The Unresolved Bullpen Angst Thread

[PenFoe]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

New here?

[Internet Apex]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

Yeah, cuz this thread's been a thing of beauty and a barrel of fucking laughs from Jump St.

[Weebs]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

Yeah, cuz this thread's been a thing of beauty and a barrel of fucking laughs from Jump St.

I'd just like to point out that your signature is WRONG.  Culpepper to Moss.  Fin.

[Slaky]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

Yeah, cuz this thread's been a thing of beauty and a barrel of fucking laughs from Jump St.

I'd just like to point out that your signature is WRONG.  Culpepper to Moss.  Fin.

Bullshit. Culpepper had physical gifts, namely a cannon for an arm. Who did Moss turn into Joe Montana while he was on Oakland? Oh that's right.

[Weebs]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

Yeah, cuz this thread's been a thing of beauty and a barrel of fucking laughs from Jump St.

I'd just like to point out that your signature is WRONG.  Culpepper to Moss.  Fin.

Bullshit. Culpepper had physical gifts, namely a cannon for an arm. Who did Moss turn into Joe Montana while he was on Oakland? Oh that's right.

Moss didn't give a shit when he was in Oakland.  He's a selfish prick, there's no doubt about that, but he was also the reason Culpepper could use that arm to throw the ball 80 yards downfield to a guy who could leap up above anyone that was covering him.  Hell, he even gave Kerry Collins 1000 yards and 8 TDs on a shitty Raiders team before calling it quits in 2006 so he could get out of there.  Hell, Moss is the one who made Tom Brady a good regular season QB and gave him one of the best seasons anyone has ever seen.

[Ivy6]

That's right-- he took Tom Brady from a 3x Super Bowl Champion averaging 3750 yards and 26 TDs per season to a statistical anomaly with no ring.

And for the record- no one's arguing that WRs can't make a QB better, but rather that a great QB will elevate mediocre WRs more than great WRs will for a mediocre QB.

[Weebs]

That's right-- he took Tom Brady from a 3x Super Bowl Champion averaging 3750 yards and 26 TDs per season to a statistical anomaly with no ring.

And for the record- no one's arguing that WRs can't make a QB better, but rather that a great QB will elevate mediocre WRs more than great WRs will for a mediocre QB.

I was making a point about Apex's signature, that states a WR has never in history made a QB great.  I am 100% in agreement that the great QB will make the WR better.  But someone like Moss, who is far and away one of the most amazing talents that position has ever seen, can turn a QB from good to great.

[Slaky]

I'm not sure if there's been any talk of it, but it considering the state of this pitching staff, it might be worth it for the Cubs to pay John Smoltz the minimum to come in and work out of the bullpen after he's released by the Red Sox.

I can tell you why there's been no talk of it.

Well exuuuse me, Judge Reinhold.

What could Smoltz do that David Patton couldn't?

Grow facial hair.

Spend time in the sun without SPF 850.

How about we just make a "David Patton can..." thread and stop ruining this one?

Yeah, cuz this thread's been a thing of beauty and a barrel of fucking laughs from Jump St.

I'd just like to point out that your signature is WRONG.  Culpepper to Moss.  Fin.

Bullshit. Culpepper had physical gifts, namely a cannon for an arm. Who did Moss turn into Joe Montana while he was on Oakland? Oh that's right.

Moss didn't give a shit when he was in Oakland.  He's a selfish prick, there's no doubt about that, but he was also the reason Culpepper could use that arm to throw the ball 80 yards downfield to a guy who could leap up above anyone that was covering him.  Hell, he even gave Kerry Collins 1000 yards and 8 TDs on a shitty Raiders team before calling it quits in 2006 so he could get out of there.  Hell, Moss is the one who made Tom Brady a good regular season QB and gave him one of the best seasons anyone has ever seen.

One thousand yards! Is that a record? Kerry Collins is more than serviceable.

[Quality Start Machine]

That's right-- he took Tom Brady from a 3x Super Bowl Champion averaging 3750 yards and 26 TDs per season to a statistical anomaly with no ring.

And for the record- no one's arguing that WRs can't make a QB better, but rather that a great QB will elevate mediocre WRs more than great WRs will for a mediocre QB.

Danny White.

Steve Young.

[Saul Goodman]

Guh.

But at least Marmol didn't walk anybody?

[fiveouts]

Fuck Kevin Gregg.  Hard.  Fuck him.  Fuck him.  Fuck him. 

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

Fuck Kevin Gregg.  Hard.  Fuck him.  Fuck him.  Fuck him. 

Meh.  He's just doing his part to help cement the MEP plans.

[Ghost of Dave Rosello]

-30-

[CubFaninHydePark]

Nice job by Gregg to piss all over one of the best-pitched games of the year.

[BC]

I haven't taken this season as badly as 2004, but I certainly am getting that sick 2004 feeling about this year's team right about now.