The Chicago Shite Sox

[Oleg]

Also speaking of the Sox, Snork declining that 85 million extension is looking like one of the bigger dodged bullets in Cubs history. Because he said no they ended up with Addison Russell and without that dude's 4.62 ERA, 4.09 xFIP, and rapidly declining K/9 and groundball %.

Right now, my Sox schradenfreude is most concentrated in Samardzija. The Cubs sold early and high on him and got a potentially above-average 21 year old SS (and the early returns are certainly not disappointing for Russell) a player that splintered off into Dexter Fowler and another potential above-average prospect in McKinney--and Hammel coming back means that all of this effectively only cost the Cubs Samardzija (and, to be fair, Valbuena) who--with a year remaining on his contract as he was sold early remember--then fails to elevate the Sox into contention in his contract year as was the hope behind the Sox trading prospects for him...but does just well enough in just the right number of opportunities to engender false hope that the Sox would compete, rendering them compelled to keep him...probably too long as it turns out as they couldn't sell him early or late, and may just get a worthless ole' compensation pick for all of their hassle.  That's what I'm enjoying.

*warms hands over schadenfreude fire*

That's one hell of a sentence, Al.

Which Cubs hat was PANK wearing at the time?

batting tron helmet, natch.

You're even terrible at your own dead horse jokes.

[Quality Start Machine]

Also speaking of the Sox, Snork declining that 85 million extension is looking like one of the bigger dodged bullets in Cubs history. Because he said no they ended up with Addison Russell and without that dude's 4.62 ERA, 4.09 xFIP, and rapidly declining K/9 and groundball %.

Right now, my Sox schradenfreude is most concentrated in Samardzija. The Cubs sold early and high on him and got a potentially above-average 21 year old SS (and the early returns are certainly not disappointing for Russell) a player that splintered off into Dexter Fowler and another potential above-average prospect in McKinney--and Hammel coming back means that all of this effectively only cost the Cubs Samardzija (and, to be fair, Valbuena) who--with a year remaining on his contract as he was sold early remember--then fails to elevate the Sox into contention in his contract year as was the hope behind the Sox trading prospects for him...but does just well enough in just the right number of opportunities to engender false hope that the Sox would compete, rendering them compelled to keep him...probably too long as it turns out as they couldn't sell him early or late, and may just get a worthless ole' compensation pick for all of their hassle.  That's what I'm enjoying.

*warms hands over schadenfreude fire*

That's one hell of a sentence, Al.

Which Cubs hat was PANK wearing at the time?

batting tron helmet, natch.

You're even terrible at your own dead horse jokes.

There's no such thing as a Cubs Tron Helmet. So this joke, like so many other things, went over your head.

[Saul Goodman]

I was perusing Mr. Penderloin's Twitter dot com feed and Slak found this old PAUL SULLIVAN tweet posted shortly after the Cubs got Jake Arrieta:

Samardzija on O's trade: "I don't think this team improves by trading Scott Feldman."

Classic Shark. I hope the Sox re-sign that meathead and he descends into John Danks-level bad.

[Quality Start Machine]

I was perusing Mr. Penderloin's Twitter dot com feed and Slak found this old PAUL SULLIVAN tweet posted shortly after the Cubs got Jake Arrieta:

Samardzija on O's trade: "I don't think this team improves by trading Scott Feldman."

Classic Shark. I hope the Sox re-sign that meathead and he descends into John Danks-level bad.

and I hope he becomes their GM after he retires.

[Brownie]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

[Yeti]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

[InternetApex]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

[Yeti]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

[Saul Goodman]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

How does tasteful nude photography play with the Christian right?


I think the real question in all this should be: Why is Brownie recklessly endangering his health watching White Sox baseball?

[Brownie]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

Steve Stone used to take Yom Kippur Cubs games off. Ken Harrelson, is Greek Orthodox, which probably doesn't fit into the Faith Day framework, either, nor does Ed Farmer's Catholicism. In fact those three religions probably make up a good portion of the White Sox ticket-holding base.

[InternetApex]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

Steve Stone used to take Yom Kippur Cubs games off. Ken Harrelson, is Greek Orthodox, which probably doesn't fit into the Faith Day framework, either, nor does Ed Farmer's Catholicism. In fact those three religions probably make up a good portion of the White Sox ticket-holding base.

Growing up in Buttpuddle I had no idea what Yom Kippur was except that Steve Stone didn't work that day. "It's a Jewish holy day," my former nun mother told me. And that was that. Later in my childhood I met actual Jews and they worked and went to school on Jewish holidays and I was like wtf.

[Oleg]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

Steve Stone used to take Yom Kippur Cubs games off. Ken Harrelson, is Greek Orthodox, which probably doesn't fit into the Faith Day framework, either, nor does Ed Farmer's Catholicism. In fact those three religions probably make up a good portion of the White Sox ticket-holding base.

Growing up in Buttpuddle I had no idea what Yom Kippur was except that Steve Stone didn't work that day. "It's a Jewish holy day," my former nun mother told me. And that was that. Later in my childhood I met actual Jews and they worked and went to school on Jewish holidays and I was like wtf.

I like bacon.  Sue me.

[CBStew]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

Steve Stone used to take Yom Kippur Cubs games off. Ken Harrelson, is Greek Orthodox, which probably doesn't fit into the Faith Day framework, either, nor does Ed Farmer's Catholicism. In fact those three religions probably make up a good portion of the White Sox ticket-holding base.

Growing up in Buttpuddle I had no idea what Yom Kippur was except that Steve Stone didn't work that day. "It's a Jewish holy day," my former nun mother told me. And that was that. Later in my childhood I met actual Jews and they worked and went to school on Jewish holidays and I was like wtf.

I like bacon.  Sue me.

Bacon? Phooey!  It's traif!    Translation, not Kosher

[CBStew]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

It's head-scratching that one of the guys who is on the White Sox TV broadcasts is promoting the event? Or is there something about Steve Stone's religion I don't know?

You really don't know that Steve's Jewish? He always took the Jewish holidays off.

No, I didn't. I don't know why I would have cared.

Steve Stone used to take Yom Kippur Cubs games off. Ken Harrelson, is Greek Orthodox, which probably doesn't fit into the Faith Day framework, either, nor does Ed Farmer's Catholicism. In fact those three religions probably make up a good portion of the White Sox ticket-holding base.

Growing up in Buttpuddle I had no idea what Yom Kippur was except that Steve Stone didn't work that day. "It's a Jewish holy day," my former nun mother told me. And that was that. Later in my childhood I met actual Jews and they worked and went to school on Jewish holidays and I was like wtf.

The reason that the Cubs lost the pennant to the Giants in 1989 was that DJ and I went to the morning Yom Kippur service but played hookey during the afternoon service and went to Candlestick.  We got back in time for the evening and concluding services, but it was too little, too late.   God punished us.  I know that if I had stayed in the synagogue, God would have let the Cubs win just to flaunt his power.  So you can blame me. 

[Slaky]

God may give me eternity, but clearly that is not enough time to write the irreverent jokes about the White Sox latest promotional day. I first learned of this promotion last night when Steve Stone read the promo at the start of an inning. Seeing that Adam LaRoche, Gordon Beckham, and Zach Duke (all outspoken evangelicals) will speak before introducing Willie "Duck Dynasty" Robertson, there's the head-scratching irony of Jerry Reinsdorf's club having Steve Stone promote the event.

Can Adam LaRoche (the event's apparent organizer) hit a curveball?

Holy shit.