The Unresolved Bullpen Angst Thread

[Quality Start Machine]

I used to bitch about Rothschild as much as anyone, possibly more.

But, the proof is in the pudding.

Either that, or there's a mystery coach somewhere the Cubs' pitchers are talking to, and Rothschild is just a front.

I can guarantee you didn't bitch about him as much as I did.

That said, he doesn't raise my ire like he used to.  For every two or three Aaron Heilemans who can't get his shit straight under Rothschild, there's a Randy Wells that provides some sort of validation.

To be fair, you bitch about everything at an equally shrill level.

[Eli]

You don't get paid $10 million a year to walk.

This is stupid.  Of course Bradley doesn't get paid $10 million to walk.  He gets paid $10 million a year to show up at the ballpark when there are games, catch fly balls, not throw them into the stands when there's only one out, hit singles, hit doubles, hit triples, hit home runs, walk, throw the ball to certain places or people depending on the situation, occasionally get hit by a pitch, hit sacrifice flies, run the bases, not make outs, take batting practice, field ground balls when they come to him in the outfield, travel with the team and many, many other things that I haven't listed here.  He's better at some of these than others.

But of all of those things, the biggest single reason he's getting paid $10 million a year is because he can walk.

[MAD]

I used to bitch about Rothschild as much as anyone, possibly more.

But, the proof is in the pudding.

Either that, or there's a mystery coach somewhere the Cubs' pitchers are talking to, and Rothschild is just a front.

I can guarantee you didn't bitch about him as much as I did.

That said, he doesn't raise my ire like he used to.  For every two or three Aaron Heilemans who can't get his shit straight under Rothschild, there's a Randy Wells that provides some sort of validation.

To be fair, you bitch about everything at an equally shrill level.

Perhaps, but I used to carry an especially distinct RAGEBONER for Fraudschild.

[PenFoe]

You don't get paid $10 million a year to walk.

This is stupid.  Of course Bradley doesn't get paid $10 million to walk.  He gets paid $10 million a year to show up at the ballpark when there are games, catch fly balls, not throw them into the stands when there's only one out, hit singles, hit doubles, hit triples, hit home runs, walk, throw the ball to certain places or people depending on the situation, occasionally get hit by a pitch, hit sacrifice flies, run the bases, not make outs, take batting practice, field ground balls when they come to him in the outfield, travel with the team and many, many other things that I haven't listed here.  He's better at some of these than others.

But of all of those things, the biggest single reason he's getting paid $10 million a year is because he can walk.

We get it, you're gay for stats.

[Eli]

You don't get paid $10 million a year to walk.

This is stupid.  Of course Bradley doesn't get paid $10 million to walk.  He gets paid $10 million a year to show up at the ballpark when there are games, catch fly balls, not throw them into the stands when there's only one out, hit singles, hit doubles, hit triples, hit home runs, walk, throw the ball to certain places or people depending on the situation, occasionally get hit by a pitch, hit sacrifice flies, run the bases, not make outs, take batting practice, field ground balls when they come to him in the outfield, travel with the team and many, many other things that I haven't listed here.  He's better at some of these than others.

But of all of those things, the biggest single reason he's getting paid $10 million a year is because he can walk.

We get it, you're gay for stats.

We get it, you ...

Actually, I don't.  Why are you here?

[PenFoe]

You don't get paid $10 million a year to walk.

This is stupid.  Of course Bradley doesn't get paid $10 million to walk.  He gets paid $10 million a year to show up at the ballpark when there are games, catch fly balls, not throw them into the stands when there's only one out, hit singles, hit doubles, hit triples, hit home runs, walk, throw the ball to certain places or people depending on the situation, occasionally get hit by a pitch, hit sacrifice flies, run the bases, not make outs, take batting practice, field ground balls when they come to him in the outfield, travel with the team and many, many other things that I haven't listed here.  He's better at some of these than others.

But of all of those things, the biggest single reason he's getting paid $10 million a year is because he can walk.

We get it, you're gay for stats.

We get it, you ...

Actually, I don't.  Why are you here?

I was told there would be cake at some point.

[Kermit, B.]

You don't get paid $10 million a year to walk.

This is stupid.  Of course Bradley doesn't get paid $10 million to walk.  He gets paid $10 million a year to show up at the ballpark when there are games, catch fly balls, not throw them into the stands when there's only one out, hit singles, hit doubles, hit triples, hit home runs, walk, throw the ball to certain places or people depending on the situation, occasionally get hit by a pitch, hit sacrifice flies, run the bases, not make outs, take batting practice, field ground balls when they come to him in the outfield, travel with the team and many, many other things that I haven't listed here.  He's better at some of these than others.

But of all of those things, the biggest single reason he's getting paid $10 million a year is because he can walk.

We get it, you're gay for stats.

We get it, you ...

Actually, I don't.  Why are you here?

I was told there would be cake at some point.

[Saul Goodman]

Maybe when The Genius leaves St. Louis, Hendry can hire Dave Duncan.  That will solve everything!!!

[Internet Apex]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

[Slaky]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

[Quality Start Machine]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

You play? We could use a guy like you on our team.

[Internet Apex]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

You play? We could use a guy like you on our team.

What do you mean "our" team? This is me and Slaky and Lantz and Oleg and Weebs' team he's referring to. The one you said you'd rather pound penny nails into your junk than play for. We start our championship season in 11 days. That 18 week clusterfuck you were involved in? Training camp, old man. Thanks for helping with OTAs. We won't forget you. 

[Quality Start Machine]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

You play? We could use a guy like you on our team.

What do you mean "our" team? This is me and Slaky and Lantz and Oleg and Weebs' team he's referring to. The one you said you'd rather pound penny nails into your junk than play for. We start our championship season in 11 days. That 18 week clusterfuck you were involved in? Training camp, old man. Thanks for helping with OTAs. We won't forget you. 

Slak was a dillitante in the summer league, so shall he be again.

[Internet Apex]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

You play? We could use a guy like you on our team.

What do you mean "our" team? This is me and Slaky and Lantz and Oleg and Weebs' team he's referring to. The one you said you'd rather pound penny nails into your junk than play for. We start our championship season in 11 days. That 18 week clusterfuck you were involved in? Training camp, old man. Thanks for helping with OTAs. We won't forget you. 

Slak was a dillitante in the summer league, so shall he be again.

Slak's playoff beard will drink the club soda of the nonbelievers.

[Quality Start Machine]

Christ on a...

This is the Signature Thread of the 2009 Cubs. I hate it more than life itself. I'm dying to unlock the Turdthrow Thread. Dying.

But there's no point. Fuckall.

Football and hockey and sixteen inch softball. Say it with me. We're gonna make it.

You play? We could use a guy like you on our team.

What do you mean "our" team? This is me and Slaky and Lantz and Oleg and Weebs' team he's referring to. The one you said you'd rather pound penny nails into your junk than play for. We start our championship season in 11 days. That 18 week clusterfuck you were involved in? Training camp, old man. Thanks for helping with OTAs. We won't forget you. 

Slak was a dillitante in the summer league, so shall he be again.

Slak's playoff beard will drink the club soda of the nonbelievers.

Slak's playoff beard is a ShamWOW!