Score some fucking runs thread

[Slaky]

6 hits in 13 fucking innings?  First and third, nobody out, 2-3-4 coming up and nothing?

That whole facing shitty pitching and getting runs thing is off to a great start.  This offense is absolutely fucking pathetic right now.

Just right now? Where the fuck have you been?

Writing about how awesome Pittsburgh sports are, probably.

And constantly misspelling the name of his favorite hockey team's goalie. Which for some reason drives me up a wall.

[BC]

Here's what I keep saying to myself: 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column.

Of course, Houston's only 4 back in the loss column and everyone knows they have still yet to unleash the SNEAK ATTACK!

[Quality Start Machine]

Here's what I keep saying to myself: 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column.

Saying it once is probably sufficient.

The Cubs are playing unbelievably shitty baseball, and yet are still in it. Once they play to their capabilities, they'll get out in front and build a lead.

[*In a Nutsack]

The Cubs will win this division by 10 games.

[MAD]

Here's what I keep saying to myself: 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column.

Saying it once is probably sufficient.

The Cubs are playing unbelievably shitty baseball, and yet are still in it. Once they play to their capabilities, they'll get out in front and build a lead.

In 2007 the Cubs were sort of like this team and made the playoffs.

In 2008 the Cubs were the greatest, record-wise, in our lifetimes and they made the playoffs.

Both time they got swept.

Watching this team right now is like pouring turpentine in one's bunghole, but you have to remember that we're waiting for the playoffs.  Thanks to the short bus division they're in, they can afford to fumble around like this, just like they did in '07.  If they make the playoffs and actually win some games/series, nobody will dwell on how awful they are right now.

I want to punch half the team when I'm watching them.  Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.  Last season proved that how you play during the regular season does not forecast how well you'd play in the playoffs, so I'm willing to ride this out, while laughing at the screaming nancies like LoneStar who actually profess their hatred for this team.

[Waco Kid]

Here's what I keep saying to myself: 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column.

Saying it once is probably sufficient.

The Cubs are playing unbelievably shitty baseball, and yet are still in it. Once they play to their capabilities, along with the return of Aramis Ramirez, they'll get out in front and build a lead.

Pancakes'd

[MAD]

Here's what I keep saying to myself: 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column. 1 back in the loss column.

Saying it once is probably sufficient.

The Cubs are playing unbelievably shitty baseball, and yet are still in it. Once they play to their capabilities, along with the return of Aramis Ramirez, they'll get out in front and build a lead.

Pancakes'd

As awesome as Pancakes is, his presence alone won't save this team if Soriano, Soto, and Bradley continue to not hit.  I'd get on Fontenot to pick it up too, but I think he just sucks rhinocerous taint.  Nonetheless, those other three need to stop being shitty at hitting the baseball.  Today would be a good start.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.

Correct.  This regular season is a waste of our time.  This season is all about October success.  No October wins means the season was a failure, regardless of why they got no wins in October (swept or non-participation).

[*In a Nutsack]

Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.

Correct.  This regular season is a waste of our time.  This season is all about October success.  No October wins means the season was a failure, regardless of why they got no wins in October (swept or non-participation).

Even a 1080p HD 47" flatscreen TV can't make the way they're playing look better.  That's just me hating bad baseball, though.  I don't care how they limp to the playoffs, as long as they get there.  I just wish they could make it look a little better, for my own selfish reasons.

The good news is, at least, that they are pitching tits out.  I remember watching a game the other day where there was a fancy graphic with some numbers and such on it that showed how the Cubs are the best in the league, pitching-wise, with runners in scoring position with less than two outs (or something to that effect).  And, the margin wasn't even close.

I'm thinking that 2 runs per game won't last long for these guys, especially when Rammy gets back.

PS, Geoff Blum is a cockgobbling dickrocket.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Even a 1080p HD 47" flatscreen TV can't make the way they're playing look better. 

That's because 1080p isn't discernible from 1080i until you are at 50 inches or greater.

[Jon]

Even a 1080p HD 47" flatscreen TV can't make the way they're playing look better. 

That's because 1080p isn't discernible from 1080i until you are at 50 inches or greater.

There's a cock size joke to be made there, but I'm not Fork enough to make it.

[Slaky]

Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.

Correct.  This regular season is a waste of our time.  This season is all about October success.  No October wins means the season was a failure, regardless of why they got no wins in October (swept or non-participation).

I can only speak for people I know, but last year's playoff failure really did a fucking number on everyone's ability to watch this team normally.

[Tank]

Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.

Correct.  This regular season is a waste of our time.  This season is all about October success.  No October wins means the season was a failure, regardless of why they got no wins in October (swept or non-participation).

I can only speak for people I know, but last year2003's playoff failure really did a fucking number on everyone's ability to watch this team normally.

Which dare not speak its name'd

But, yeah... Last year sucked a lot, too.

[Philberto]

Even a 1080p HD 47" flatscreen TV can't make the way they're playing look better. 

That's because 1080p isn't discernible from 1080i until you are at 50 inches or greater.

There's a cock size joke to be made there, but I'm not Fork enough to make it.

Trust me, IAN's at 50 inches or greater.

[MAD]

Then I take a breath and remind myself that none of this fucking matters so long as they make the playoffs.

Correct.  This regular season is a waste of our time.  This season is all about October success.  No October wins means the season was a failure, regardless of why they got no wins in October (swept or non-participation).

I can only speak for people I know, but last year's playoff failure really did a fucking number on everyone's ability to watch this team normally.

I don't even blame the playoffs.  Remember how, during the season last season, how so many cockfaces--even around here--became unhinged whenever the Cubs were in one of their rare funks, as if some of these anus warts just woke up and assumed that a 162-game season is supposed to be stress free?  

No, this goes deeper, IMHO.  Some sort of amalgam of modernity, instant communication access, and the <old man waving his cane from his front porch> idiocy of today's instant gratification-seeking youth. </old man waving his cane from his front porch>

Regardless, speaking for the here and now, I'd very much enjoy this team to get more than one run a game.

Edited to point out that Thrill's observation about 2003 also seems pretty spot-on.