Totally Unlistenable

[SKO]

If I'm not mistaken, Tim Ryan said earlier that Russell Wilson throws on the run like the second baseman for the Colorado Rockies.

Jonathan Herrera?

DJ LeMahieu?

He sounds angry when things don't go for Seattle.

Why you hate the Bears, Tim?

Also loved when they talked about how huge it was for Seattle to win the coin toss. No shit? Getting the ball first in overtime is huge? NO WAY.

[Wheezer]

This evening, Milt advances his opinion, vis-à-vis gay marriage, that "we are depopulating the Western Caucasian nations." Nice work, four-eyes.

[Saul Goodman]

I don't know who the Angels' play-by-play man is, but he is annoying to listen to.

1. He criticized the Cubs' signing of Edwin Jackson to "a long-term deal" because of his career .500 win-loss record.
2. Albert Almora came to the plate and he had no idea who he was.  You should probably know who the #2 prospect in the other team's organization is if you're calling the game.  I'm sure Len Kasper knew who Mike Trout was a spring training or two ago.
3. He called the Cubs minor-league outfielder Chavez, who is tall, athletic, and black, "Soto" instead.  Soto is much shorter and light-skinned.
4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

[Quality Start Machine]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

[Bort]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

I think there's also a damn nerd Star Trek reference to be made here, but not by me. TEC? SKO?

[SKO]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

I think there's also a damn nerd Star Trek reference to be made here, but not by me. TEC? SKO?

Really? No Gil? And yeah, the Star Trek joke would be that he finds himself in a lot of unwinnable situations.

[Chuck to Chuck]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

I think there's also a damn nerd Star Trek reference to be made here, but not by me. TEC? SKO?

Really? No Gil? And yeah, the Star Trek joke would be that he finds himself in a lot of unwinnable situations.

He was a great consigliere for Keyser Soze.

[Gilgamesh]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

I think there's also a damn nerd Star Trek reference to be made here, but not by me. TEC? SKO?

Really? No Gil? And yeah, the Star Trek joke would be that he finds himself in a lot of unwinnable situations.

All he'd need to do would be to sneak in and reprogram that computer.

[CBStew]

4. Best of all, the Angels put a reliever named Kobayashi in the game who is from Japan and pitched in Japan last year.  The Angels' voice wizard called him "the former Japanese pitcher."  Pretty sure he's still Japanese regardless of where he signs to play.

Kobayashi hasn't been the same since this.

I think there's also a damn nerd Star Trek reference to be made here, but not by me. TEC? SKO?

Really? No Gil? And yeah, the Star Trek joke would be that he finds himself in a lot of unwinnable situations.

He was a great consigliere for Keyser Soze.

...or the name on the bottom of a coffee cup.

[Yeti]

I mean, because of course Hawk is included in here: http://deadspin.com/brian-kenny-loses-his-shit-on-hawk-harrelson-472678674

[Saul Goodman]

From the sound of the call on this highlight, you'd think the Cubs were the reigning World Series champions and winners of 18 straight to start the season. 

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

From the sound of the call on this highlight, you'd think the Cubs were the reigning World Series champions and winners of 18 straight to start the season. 

tHom needs to see a shrink.  He's got some serious issues with the Cubs.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

DPD.  I really wanted Keith Moreland to be good.  He was one of my favorite players on the '84 Cubs and Santo set the bar so low in the booth I was looking forward to Zonk, but I can't take it anymore.  He's totally unlistenable and somehow seems to be getting worse.

[Slaky]

DPD.  I really wanted Keith Moreland to be good.  He was one of my favorite players on the '84 Cubs and Santo set the bar so low in the booth I was looking forward to Zonk, but I can't take it anymore.  He's totally unlistenable and somehow seems to be getting worse.

I liked last night when he pronounced Sam LeCure's last name as "liqueur."

[Gilgamesh]

DPD.  I really wanted Keith Moreland to be good.  He was one of my favorite players on the '84 Cubs and Santo set the bar so low in the booth I was looking forward to Zonk, but I can't take it anymore.  He's totally unlistenable and somehow seems to be getting worse.

I'm wondering if it's a byproduct of watching shitty baseball.