Totally Unlistenable

[Saul Goodman]

Watching the Rays/Yankees game tonight, just got to hear Dewayne Staats wax nostalgic for "old" stats with Brian Anderson.

Paraphrasing...

Didja see [Teixeira] is leading the league in isolated power. What does that even mean? He's isolated so nobody talks to him? That he's a loner? Everybody talks to him. He's well-liked. ... That's what I dislike about all the new stats. How they just get pushed out there with no explanation. ... I like the old stats because I sort of am one. ... Isolated power -- does that mean he's the only power?!? ... [Something even more incoherent about "new math"]

"New" stats. So complicated!

He already pre-empted any puns on his name by making his own. Veteran move.

[InternetApex]

Chris Rongey doing play-by-play on the Sox radio broadcast this afternoon makes Ron Coomer sound like Vin Scully. His pregnant pauses in the middle of plays are painful, especially in that empty ballpark where you can't even tell if it's a positive or negative play for the home team. Why do I care? I have Ubaldo Jimenez on my fake baseball team and I usually enjoy the sweet sounds of Snork getting his set on fire like a CVS store. Not as much today.

[Saul Goodman]

Hub Arkush twisting himself into verbal pretzels telling us how not homophobic he is. Hour 4 starting at 6:40 on the Boers & Bernstein podcast. Anyone hear that?

[Eli]

Hub Arkush twisting himself into verbal pretzels telling us how not homophobic he is. Hour 4 starting at 6:40 on the Boers & Bernstein podcast. Anyone hear that?

Of course not.

[Bort]

Hub Arkush twisting himself into verbal pretzels telling us how not homophobic he is. Hour 4 starting at 6:40 on the Boers & Bernstein podcast. Anyone hear that?

Of course not.

What kind of fucking idiots do you take us for, Sterling?

[Saul Goodman]

Hub Arkush twisting himself into verbal pretzels telling us how not homophobic he is. Hour 4 starting at 6:40 on the Boers & Bernstein podcast. Anyone hear that?

Of course not.

What kind of fucking idiots do you take us for, Sterling?

They don't seem to cover Chicago very much out here for some reason. I accept your scorn.

[CBStew]

Hub Arkush twisting himself into verbal pretzels telling us how not homophobic he is. Hour 4 starting at 6:40 on the Boers & Bernstein podcast. Anyone hear that?

Of course not.

What kind of fucking idiots do you take us for, Sterling?

They don't seem to cover Chicago very much out here for some reason. I accept your scorn.

Welcome to San Francisco, the hometown of homers.

[Quality Start Machine]

Chris Rongey doing play-by-play on the Sox radio broadcast this afternoon makes Ron Coomer sound like Vin Scully. His pregnant pauses in the middle of plays are painful, especially in that empty ballpark where you can't even tell if it's a positive or negative play for the home team. Why do I care? I have Ubaldo Jimenez on my fake baseball team and I usually enjoy the sweet sounds of Snork getting his set on fire like a CVS store. Not as much today.

I was thinking that there was no broadcasting crew in baseball more ill-suited to doing a game in a ballpark with no crowd noise than this one...having watched a little of it, I may have actually been right for once.

[SKO]

two complaints:

1) had to watch all three games on FSN Midwest because we don't get CSN out here, and the Cardinals announcers are the goddamn worst. Up until the Rizzo blast they derided every hit the Cubs had as Lynn being "victimized by bloop hits" and I wanted to ask if any of them even fucking saw how the Cardinals had scored 90% of their runs in the first two games of the series. Then when Molina hit that half swing bouncer off the goddamn plate that somehow went through they didn't say a fucking word. When Rizzo launched that ball into the seats their silence was delicious.

2)Had to run and pickup dinner during the 5th inning because it's always the 5th inning and Coomer went through two strikeouts by Bryant and Soler without ever giving the count for Bryant and giving it maybe once for Soler. He. Is. The. Worst.

[Slaky]

two complaints:

1) had to watch all three games on FSN Midwest because we don't get CSN out here, and the Cardinals announcers are the goddamn worst. Up until the Rizzo blast they derided every hit the Cubs had as Lynn being "victimized by bloop hits" and I wanted to ask if any of them even fucking saw how the Cardinals had scored 90% of their runs in the first two games of the series. Then when Molina hit that half swing bouncer off the goddamn plate that somehow went through they didn't say a fucking word. When Rizzo launched that ball into the seats their silence was delicious.

2)Had to run and pickup dinner during the 5th inning because it's always the 5th inning and Coomer went through two strikeouts by Bryant and Soler without ever giving the count for Bryant and giving it maybe once for Soler. He. Is. The. Worst.

Plus, at one point you went to take a piss and stumbled upon two of the hottest girls you'd ever seen chasing each other nude down the hallway.

[Yeti]

two complaints:

1) had to watch all three games on FSN Midwest because we don't get CSN out here, and the Cardinals announcers are the goddamn worst. Up until the Rizzo blast they derided every hit the Cubs had as Lynn being "victimized by bloop hits" and I wanted to ask if any of them even fucking saw how the Cardinals had scored 90% of their runs in the first two games of the series. Then when Molina hit that half swing bouncer off the goddamn plate that somehow went through they didn't say a fucking word. When Rizzo launched that ball into the seats their silence was delicious.

2)Had to run and pickup dinner during the 5th inning because it's always the 5th inning and Coomer went through two strikeouts by Bryant and Soler without ever giving the count for Bryant and giving it maybe once for Soler. He. Is. The. Worst.

Plus, at one point you went to take a piss and stumbled upon two of the hottest girls you'd ever seen chasing each other nude down the hallway.

Such a rough life

[Oleg]

two complaints:

1) had to watch all three games on FSN Midwest because we don't get CSN out here, and the Cardinals announcers are the goddamn worst. Up until the Rizzo blast they derided every hit the Cubs had as Lynn being "victimized by bloop hits" and I wanted to ask if any of them even fucking saw how the Cardinals had scored 90% of their runs in the first two games of the series. Then when Molina hit that half swing bouncer off the goddamn plate that somehow went through they didn't say a fucking word. When Rizzo launched that ball into the seats their silence was delicious.

2)Had to run and pickup dinner during the 5th inning because it's always the 5th inning and Coomer went through two strikeouts by Bryant and Soler without ever giving the count for Bryant and giving it maybe once for Soler. He. Is. The. Worst.

Plus, at one point you went to take a piss and stumbled upon two of the hottest girls you'd ever seen chasing each other nude down the hallway.

And he couldn't even look at them!

[Powdered Toast Man]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

[Yeti]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible