Score some fucking runs thread

[Bonk]

Hoff POWER gets it done.

[Bonk]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

[Bonk]

Fuck.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Nice roster you put together there Jim.

[Internet Apex]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

Gross.

[LoneStarCubFan]

On a positive note, we didn't have to watch Kevin Gregg piss down his leg again.

[Slaky]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

Gross.

How you plan on getting in there? Innerspace?

[Eli]

Nice roster you put together there Jim.

You are the worst.

[Bonk]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

Gross.

How you plan on getting in there? Innerspace?

Holy shit, I really typed that. I think that's enough beer for one night.

Kicking was supposed to be in that sentence somewhere.

[CubFaninHydePark]

They do this sometimes. Slump together and threaten not to score for a week. It happened a couple times last year and we all yelled at the TV for awhile. They eventually righted the ship and made the playoffs. Then in October they thought it would be awesome to do just this very thing. I hate it when this happens. I get depressed. I start thinking about horrible things. I need to sleep and not dream. Visit death's cousin. I'll send him your love.

That's pretty much the truth. The starting pitching has been consistently good so I'm not at all concerned. Clearly they cannot get worse than this, offensively speaking.

The good times are yet to come.

That said - this is fucking irritating.

This. But goddammit.

I mean, I wouldn't say I'm worried about it. I do really hate it. Last year some friends were talking about how awesome the Cubs were and how they'd roll in the playoffs against any team. I kept thinking the same thing but wondering if they'd decide to take this team-wide buddy dump at the least opportune time and what effect that would have on everybody involved. The more I thought about it the more I thought it was going to happen and tried to tell myself it wasn't.

Then... it happened. So what if it happens again? So what? JAKEUTLER MOTHERBITCHEZZZ!

Jay-Cutt(l)er is exciting and all, but it's gonna take more than one day of grown men playing something on the skirt-side of touch football to get him to get me to lock the drawer with sharp objects...as excited as I am about the Cutt(l)er.

In an effort to answer your charge, because I'd only do it for you (and maybe Fork--sorry Slakee...maybe if you'd have tossed back shots at the Billy Goat with me on my birthday), I'm not too concerned.  If your surprised that a lineup with: a Mendoza-hitting, once-ROY catcher; a first-baseman who's claim to fame is being washed-up on a beach nicer than Jersey Shore; and a player who proves Chuck right at least 4/7...if not 5/7 days...oh, and the pet rock (my new name for Aaron Miles after reading Dolan's last post) getting at least 1AB/game....is getting shutout through 17.2 against this Tards' staff...

Then you need to go out and live life and find something that would genuinely surprise you.

The numbers in the Cubs' lineup (including starting pitching)...like the Hawks' numbers in the playoffs...add up to two losses in as many games.

I think that the Cubs' numbers are more likely to change for the better...but I'd be lying if my optimism wasn't rooted in our pitching and pretty much not in this joke of an offense that is taking the field night in and night out.  Even the Shittsburgh Pirates have to be able to score more consistently than this...and we haven't played them yet.

There's room for hope, and it comes to town next Monday.  For now, be thankful that Milton isn't Brandon Moss, and Soto isn't whoever is replacing Doumit?  Oh how...

[Internet Apex]

I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.

Gross.

How you plan on getting in there? Innerspace?

Holy shit, I really typed that. I think that's enough beer for one night.

Kicking was supposed to be in that sentence somewhere.

Gross.

[Andre Dawson's Creek]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

Gross.

How you plan on getting in there? Innerspace?

Holy shit, I really typed that. I think that's enough beer for one night.

Kicking was supposed to be in that sentence somewhere.

I still don't think that's right.

Kicking I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
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[morpheus]

Jay-Cutt(l)er

What does this mean?

[CBStew]

I want the asshole Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the dick.

Gross.

How you plan on getting in there? Innerspace?

Holy shit, I really typed that. I think that's enough beer for one night.

Kicking was supposed to be in that sentence somewhere.

I still don't think that's right.

Kicking I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I kicking want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I want kicking the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I want the kicking dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
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I want the dick Cubs fan kicking on his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on kicking his cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his kicking cell phone behind home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell kicking phone behind home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone kicking behind home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind kicking home in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home kicking  in the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in kicking the asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the kicking  asshole.
I want the dick Cubs fan on his cell phone behind home in the asshole kicking .

I admire your dedication to research.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Jay-Cutt(l)er

What does this mean?

I was pretty hammered--but I think that the 'Cutter' would be a good nickname.  I think that's what it means.