Randy Wells Splooge-a-thon

[TDubbs]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

Yeah, and it it's a pretty ineffective deterrent as well as being just flat-out mean.

Heeeere we go.  We get it, you have dogs. 

My cat shits in a litter box.

My cat secretly shits in LA Gil's toilet.

She has a lot of privacy, with Gil at the strip club 24x7.

That's a tiny stripclub.

[Gil Gunderson]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

Yeah, and it it's a pretty ineffective deterrent as well as being just flat-out mean.

Heeeere we go.  We get it, you have dogs. 

My cat shits in a litter box.

My cat secretly shits in LA Gil's toilet.

She has a lot of privacy, with Gil at the strip club 24x7.

That's a tiny stripclub.

It's not a liquid garbage can, people!!!

[CubFaninHydePark]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

Yeah, and it it's a pretty ineffective deterrent as well as being just flat-out mean.

Heeeere we go.  We get it, you have dogs. 

My cat shits in a litter box.

My cat secretly shits in LA Gil's toilet.

She has a lot of privacy, with Gil at the strip club 24x7.

That's a tiny stripclub.

It's not a liquid garbage can LA Gil's wind pants, people!!!

Proper Strip Club Attire'd.

[Internet Apex]

This thread is starting to suck worse than Jason Marquis after the All-Star Break.

[flannj]

A month or so ago I wanted SeanBearPig over Wells to start because I felt he earned it.


Look at me, wrong again. On both counts.

[MAD]

At what point do we go from expecting the other shoe to drop to just expecting this type of performance?

[CT III]

At what point do we go from expecting the other shoe to drop to just expecting this type of performance?

I expect nothing from Randy Wells everytime out, and everytime out I am pleasantly surprised.

I like that feeling and don't plan on changing anything in the way I mentally prepare for a Randy Wells' start.

[Kermit, B.]

A month or so ago I wanted SeanBearPig over Wells to start because I felt he earned it.


Look at me, wrong again. On both counts.

Me too, and as ridiculous as Wells has been in the rotation, SeanBearPig has been equally filthy out of the bullpen.  Someone should pay Lou to make these decisions.

[*In a Nutsack]

That now makes 10 of Wells' 11 starts in which he doesn't give up more than three runs.  He's given up less than three runs in 9 of those 11 starts.  If he had any kind of run support in his first five starts, he'd be 7-0.  To boot, his ERA is at 2.43 with a 1.079 WHIP and just flat-out balltastic 45/14 K/BB ratio.  I remember receiving many shit flingings for being fine with SeanBearPig in the bullpen, but that's because he was infinitely better than Neal Cotts as the lone left handed reliever.  I had no idea Randy Wells would pitch this well.

I hope I can maitain CT's level of expectance for a Randy Wells start and continually be pleasantly surprised by the result.

Oh, yeah.  Splooge.

[Quality Start Machine]

Someone has to bring up Rookie of the Year, and right now he's at least on the leaderboard.

[morpheus]

Someone has to bring up Rookie of the Year, and right now he's at least on the leaderboard.

BUT HE'S ONLY WON FOUR GAMES!

[Internet Apex]

Someone has to bring up Rookie of the Year, and right now he's at least on the leaderboard.

Nah, that movie was shit. I have to admit that my expectations for Wells starts are higher than any other Cubs starter not about to be put on waivers by Phil and his angry minions.

[*In a Nutsack]

I hate bad baseball, and this team certainly played bad baseball for Aramis's 50-game injury rehab.  But, I can't find it within myself to be that damn ANGRY about a team that managed to be one game over .500 and 2.5 games out of first place upon their star's return, and before the All-Star break natch.  The Cubs will win the division by 7 games.

I guess this stems from me reading FDB2 this morning.  THAT makes me REDFACEDANGRY.

[Eli]

Statfaggy splooge over Randy Wells' slider.  According to this, he's had the third-best slider in baseball this year, behind Zack Greinke and some moron Canadian pitcher.

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/who-are-you-randy-wells/

[Weebs]

Statfaggy splooge over Randy Wells' slider.  According to this, he's had the third-best slider in baseball this year, behind Zack Greinke and some moron Canadian pitcher.

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/who-are-you-randy-wells/

Him?