Crazy Uncle Milton's Shot Blasting Sploogefest Emporium

[Chuck to Chuck]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

True.  But he does look a lot like Kent Mercker.

[Quality Start Machine]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

[R-V]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

Aramis' injury (and the fact that there was no backup plan).

Below average production from left field (when you were expecting top-tier production).

Awful production from 2nd base (when you were expecting at least average production).

Below average production from catcher (when you were expecting above average production).

Marmol's inability to throw strikes.

Gregg's ridiculous rate of home runs allowed.

I'd say all those are above Milton on the Fail List. Obviously he hasn't lived up to expectations, but even when he was shitty, at least he was getting on base.

[CT III]

Let's not lose track of what's important here.

I totally burned Slak.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's not lose track of what's important here.

I totally burned Slak.

BFD, he's pretty flammable.

[Waco Kid]

Well I'm borrowing a page from Slak.

Hey Milt SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL

Between the shitty start, the antics, and the constant comments I'm getting quite tired of Milt already.

[Slaky]

Let's not lose track of what's important here.

I totally burned Slak.

BFD, he's pretty flammable.

Not when I wear my duster. It's flame retardant. That's the whole point. I'M NOT BURNING THE DUSTER. Ok?

Well I'm borrowing a page from Slak.

Hey Milt SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLAY BALL

Between the shitty start, the antics, and the constant comments I'm getting quite tired of Milt already.

That was the old Slak. He dead.

[Brownie]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

Aramis' injury (and the fact that there was no backup plan).

Below average production from left field (when you were expecting top-tier production).

Awful production from 2nd base (when you were expecting at least average production).

Below average production from catcher (when you were expecting above average production).

Marmol's inability to throw strikes.

Gregg's ridiculous rate of home runs allowed.

I'd say all those are above Milton on the Fail List. Obviously he hasn't lived up to expectations, but even when he was shitty, at least he was getting on base.

This.

I think Milton should shut up and play ball, too. But can we all agree he's the best RF the Cubs have had since the Gladiator actually gave a shit?

[Quality Start Machine]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

Aramis' injury (and the fact that there was no backup plan).

Below average production from left field (when you were expecting top-tier production).

Awful production from 2nd base (when you were expecting at least average production).

Below average production from catcher (when you were expecting above average production).

Marmol's inability to throw strikes.

Gregg's ridiculous rate of home runs allowed.

I'd say all those are above Milton on the Fail List. Obviously he hasn't lived up to expectations, but even when he was shitty, at least he was getting on base.

This.

I think Milton should shut up and play ball, too. But can we all agree he's the best RF the Cubs have had since the Gladiator actually gave a shit?

MATT STAIRS!

[Waco Kid]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

Aramis' injury (and the fact that there was no backup plan).

Below average production from left field (when you were expecting top-tier production).

Awful production from 2nd base (when you were expecting at least average production).

Below average production from catcher (when you were expecting above average production).

Marmol's inability to throw strikes.

Gregg's ridiculous rate of home runs allowed.

I'd say all those are above Milton on the Fail List. Obviously he hasn't lived up to expectations, but even when he was shitty, at least he was getting on base.

This.

I think Milton should shut up and play ball, too. But can we all agree he's the best RF the Cubs have had since the Gladiator actually gave a shit?

That's exactly why I wish Milt would just shut up and play.

[TDubbs]

All that being said, Milton is pretty far down on the list of reasons why the Cubs have failed miserably this season.

Not that far. He hit for shit half the season.

Aramis' injury (and the fact that there was no backup plan).

Below average production from left field (when you were expecting top-tier production).

Awful production from 2nd base (when you were expecting at least average production).

Below average production from catcher (when you were expecting above average production).

Marmol's inability to throw strikes.

Gregg's ridiculous rate of home runs allowed.

I'd say all those are above Milton on the Fail List. Obviously he hasn't lived up to expectations, but even when he was shitty, at least he was getting on base.

This.

I think Milton should shut up and play ball, too. But can we all agree he's the best RF the Cubs have had since the Gladiator actually gave a shit?

That's exactly why I wish Milt would just shut up and play.

What does Kurt think?

[BichetteHappens]

I just find Milton to be extremely annoying. At this point it's not even original to criticize him, everyone know's he's been a disappointment. What bugs me is instead of shutting the fuck up and earning that 10 million dollars he just seems pre-occupied with complaining about:

1. Umpires
2. Not having any teammates he can relate to
3. Fans
4. The weather

Ok, so I made the last one up. But you get the gist.

Since he's gave us the gift of a third year by not spending half of his season on the DL, I just hope he shuts the fuck up and plays ball.

[Ghost of Dave Rosello]

I just find Milton to be extremely annoying. At this point it's not even original to criticize him, everyone know's he's been a disappointment. What bugs me is instead of shutting the fuck up and earning that 10 million dollars he just seems pre-occupied with complaining about:

1. Umpires
2. Not having any teammates he can relate to
3. Fans
4. The weather

Ok, so I made the last one up. But you get the gist.

Since he's gave us the gift of a third year by not spending half of his season on the DL, I just hope he shuts the fuck up and plays ball.

Problem is he won't shut up and play ball. It's not in his make-up.

I would agree that Milt is far down the list on reasons this season has been one long trip on the fail train but he is probably going to play his way out of town due to the fact he won't shut the fuck up.

The abuse is only going to get worse if he keeps bitching about it. And since it's highly likely he will continue to receive questions about it he's not going to stop bitching.

I still can't believe Hendry thought Milt could handle the pressure that goes with playing here.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I still can't believe Hendry thought Milt could handle the pressure that goes with playing here.

Yes you do.

[*In a Nutsack]

I'm pretty sure the fans in RF are generally doucherockets that will say some extremely dumb things to a baseball player they apparently don't like.  And, we all know that Milton is a dickhead.  However, I can't help but smile when Milton gives those idiots a taste of their own medicine by mocking them.

I still like Milton Bradley.  I really hate these Cubs.