Score some fucking runs thread

[BH]

They do this sometimes. Slump together and threaten not to score for a week. It happened a couple times last year and we all yelled at the TV for awhile. They eventually righted the ship and made the playoffs. Then in October they thought it would be awesome to do just this very thing. I hate it when this happens. I get depressed. I start thinking about horrible things. I need to sleep and not dream. Visit death's cousin. I'll send him your love.

That's pretty much the truth. The starting pitching has been consistently good so I'm not at all concerned. Clearly they cannot get worse than this, offensively speaking.

The good times are yet to come.

That said - this is fucking irritating.

Also, the starting pitching really hasn't been THAT good.  Lilly and Marshall have been terrific.  The other three have underperformed.  I predict that we'll come back and laugh at this thread in July.  Or, if they're 14 games out at that point, at least we can come back and laugh at this post.

We could also always reference this:

Harvey, Pie and Patterson, left -to-right, in 2007.

[Andy]

Get off Mike's case, he was projecting the outfield of the Orioles.

[LoneStarCubFan]

.

[LoneStarCubFan]

Aaron Miles. The New Neifi.

[Reuschels_Jowls]

Two damned runs in the last four games? Seriously?

Every single player on this team better be taking someone home from the bar at 3 a.m. tonight.

[Bonk]

I'm really glad the Cubs didn't re-sign Edmonds and get Orlando Hudson, who between them would make half of what Badley's making to hit .184. Way to go, Hendry.

Fuck this team with a limp dick.

[CT III]

Aaron Miles. The New Neifi.

Mike Fontenot, the New Aaron Miles.

[Bonk]

The new Mike Tyson. Not the boxer.

[Simmer]

Where the hell are the bats?

If Jim Edmonds is the answer, could you repeat the question?

Other people pointed it out -- lots of underperformers, lots of guys missing time, etc.  But, still, it would be nice to see someone in a Cubs uniform cross home plate sometime soon.  Anytime.  Soon.  NOW.

[Bonk]

I'm not suggesting Edmonds is the answer, but the $10M the team is paying Badley would be better served being set ablaze. I'd rather see Edmonds on the team for $500K and see the remaining $9.5M used elsewhere.

Like on a second baseman that could either field or hit above .220 or maybe a reliever that could get an out occasionally.

[MAD]

I'm not suggesting Edmonds is the answer, but the $10M the team is paying Badley would be better served being set ablaze. I'd rather see Edmonds on the team for $500K and see the remaining $9.5M used elsewhere.

Like on a second baseman that could either field or hit above .220 or maybe a reliever that could get an out occasionally.

Bullpen's been fine. 

Heileman, on the other hand, may need to be launched into god's country.

[Brownie]

I'm not suggesting Edmonds is the answer, but the $10M the team is paying Badley would be better served being set ablaze. I'd rather see Edmonds on the team for $500K and see the remaining $9.5M used elsewhere.

Like on a second baseman that could either field or hit above .220 or maybe a reliever that could get an out occasionally.

Where did Edmonds say he'd come back for $500K? I would think he'd want something in the 5-6 million range.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Where the hell are the bats?

Lee - Gone and likely never to return
A Sor - In the middle of one of his patented slumps
A Ram - DL
Soto - injury
Fontenot - who knows
Jacque Bradley - Who knows

[Tank]

Jacque Bradley

I know you're gonna try (and try and try and try) to make this stick, but that dog won't hunt, mijo.

[MAD]

Jacque Bradley

I know you're gonna try (and try and try and try) to make this stick, but that dog won't hunt, mijo.

I will be the first to link to this after Bradley's 23-for-51 streak in July brings his average to .290 on the season.