic the modern-day Menckens at The Heckler (dot com) on him again.

Did they remove it?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

If Andy doesn't watch himself, someone's gonna sic the modern-day Menckens at The Heckler (dot com) on him again.

Did they remove it?

I'm gathering that they changed their content management setup back in September, killing the old permalinks.

They also didn't apparently see any reason to bother setting up archive pages for their content, so any readers (or search engines) looking to find anything beyond their 10 most recent comedic gems (check the photo credit) is shit out of luck.

I guess they know their own readership well enough.