Crazy Uncle Milton's Shot Blasting Sploogefest Emporium

[williams]

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/news/story?id=4423669

"All I'm saying is I pray the game is nine innings, so I can go out there the least amount of time possible and go home," Bradley said.

Me too Milton, me too.

[MAD]

http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports_hardball/2009/08/bradley-i-face-hatred-on-a-daily-basis.html

Charming.  Just think, only two more years of his cheerful, good-natured attitude.

Maybe I'm letting my Milton-love blind me here, but I think the headline makes his statement more dramatic than what he actually said.  I know he talked about facing "adversity and hatred on a daily basis," but when it's picked out of the quote to stand alone as a headline, it has a different ring to it.

I've been in his corner all year but I'm starting to get the idea that he's an incredibly needy, insecure buttwhistle.  There has been a ton of shit heaped on Soriano and when he was asked about fan abuse, he admitted that rarely does it cross a line and that his play has sort of cleared a path for it regardless.  Milton, on the other hand, keeps coming off like a giant sand-filled vagina.

[BC]

I wish the games were only 5 or 6 innings long so I didn't have to watch this fucking bullpen.

[Internet Apex]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

[BC]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

Someone has pissed in Apex's Cheerios.

[Wheezer]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

We get it, you're Raymond Allen.

[TDubbs]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

We get it, you're Raymond Allen.

[Slaky]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

[Quality Start Machine]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

I think we have our slogan for 2010.

[CT III]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.

And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

[MAD]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.

And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

Oooh.  He's got you there, Mitch.

I agree that Cub fans are idiots.  But I also suspect that a lot of the heckling that Bradley hears is coming from inside his own head.  The guy is, how shall I put it politely, a bit "touched" in the head, methinks.

[Jon]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.
And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

Intrepid Reader LaTroy Hawkins: Because he has a high melanin count? Fuck all y'all.

[Ghost of Dave Rosello]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.

And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

Oooh.  He's got you there, Mitch.

I agree that Cub fans are idiots.  But I also suspect that a lot of the heckling that Bradley hears is coming from inside his own head.  The guy is, how shall I put it politely, a bit "touched" in the head, methinks.

If by "touched" you mean "batshit crazy" I would have to agree.

[Slaky]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.

And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

Oooh.  He's got you there, Mitch.

I agree that Cub fans are idiots.  But I also suspect that a lot of the heckling that Bradley hears is coming from inside his own head.  The guy is, how shall I put it politely, a bit "touched" in the head, methinks.

He did get me there and I did say that. But I think I've come around. I'm a changed man I says!

[R-V]

Milty, Z and Marmol are my favorite player not named Aramis. I don't really care that much about anybody else on the team or in the fanbase or the media. Fuck you too, by the way.

So we've been calling Cubs fans idiots for years and now we find that Milton Bradley agrees with us and we're going to hate him for it? I'm with Milt. Fuck the Cubs.

Whoa there sailor, I don't hate him for calling Cubs fans idiots.  I just...don't like him.  Even I'm not sure why sometimes.

And aren't you the guy who's always screaming that Derek Lee should SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL whenever he says anything about the fans?

Oooh.  He's got you there, Mitch.

I agree that Cub fans are idiots.  But I also suspect that a lot of the heckling that Bradley hears is coming from inside his own head.  The guy is, how shall I put it politely, a bit "touched" in the head, methinks.

I think Mike Douche has this one right. Cubs fans, particularly BleacherChads, are largely shitstains. But it's not like this is the first time Milton's shown signs of an over-the-top persecution complex. He's pulled the oversensitive act elsewhere, so you can't lay all the blame at the feet of Tdubbs and his bros in the bleachers for throwing watermelon seeds at Milton. Most of it, but not all.

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.