Score some fucking runs thread

[CubFaninHydePark]

Intrepid Reader: Randy Wells

Is it too late for me to go back to Iowa?

[Tank]

Bump.

That instead of starting a thread called "Can the Cubs ever advance a runner that gets on to lead off an inning?"

Fuck this team. I actually get excited watching an inning for probably the first time all year, and these dipshits strand another three.  Cocksuckers.

You're awesome, too.

[MAD]

Intrepid Reader: Randy Wells

Is it too late for me to go back to Iowa?

Huh?

[Chuck to Chuck]

Intrepid Reader: Randy Wells

Is it too late for me to go back to Iowa?

Huh?

Given that the I-Cubs on the "major league" roster scored 1 run yesterday and the "regular" Cubs scored zero, maybe Wells would want to go to Des Moines to play with the better team.

[RV]

God damn that game sucked last night. Too many DPs (no homo) for me to count on my non-opposable-thumbed paw, and the 8th and 9th innings were terrible. It's always fun when Soriano is in his "swing at every pitch no matter how godawful with men on base" mode. And what the hell was he thinking with that bunt attempt? I have to say I'm looking forward to seeing Chunk Fox play some more third base. I think he nearly sharted his drawers when that hot shot was hit at him in the 9th.

[PenFoe]

God damn that game sucked last night. Too many DPs (no homo) for me to count on my non-opposable-thumbed paw, and the 8th and 9th innings were terrible. It's always fun when Soriano is in his "swing at every pitch no matter how godawful with men on base" mode. And what the hell was he thinking with that bunt attempt? I have to say I'm looking forward to seeing Chunk Fox play some more third base. I think he nearly sharted his drawers when that hot shot was hit at him in the 9th.

That Soriano AB was a complete embarrassment last night.
Theriot following it up with a DP was obviously killer as well.

Granted, SCALES has got to make some contact in the 9th, and Jake had a chance too, but Soriano really takes the cake for that pathetic attempt.
It was like watching Sosa at his very worst.

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

[Chuck to Chuck]

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

He's not very good at baseball, either.  He does get 3 or 4 hitting spurts a year that last a week or so that fake everyone out, but he remains an awful, awful baseball player.

[morpheus]

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

He's not very good at baseball, either.  He does get 3 or 4 hitting spurts a year that last a week or so that fake everyone out, but he remains an awful, awful baseball player.

Let's review: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/soriaal01.shtml

Lifetime OPS of .845.  Lifetime OPS+ of 116.  As a Cub, those are .876 and 119 respectively.  However, I grant you that if we take out the "fake-out" times (i.e., the times he plays baseball well) then his numbers probably are not as good.

[Eli]

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

He's not very good at baseball, either.  He does get 3 or 4 hitting spurts a year that last a week or so that fake everyone out, but he remains an awful, awful baseball player. I'm a parody of myself!  Yay!

FYC'd.

[Jon]

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

He's not very good at baseball, either.  He does get 3 or 4 hitting spurts a year that last a week or so that fake everyone out, but he remains an awful, awful baseball player. I'm a parody of myself!  Yay!

FYC'd.

Internet Chuck is my favorite fictional character.

[Apexx]

At some point, when a team is struggling, the "stars" have got to be the ones to put the team on their back.
With Aramis out and Milton apparently not very good at baseball, that leaves Soriano.

He's not very good at baseball, either.  He does get 3 or 4 hitting spurts a year that last a week or so that fake everyone out, but he remains an awful, awful baseball player. I'm a parody of myself!  Yay!

FYC'd.

Internet Chuck is my favorite fictional character.

He fucked a barrel full of rice and got it pregnant. A big pile of rice popped out.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Let's review: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/soriaal01.shtml

Lifetime OPS of .845.  Lifetime OPS+ of 116.  As a Cub, those are .876 and 119 respectively.  However, I grant you that if we take out the "fake-out" times (i.e., the times he plays baseball well) then his numbers probably are not as good.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/k/kingmda01.shtml

Dave Kingman: Lifetime OPS of .780, but lifetime OPS+ of 116.   As a Cub, those are .907 and 137 respectively.

Cub Kingman > Cub Soriano via OPS analysis.

[morpheus]

Let's review: http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/soriaal01.shtml

Lifetime OPS of .845.  Lifetime OPS+ of 116.  As a Cub, those are .876 and 119 respectively.  However, I grant you that if we take out the "fake-out" times (i.e., the times he plays baseball well) then his numbers probably are not as good.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/k/kingmda01.shtml

Dave Kingman: Lifetime OPS of .780, but lifetime OPS+ of 116.   As a Cub, those are .907 and 137 respectively.

Cub Kingman > Cub Soriano via OPS analysis.

It could very well be, Chuck, that Dave Kingman was worth more to the Cubs than you seem to think.

[Brownie]

Al Yellon: "Hoffpauir sucked during his September callup if you exclude the games where he got hits."

Chuck: "Soriano was terrible unless you include the once-a-month week-and-a-half spurts where he's the best hitter you'd see anywhere."

[Chuck to Chuck]

Al Yellon: "Hoffpauir sucked during his September callup if you exclude the games where he got hits."

Chuck: "Soriano was is terrible unless you include the once-a every-other-month week-and-a-half spurts where he's the best hitter you'd see anywhere which makes him tolerable so long as you ignore his defense."