Crazy Uncle Milton's Shot Blasting Sploogefest Emporium

[PenFoe]

I don't think I missed the point.  I think I directly addressed it when I pointed out what a gigantic dumbass you are to compare Gabe Kapler's splits to Milton Bradley's.

The point was not to compare Kapler's stats, it was to point out that splits from one month just aren't that telling.

I can only assume you thought it said "Kaplan" and lost sight of what we were talking about.

[Gil Gunderson]

I don't think I missed the point.  I think I directly addressed it when I pointed out what a gigantic dumbass you are to compare Gabe Kapler's splits to Milton Bradley's.

The point was not to compare Kapler's stats, it was to point out that splits from one month just aren't that telling.

I can only assume you thought it said "Kaplan" and lost sight of what we were talking about.

Damn.  Pen's on a roll today.  First the Hueyified interpretation of the Clement story, now this?

Somebody ate his Wheaties.

[Kermit, B.]

I don't think I missed the point.  I think I directly addressed it when I pointed out what a gigantic dumbass you are to compare Gabe Kapler's splits to Milton Bradley's.

The point was not to compare Kapler's stats, it was to point out that splits from one month just aren't that telling.

I can only assume you thought it said "Kaplan" and lost sight of what we were talking about.

Can I extend your logic to suggest that every person defecating himself over the 102 at-bats which preceded Milton's most-recent 60 at-bats is stupid?  Then I agree, sir.

[PenFoe]

I don't think I missed the point.  I think I directly addressed it when I pointed out what a gigantic dumbass you are to compare Gabe Kapler's splits to Milton Bradley's.

The point was not to compare Kapler's stats, it was to point out that splits from one month just aren't that telling.

I can only assume you thought it said "Kaplan" and lost sight of what we were talking about.

Can I extend your logic to suggest that every person defecating himself over the 102 at-bats which preceded Milton's most-recent 60 at-bats is stupid?  Then I agree, sir.

What if we were just turtling a little?

[Tank]

I hope all you anti-Milton buttchuggers have been paying attention to the last week two weeks four weeks.

Last 7 days:  .381/.458/.476
Last 14:  .378/.439/.486
Last 28:  .333/.403/.433

To quote Lou Brown, "It's startin' to come together, Pepper.  Startin' to come together."

I had one foot dragging off the bandwagon after his mystifying mishap that turned TDubbs into George Wallace, but I'm proud to say that I have largely remained in Milt's corner.  So, THIS.

Intrepid Reader: TDubbs

Milton Bradley is near.

[Pre]

What if we were just turtling a little?

I don't know what that means, but if it means:
- withdrawing into your shell to defend against a non-sexual or sexual
  assault, then that's cool

- if it means going to the bar to pick up chicks who are so fat that when
  you knock them over they are unable to get up so you can have your
  way with them, then it's not cool. 

- If aforementioned fat chicks gave prior consent, then it's cool but we'd
  prefer if you discuss it somewhere else.

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

- If it's some hip fake or real cockney phrase that you got off some BBC
  show then it's definitely cool, but you'll have to wait for someone cool
  to come around and makes a related reference that none of us get the
  reference to before you actually experience the moment of cool validation.
   
- If it's related to drugs then booze, weed, caffeine, shrooom, or cigars
  given to celebrate the birth of a child, then that's cool.  If it's something
  harder than you should seek treatment (MikeC).
  (also applies to the combination of narcotics and any of the above.)

[Tank]

What if we were just turtling a little?

I don't know what that means, but if it means:
- withdrawing into your shell to defend against a non-sexual or sexual
  assault, then that's cool

- if it means going to the bar to pick up chicks who are so fat that when
  you knock them over they are unable to get up so you can have your
  way with them, then it's not cool. 

- If aforementioned fat chicks gave prior consent, then it's cool but we'd
  prefer if you discuss it somewhere else.

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

- If it's some hip fake or real cockney phrase that you got off some BBC
  show then it's definitely cool, but you'll have to wait for someone cool
  to come around and makes a related reference that none of us get the
  reference to before you actually experience the moment of cool validation.
   
- If it's related to drugs then booze, weed, caffeine, shrooom, or cigars
  given to celebrate the birth of a child, then that's cool.  If it's something
  harder than you should seek treatment (MikeC).
  (also applies to the combination of narcotics and any of the above.)

I think Pen was just referring to trying to put a leash on the loggerhead pushing at one's brown eye.

(Versus full-on defecating oneself.)

[Saul Goodman]

What if we were just turtling a little?

I don't know what that means, but if it means:
- withdrawing into your shell to defend against a non-sexual or sexual
  assault, then that's cool

- if it means going to the bar to pick up chicks who are so fat that when
  you knock them over they are unable to get up so you can have your
  way with them, then it's not cool. 

- If aforementioned fat chicks gave prior consent, then it's cool but we'd
  prefer if you discuss it somewhere else.

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

- If it's some hip fake or real cockney phrase that you got off some BBC
  show then it's definitely cool, but you'll have to wait for someone cool
  to come around and makes a related reference that none of us get the
  reference to before you actually experience the moment of cool validation.
   
- If it's related to drugs then booze, weed, caffeine, shrooom, or cigars
  given to celebrate the birth of a child, then that's cool.  If it's something
  harder than you should seek treatment (MikeC).
  (also applies to the combination of narcotics and any of the above.)

Every single one of these sucks.

[PenFoe]

I think Pen was just referring to trying to put a leash on the loggerhead pushing at one's brown eye.

(Versus full-on defecating oneself.)

Nodding.

[Tank]

BTW...

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massively_multiplayer_online_real-time_strategy

MMORTS?

[morpheus]

BTW...

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massively_multiplayer_online_real-time_strategy

MMORTS?

The summer fashion world will never be the same.

[powen01]

BTW...

- if you mean the Real Time Strategy definition of being a defensive
  minded player, then take your nerd talk somewhere else where
  someone may someday give a shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massively_multiplayer_online_real-time_strategy

MMORTS?

The summer fashion world will never be the same.

Dude, that guy is turtling too.  I can see it.

[Kermit, B.]

Every single one of these sucks.

Wow.  That is terrible.

[Quality Start Machine]

Every single one of these sucks.

Wow.  That is terrible.

No HJE?

[MikeC]

All i keep hearing is "Milton Bradley is going to be hitting soon." What are we at the end of June and Milton's stat line sets at .243 BA, .354 OBP, .744 OPS with 5 HR, and 16 RBI, 23 Runs in 164 AB's. Hey its an improvement over .189 right?

Ryan Theriot is hitting .284 with a .339 OBP, with a .757 OPS. With 6 HR, 26 RBI, and 36 runs in 261 AB's.

Bradley has told the fans that even though he might not play as many games as other players he will do just as much or more in less AB's. I am still waiting for him to pass the Juggernaut offensive force Ryan Theriot in HR's, RBI, and Runs. I think any decent offensive player worth his salt could out produce Ryan Theriot by June 23rd. Did we really pay this much money for a guy who performs worse offensively than Ryan Theriot?

While everyone is drooling over his career year in Texas most people miss that Bradley has a career .822 OPS, only once ever got to 20 HR's, and only twice in his career managed to get above 70 RBI. So basically we are going to pay 30 million for a league average RFer. Milton isn't gifted with great power and he has never been a proven RBI producer. Right now he is on pace 14 HR and 44 RBI, fucking Matt Murton could do better than that. But he is gonna heat up anytime now, start clobbering HR's (which he doesn't do) and start knocking in tons of runs (which he has never done). Keep believing in Milton Bradley, all i see is a average player at best getting paid to act like a better baseball player than he really is. At least he has gone from "sucks ass" to "passable" but if your expecting more than that your gonna be disappointed.

I think the Cubs need to bust out the RBI-O-Meter for Bradley and see if he can hit 20 RBI before the All-Star break. God damn that's just pathetic thinking about it, and people still are on the Bradley band wagon?