Crazy Uncle Milton's Shot Blasting Sploogefest Emporium

[LoneStarCubFan]

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=4245

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=3504

What's your point?  I know, I know.  Your point is that Ibanez is having a much better year than Milton Bradley.  And that Hendry, using his magical Hindsight Algorithm, should have signed Ibanez because it was so obvious to everyone Raul Ibanez would hit 17 home runs by the third week of May.

But what in Ibanez's history suggested it was a good idea to sign him?  He's going to be 37 this year, he makes Adam Dunn look good on defense and he's been stuck as a 820-ish OPS player for years.  All reasonable thought would have indicated that's a bad signing.  And sometimes, weird things happen like mediocre 37-year-old corner outfielders get really hot for two months and crush the ball.  You're crazy if you think he'll keep up his 1.151 OPS pace.

Actually, it's pretty clear that you're crazy, regardless of your belief in the preceding statement.

What in Bradley's history indicates he's worth a shit for a full season unless he spends most of it as a DH?

What in your recent history indicates that anybody gives a shit what you think about shit?

Somebody brought the weak shit.

[LoneStarCubFan]

It'd be nice if you'd take Hendry's cock out of your mouth long enough to admit every move he made this offseason made the ballclub worse instead of better.

[Internet Apex]

It'd be nice if you'd take Hendry's cock out of your mouth long enough to admit every move he made this offseason made the ballclub worse instead of better.

You know, I don't really disagree with all that many of the things you say. But the way you say them is unfunny and lacks creativity. We all bang on the drum of Cubs suckiness but there's a nuance to it that can sometimes produce laughter on days like these when we desperately need it. You don't get it. You don't care and consequently, you have no friends here. Nobody can stop you from bringing your unique brand of retarded to this table, but as with cole slaw at a tits-out fried chicken feast, I'll pass on you. Because you look, smell and have the same constitution as vomit.

[Internet Apex]

(Removes Hendry's wang from mouth long enough to say,) "How'd you like that 2-run double, asshole?" Re-inserts. 

[LoneStarCubFan]

About Fucking Time.

[LoneStarCubFan]

About Fucking Time.

[butthead]

Suck it, Ibanez.

[Internet Apex]

About Fucking Time.

I hope you get AIDS on your tonsils from sucking DeRosa's meat.

[powen01]

Intrepid Reader:  Milton Bradley

Did one of you cracker ass crackers say something?  BOOM BITCH.  <Fist bumps Apexxx>

[LoneStarCubFan]

Oh good, it's up to the bullpen the rest of the way. I feel so much better.

[EVILteddie]

The Cubs hitters can only hit mediocre pitching.

[Internet Apex]

The Cubs hitters can only hit mediocre pitching.

Sometimes.

[Eli]

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=4245

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=3504

What's your point?  I know, I know.  Your point is that Ibanez is having a much better year than Milton Bradley.  And that Hendry, using his magical Hindsight Algorithm, should have signed Ibanez because it was so obvious to everyone Raul Ibanez would hit 17 home runs by the third week of May.

But what in Ibanez's history suggested it was a good idea to sign him?  He's going to be 37 this year, he makes Adam Dunn look good on defense and he's been stuck as a 820-ish OPS player for years.  All reasonable thought would have indicated that's a bad signing.  And sometimes, weird things happen like mediocre 37-year-old corner outfielders get really hot for two months and crush the ball.  You're crazy if you think he'll keep up his 1.151 OPS pace.

Actually, it's pretty clear that you're crazy, regardless of your belief in the preceding statement.

What in Bradley's history indicates he's worth a shit for a full season unless he spends most of it as a DH?

What does that have to do with Raul Ibanez?

[Philberto]

Bump for this:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/gl.cgi?n1=bradlmi01&t=b&year=2009&share=0.92#860-869-sum:batting_gamelogs

Over his 10 game hitting streak: .389/.450/.950. I guess you could bitch about the 2 RBIs and no HRs, but I figure if this guy just starts hitting in general, that shit will come.

This has also raised his BA by 40 points.

[Jon]

Bump for this:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/gl.cgi?n1=bradlmi01&t=b&year=2009&share=0.92#860-869-sum:batting_gamelogs

Over his 10 game hitting streak: .389/.450/.950. I guess you could bitch about the 2 RBIs and no HRs, but I figure if this guy just starts hitting in general, that shit will come.

This has also raised his BA by 40 points.

Well, those are certainly his fault.