CIN, HOU, MIL, PIT, CHC all pisspoor in 2009.

[Tank]

I for one appreciate this thread because I didn't have time to wade through 50+ pages of text to find out that our rival clubs of the NL Central are going to be stank shit in this upcoming season.  I don't know who to thank: Tonker, for making this thread, or the other 5 baseball teams we share a division with, for being DEADWEIGHT.

He lives.

[Quality Start Machine]

Tonker showed that people from that side of the pond are as handy with threads as with recipes.

[BH]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

[flannj]

Even Baker isn't likely to do that.

That made me guffaw.

[Oleg]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

So this is as good a time as any to trade Votto off my roto team?

[Dave B]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

At least Jock doesn't have to throw very far over at first base.

[PenFoe]

I'm just glad this thread is being kept alive, lest we forget Tonk's shame.

[fiveouts]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

At least Jock doesn't have to throw very far over at first base.

He'll do a great job throwing infield practice before innings. 

[Waco Kid]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

This is hilarious. I'd certainly wager that Baker would do exactly this.

[Quality Start Machine]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

At least Jock doesn't have to throw very far over at first base.

Someone will have to tell Jock you only spike the ball after the third out.

[Simmer]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

At least Jock doesn't have to throw very far over at first base.

He'll do a great job throwing infield practice before innings. 

Dave B and fiveouts were thinking what I was thinking.  His ability to spike a baseball into his shoelaces should serve him well as a first baseman.

For a Jock throw across the diamond, I would set the over/under at "Pitcher's mound".

[D. Doluntap]

"Jacque Jones played his first professional game at first base Thursday.
"It's a fun change for me," Jones said, "a lot of action. You're involved in almost every play." If Dusty Baker falls in love with using the veteran Jones, it would come at the expense of talented young players Chris Dickerson and Joey Votto. Even Baker isn't likely to do that.
Related: Joey Votto, Chris Dickerson"

At least Jock doesn't have to throw very far over at first base.

He'll do a great job throwing infield practice before innings. 

Dave B and fiveouts were thinking what I was thinking.  His ability to spike a baseball into his shoelaces should serve him well as a first baseman.

For a Jock throw across the diamond, I would set the over/under at "Pitcher's mound".

Under.  Tossed at just the right angle, I'd take first base dugout.  Pretty confident with that pick, too.

[Slaky]

Houston should move to the AL West and get it over with.

[CBStew]

Every year son number three goes to Las Vegas and puts $20 on the Cubs for his dad.  Last year it would have paid $120.  Each time he does that he gets a ticket and a smirk from the clerk who sells the tickets.  Although not a Cub fan my son was rooting for them so he could bring the ticket back to the same clerk and ask who was smirking now?  We know the answer.  I have decided that it is the $20 bets that are jinxing us.  I asked him to do me a favor and not buy a ticket on the Cubs this year.

[Slaky]

Every year son number three goes to Las Vegas and puts $20 on the Cubs for his dad.  Last year it would have paid $120.  Each time he does that he gets a ticket and a smirk from the clerk who sells the tickets.  Although not a Cub fan my son was rooting for them so he could bring the ticket back to the same clerk and ask who was smirking now?  We know the answer.  I have decided that it is the $20 bets that are jinxing us.  I asked him to do me a favor and not buy a ticket on the Cubs this year.

Sweet, October is going to be awesome this time.

Seriously - is your son a Giants fan? They ain't done much better the last 60 years or so.