Totally Unlistenable

[Gilgamesh]

Don Cooper everytime he is on the scoreWSOX. He sounds like a delusional drunk everytime he is on there. I'm sure it's because he is.

Fix'd.

[Saul Goodman]

Whoever the MLB.com play-by-play guy is during Len's steamer frame must be a Brewers fan, because all he's talked about is the Brewers this inning.  First Ryan Braun and how totes awesome he is, and then John Axford letting fans pick his entrance music.  As a Cubs fan, this is information I want to hear.  Nay, this is information I need.

[Saul Goodman]

DPD. Ticket sales must be really weak.

Thanks for entering!

Thank you for your submission to become the next Public Address Announcer for the Chicago Cubs! We were thrilled to have so many phenomenal and passionate auditions. Your creativity and enthusiasm made our job incredibly rewarding. We are truly fortunate to have so many great fans (and great voices).

As you might imagine, it has been extremely difficult to narrow down the field to 25 candidates. While you are not one of the finalists, we would still like to see you at the Friendly Confines. As a gesture of our appreciation, we would like to extend an offer to enjoy beautiful Wrigley Field.

Please be on the lookout for an email in the coming days inviting you to a game on us as well as a great ticket offer to enjoy games in the Bud Light Bleachers for $10.

Again, thank you for your submission. Your passion truly inspires us.

The Chicago Cubs

Did you get in, Pex?

[Internet Apex]

DPD. Ticket sales must be really weak.

Thanks for entering!

Thank you for your submission to become the next Public Address Announcer for the Chicago Cubs! We were thrilled to have so many phenomenal and passionate auditions. Your creativity and enthusiasm made our job incredibly rewarding. We are truly fortunate to have so many great fans (and great voices).

As you might imagine, it has been extremely difficult to narrow down the field to 25 candidates. While you are not one of the finalists, we would still like to see you at the Friendly Confines. As a gesture of our appreciation, we would like to extend an offer to enjoy beautiful Wrigley Field.

Please be on the lookout for an email in the coming days inviting you to a game on us as well as a great ticket offer to enjoy games in the Bud Light Bleachers for $10.

Again, thank you for your submission. Your passion truly inspires us.

The Chicago Cubs

Did you get in, Pex?

No, and I didn't receive any email like the one above either. Wait... yeah, I did get one of these. Cool.

[CBStew]

DPD. Ticket sales must be really weak.

Thanks for entering!

Thank you for your submission to become the next Public Address Announcer for the Chicago Cubs! We were thrilled to have so many phenomenal and passionate auditions. Your creativity and enthusiasm made our job incredibly rewarding. We are truly fortunate to have so many great fans (and great voices).

As you might imagine, it has been extremely difficult to narrow down the field to 25 candidates. While you are not one of the finalists, we would still like to see you at the Friendly Confines. As a gesture of our appreciation, we would like to extend an offer to enjoy beautiful Wrigley Field.

Please be on the lookout for an email in the coming days inviting you to a game on us as well as a great ticket offer to enjoy games in the Bud Light Bleachers for $10.

Again, thank you for your submission. Your passion truly inspires us.

The Chicago Cubs

Did you get in, Pex?

If I'da known I'da applied. I don't see what that Piper guy does that I can't do.  Just sit there with that little megaphone thingy and call out the players' names every so often.  An' I got a white suit to wear, to boot!

[Brownie]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

[PenPho]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

[Saul Goodman]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

[Gilgamesh]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

He sounds good to me.

I would have preferred Carmi's very own, though.  Or Pex.

[Shooter]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

He sounds good to me.

I would have preferred Carmi's very own, though.  Or Pex.

This Apex would have ruled as a PA guy:

I got hit faced and poured some out for Nate Dogg. And the !ustralian chick I was tryin ti talk to for my bud as wing man bailed rivht vthen and there. I had her up til then but that was no good it turns out. We poured it on a globe. Don't dok that...

[Internet Apex]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

He sounds good to me.

I would have preferred Carmi's very own, though.  Or Pex.

Thanks Gil. I'd be way better than that dude because I have more personality and don't sound like I have piece of POLISH SASSEDGE LADGED IN THE LINING OF MY HART!!!111!

[Yeti]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

He sounds good to me.

I would have preferred Carmi's very own, though.  Or Pex.

Thanks Gil. I'd be way better than that dude because I have more personality and don't sound like I have piece of POLISH SASSEDGE LADGED IN THE LINING OF MY HART!!!111!

For 15k I wouldn't have wanted it. But you were better than him

[Internet Apex]

If John McDonough were still around, the Cubs wouldn't spend a dime on the PA Announcer job. They'd use their 81 best applicants in one game each.

Those damn Ricketts!

Not a lot of dimes, to be sure.

Here's your winner.

He sounds good to me.

I would have preferred Carmi's very own, though.  Or Pex.

Thanks Gil. I'd be way better than that dude because I have more personality and don't sound like I have piece of POLISH SASSEDGE LADGED IN THE LINING OF MY HART!!!111!

For 15k I wouldn't have wanted it. But you were better than him

If I couldn't keep my day job I doubt I'd have taken it. And thanks.

[Internet Apex]

Bullshit. Yes I would of. *drinks breakfast*

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

He "idolized Paul Friedman as a kid"?

Though Friedman is Wayne Messmer's successor and has served since 1995, how many people honestly even knew who he was, let alone idolize him?