Score some fucking runs thread

[Slaky]

I no longer care if this makes me sound like Lonestar.

This team fucking blows.

[Waco Kid]

This offense has been as putrid as a fart-soaked corpse for a month and a half now.

Team stats since Aramis went on the DL:

.243 BA, .707 OPS

With runners in scoring position:

.223 BA, .659 OPS

Yeah, Aramis is awesome and some dropoff was to be expected, and they're still only 1 back in the loss column. But watching this shitshow day after day is starting to invoke LoneStar levels of rage in me. Why has the offense turned into the Washington Athleticbacks?

Between Miles and Fontenot the lineup is anchored with dead weight. Any bench options to get one of these two out of the lineup are limited because of the dead weight that is David Patton. Bradley is a sack of shit.

[Slaky]

Aaron Miles - do players get any worse than this? He's making me long for Neifi.

[BichetteHappens]

Aaron Miles and his dwarfish features makes me vomit everytime I see him.

Fuck him in his David the Gnome-esque ass.

[Kermit, B.]

Aaron Miles - do players get any worse than this? He's making me long for Neifi.

Neifi is such a better ballplayer than Miles is.  It sucks so bad to say that, but it's true.

[Brownie]

I don't care if I sound like Chuck, but Soriano has been a joke this year. Not many FYC moments since April.

[Internet Apex]

I no longer care if I sound like BH. Italian beef sammiches with extra hot peppers and mozzarella fucking rule. Also, I like beer.

[RV]

I don't care if I sound like Chuck, but Soriano has been a joke this year and I'm loving every minute of it! Not many FYC moments since April.

If you really want to sound like Chuck'd

[fiveouts]

I can't believe Jim Hendry's "we need guys who swing poorly from the left side of the plate" plan failed.  It seemed so foolproof. 

[Brownie]

Freudian Slip by Pat Hughes: "Bradley to try to lead off here."

[Chuck to Chuck]

Aaron Miles - do players get any worse than this? He's making me long for Neifi.

Hendry gave them both two year contracts when no one else had offered them anything.  So...

[Brownie]

Someone needs to put Miles in the same place with a dead woman or a live boy. Now.

[BichetteHappens]

Adam Dunns' defense would of made us 16-45 right now or some shit. I mean look how much he's helping the Nationals! Fuck you Dunn. No one needs your 17 homeruns or OPS+ of 146! Im quite happy with the 5 homeruns and OPS+ of 86 that injury-prone Crazy Uncle Milton is giving us!


/end NSBB style post.

Fuck todays game.

[Andy]

Why doesn't Lou just do what Leyland did to Neifi?  Put some greenies in his coffee, make sure he gets tested and then 50 games without pay!

Then when he comes back, you do it again, 100 more!

It's just crazy enough to work.  Too bad the Cubs aren't.

[Weebs]

This team fucking sucks.  I was at the game today and the fact that any Cubs fans could talk shit to a Sox fan (and vice versa, they suck too) is flatout retarded.  I had to sit there for 9 innings as some fucktwats behind me dissected every play like they knew what the fuck they were talking about.  All the while, the meth head with the "MONEY MIKE" Sox jersey four rows up was shouting that apparently Jim Thome was the shit, despite showing up for a single pinch-hit late in the game.  I wanted to shove all of them down the stairs, but this team doesn't even deserve that much of an emotional response from me.  Fuck everybody on this team not named Derrek Lee or Ted Lilly.