The Unresolved Bullpen Angst Thread

[Eli]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, uncurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

[RV]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, uncurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

Intrepid Reader: Lone Star

Dat bum Sotoa made de last out of de game I hope some scaffolding falls on dat guy or sometin. And I hope dat fella Ascanio gets hit by a PT Cruiser even though he's only 24 years old and he flashed some great stuff after that clusterfuck to start the 7th.


Christ almighty, I shudder to think what kind of internet suicide some people would commit if the Cubs actually fielded a losing team instead of one on pace to win 90+ games again.

[Brownie]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, uncurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

Intrepid Reader: Lone Star

Dat bum Sotoa made de last out of de game I hope some scaffolding falls on dat guy or sometin. And I hope dat fella Ascanio gets hit by a PT Cruiser even though he's only 24 years old and he flashed some great stuff after that clusterfuck to start the 7th.


Christ almighty, I shudder to think what kind of internet suicide some people would commit if the Cubs actually fielded a losing team instead of one on pace to win 90+ games again with Milton Bradley, Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Carlos Zambrano all losing significant time to injury..

[Slaky]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, uncurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

Intrepid Reader: Lone Star

Dat bum Sotoa made de last out of de game I hope some scaffolding falls on dat guy or sometin. And I hope dat fella Ascanio gets hit by a PT Cruiser even though he's only 24 years old and he flashed some great stuff after that clusterfuck to start the 7th.


Christ almighty, I shudder to think what kind of internet suicide some people would commit if the Cubs actually fielded a losing team instead of one on pace to win 90+ games again with Milton Bradley, Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Carlos Zambrano all losing significant time to injury..

Here's another cherry for your sundae: the Brewers are playing as well as they'll play all year. They'll regress as the Cubs get healthy.

[MAD]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, unincurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

And I'm the lowest form of life on the Internet.

[Quality Start Machine]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, unincurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

And I'm the lowest form of life on the Internet.

You're not just limited to the Internet, big guy.

[Internet Apex]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, unincurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

And I'm the lowest form of life on the Internet.

You're not just limited to the Internet, big guy.

Yeah, you make me look like Rudy on the softball diamond. And I've been that guy on every team I've played on ever. Thanks for that.

[Quality Start Machine]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, unincurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

And I'm the lowest form of life on the Internet.

You're not just limited to the Internet, big guy.

Yeah, you make me look like Rudy on the softball diamond. And I've been that guy on every team I've played on ever. Thanks for that.

If I were you, I'd be more distressed that I'd be a suitable courtesy runner for you...slowest black guy this side of Prince Fielder.

[HumbleJerry]

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/powerranking

Carlos Marmol and Kevin Gregg, the Cubs' set-up man and closer, have combined to allow 31 hits and 27 walks in 34 2/3 innings. 

[Apexx]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

To be perfectly fair, LoneStar is just drooling over all of the All Star caliber bullpen talent the Cubs have simply waiting in the wings.

Jeff Stevens?

Kevin Hart?

Yay?

Damn right, yay.

Apex, I didn't know you were an actor.

I don't know who this guy is. Is he one of the turds on the Wings that keeps scoring goals and smiling in sweaty interviews. They have an annoying habit.

[Apexx]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

I frequently hope that LoneStar gets severe, unincurable carpal tunnel, rendering him unable to use a computer for the rest of his life.  I'm not very nice.

And I'm the lowest form of life on the Internet.

You're not just limited to the Internet, big guy.

Yeah, you make me look like Rudy on the softball diamond. And I've been that guy on every team I've played on ever. Thanks for that.

If I were you, I'd be more distressed that I'd be a suitable courtesy runner for you...slowest black guy this side of Prince Fielder.

I just read this after being told about it by Huard last night. Anytime you wanna lineup and take a crack at a footrace, hit me up. That goes for most of the choads on our team too, though it aint no braggin' right to out leg most of us. If I'm not in the top 4 on the team from first to home, I'll eat my hat.

But as far as black people go, yeah... I'm not fast.

I'll also cop to being miles out of shape and parnoid about pulling a hammy or quad, adding a certain Pancakeness to my giddy-up. Though that's getting better of late.

[Tank]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

To be perfectly fair, LoneStar is just drooling over all of the All Star caliber bullpen talent the Cubs have simply waiting in the wings.

Jeff Stevens?

Kevin Hart?

Yay?

Damn right, yay.

Apex, I didn't know you were an actor.

I don't know who this guy is. Is he one of the turds on the Wings that keeps scoring goals and smiling in sweaty interviews. They have an annoying habit.

Christopher Meloni plays hockey naked.

[Slaky]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

To be perfectly fair, LoneStar is just drooling over all of the All Star caliber bullpen talent the Cubs have simply waiting in the wings.

Jeff Stevens?

Kevin Hart?

Yay?

Damn right, yay.

Apex, I didn't know you were an actor.

I don't know who this guy is. Is he one of the turds on the Wings that keeps scoring goals and smiling in sweaty interviews. They have an annoying habit.

Christopher Meloni plays hockey naked.

Excuse me, I have to go hump the fridge.

[RV]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

To be perfectly fair, LoneStar is just drooling over all of the All Star caliber bullpen talent the Cubs have simply waiting in the wings.

Jeff Stevens?

Kevin Hart?

Yay?

Damn right, yay.

Apex, I didn't know you were an actor.

I don't know who this guy is. Is he one of the turds on the Wings that keeps scoring goals and smiling in sweaty interviews. They have an annoying habit.

Christopher Meloni plays hockey naked.

Excuse me, I have to go hump the fridge.

Try not to bump into the shelf. That's where I keep my bottle of dick cream.

[Slaky]

I was really hoping that rocket off of Gregg's wrist would have ended his season. Fucking cumstain.

Why is it the shitty guys never get hurt?

Heilman is a fucking pussy.

Really?  Hoping people get hurt?  That's not very nice. 

To be perfectly fair, LoneStar is just drooling over all of the All Star caliber bullpen talent the Cubs have simply waiting in the wings.

Jeff Stevens?

Kevin Hart?

Yay?

Damn right, yay.

Apex, I didn't know you were an actor.

I don't know who this guy is. Is he one of the turds on the Wings that keeps scoring goals and smiling in sweaty interviews. They have an annoying habit.

Christopher Meloni plays hockey naked.

Excuse me, I have to go hump the fridge.

Try not to bump into the shelf. That's where I keep my bottle of dick cream.

Did you just say dick cream?