The Unresolved Bullpen Angst Thread

[Slaky]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

[InternetApex]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

What's there to get? I'm just sayin' that Fork and Oleg may come up empty some but when they get ahold of one... They're like Adam Dunn is all I'm sayin'.

[Quality Start Machine]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

What's there to get? I'm just sayin' that Fork and Oleg may come up empty some but when they get ahold of one... They're like Adam Dunn is all I'm sayin'.

So we're fat lesbains.

[InternetApex]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

What's there to get? I'm just sayin' that Fork and Oleg may come up empty some but when they get ahold of one... They're like Adam Dunn is all I'm sayin'.

So we're fat lesbains.

Nothing wrong with fat lesbains.

[Quality Start Machine]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

What's there to get? I'm just sayin' that Fork and Oleg may come up empty some but when they get ahold of one... They're like Adam Dunn is all I'm sayin'.

So we're fat lesbains.

Nothing wrong with fat lesbains.

We're the lesbain of your existence?

[InternetApex]

You guys are to sabermetrics what the Amish are to electricity.

You are to clever comparisons what Fork is to comedy.

So he's batting .200 with 5 prodigious dongs and 25 Ks? It's April. If he keeps bumbling around out there, we'll sit him down, maybe.

I don't get it after all. I'm done here.

Go Cubs or not.

What's there to get? I'm just sayin' that Fork and Oleg may come up empty some but when they get ahold of one... They're like Adam Dunn is all I'm sayin'.

So we're fat lesbains.

Nothing wrong with fat lesbains.

We're the lesbain of your existence?

I can only hope for these things...

[Oleg]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

[InternetApex]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

powen said he's got something for that.

[Eli]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

powen said he's got something for that.

I thought you didn't post during the day anymore.

[MAD]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

powen said he's got something for that.

I thought you didn't post during the day anymore.

Dammit, Apex.  Did you lose yo job agin'?

And I don't think "Louisville Slugger to the nutsack" exactly cures chapped balls.

[InternetApex]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

powen said he's got something for that.

I thought you didn't post during the day anymore.

This is a one time deal.

[Slaky]

Maybe I just wasn't being clear.  The whole idea of driving in runs as a counter to errors the lead to runs being scored is just so unbelievably dumb.  It's mind-numbing.  It's the opposite of the way baseball should be thought about.  It's on par with Dusty saying that black players have an advantage in the sun or that walks clog the bases.  It's lazy thinking.

Sorry...talk like that chaps my nutsack.  Have you ever had a chapped nutsack?  Doesn't feel good.

powen said he's got something for that.

I thought you didn't post during the day anymore.

This is a one time deal.

Ah, suspended without pay? I get that a lot.

[EVILteddie]

Am i the only person that finds designating Vizcaino is funny? He has been the only middle reliever that hasn't given up a run yet, but Neil Cotts remains?

[InternetApex]

Am i the only person that finds designating Vizcaino is funny? He has been the only middle reliever that hasn't given up a run yet, but Neil Cotts remains?

I nearly peed my pants laughing about it when Cotts gave up that jack yesterday.

[*In a Nutsack]

Am i the only person that finds designating Vizcaino is funny? He has been the only middle reliever that hasn't given up a run yet, but Neil Cotts remains?

I nearly peed my pants laughing about it when Cotts gave up that jack yesterday.

I wish I had your restraint.