Totally Unlistenable

[CBStew]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

[CBStew]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provided-- can't even be bothered to do that.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provide-- can't even be bothered to do that.

[ChuckD]

Some baby llama drama up in here.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provided-- can't even be bothered to do that.

Just for the record, I can't stand Coomer's play by play when he takes over for Pat. When Pat is calling the game, however, I don't mind Coomer at all. He's just there...being a former player who generalizes everything and offers nothing real of substance. That's sort of what I expect. But man, when Coomer takes over for Pat for a few innings, it's death to all baseball radio.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provided-- can't even be bothered to do that.

Just for the record, I can't stand Coomer's play by play when he takes over for Pat. When Pat is calling the game, however, I don't mind Coomer at all. He's just there...being a former player who generalizes everything and offers nothing real of substance. That's sort of what I expect. But man, when Coomer takes over for Pat for a few innings, it's death to all baseball radio.

Let me just say that as someone who grew up listening to Lou Boudreau and, yes, Steve Stone, I find it sad that your standard for a color guy is a platitudinal-dispensing mascot.

[Quality Start Machine]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provided-- can't even be bothered to do that.

Just for the record, I can't stand Coomer's play by play when he takes over for Pat. When Pat is calling the game, however, I don't mind Coomer at all. He's just there...being a former player who generalizes everything and offers nothing real of substance. That's sort of what I expect. But man, when Coomer takes over for Pat for a few innings, it's death to all baseball radio.

Let me just say that as someone who grew up listening to Lou Boudreau and, yes, Steve Stone, I find it sad that your standard for a color guy is a platitudinal-dispensing mascot.

The two longest-running radio color guys (for the times there have been one) are Boudreau and Ron Santo. The good ones go to TV, and the verbose ones go to radio.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Is this the Firebarn Ron Coomer thread? Dear Lord that was a terrible couple innings.

His vacuously paint-by-numbers shtick is infuriating.  He brings nothing, NOTHING, to the broadcast.

Cubs Radio Color Guys Named Ron: Terrible

If Ron Santo had not been the Cubs' best third baseman since some guy named Hack, but just some guy who the Cubs hired at random to be on the radio, you would be undeniably right.  But he was the Ron Santo who brought years of sunlight to some grim periods of Cub baseball.  He loved the Cubs more than any of us and you could hear the misery in his voice.  For that reason he deserves a pass, not the label of terrible.  (My last rant for the day.)

While I am at it, objectively, no one was worse at broadcasting than Dizzy Dean, yet I could listen to him all day.

It's funny you mention that, Stew, because in stewing over my COOMER RAGE it occurred to me, having heard snippets of Dean and understanding his style, is that that's the shtick Coomer's going for.  This sort of anti-intellectual folksiness that he seems to utilize to protect himself inside of his stupid fucking awkward giggle is contrived, because he's a regular middle-class kid from Lockport.  So when Coomer uses the word "them" in place "these" or "those" ("Yeah, Pat, he's one of them players who can go from first to third in no time") it sounds to me like he's going out of his way to dumb shit down (and makes me want to strangle baby llamas).  Say what you want about Santo--and gord knows I've said some of the cruelest, meanest shit about the guy as  broadcaster-- but as willing as he was to play the buffoon, he at least didn't come off as some lazy dumbass when he was simply trying to speak words.  Coomer--in addition to the same meaningless analysis that Santo (and many other ex-jocks) provided-- can't even be bothered to do that.

Just for the record, I can't stand Coomer's play by play when he takes over for Pat. When Pat is calling the game, however, I don't mind Coomer at all. He's just there...being a former player who generalizes everything and offers nothing real of substance. That's sort of what I expect. But man, when Coomer takes over for Pat for a few innings, it's death to all baseball radio.

Let me just say that as someone who grew up listening to Lou Boudreau and, yes, Steve Stone, I find it sad that your standard for a color guy is a platitudinal-dispensing mascot.

I'm sorry too.

Coomer just called Starlin Castro "Starling Castillo". I mean come on.

[Saul Goodman]

tHommm Brennaman slobbering all over some firefighters like they're Tim Tebow. There's nothing this overdramatic asshat won't pathetically pander to.

http://m.reds.mlb.com/news/article/124612680/brandon-belt-madison-bumgarner-power-giants-past-reds

[Brownie]

It looks like Boers and Bernstein might get pre-empted a lot for Pat and somebody hopefully not named Ron Coomer next year.

Sox to WLS and Cubs to the Score.

[Chuck to Chuck]

It looks like Boers and Bernstein might get pre-empted a lot for Pat and somebody hopefully not named Ron Coomer next year.

Sox to WLS and Cubs to the Score.

Cubs 1:20 games down to only 25 times per year this year. Still leaves at least 175 days of misogyny and rambling hair jokes.

[Saul Goodman]

It looks like Boers and Bernstein might get pre-empted a lot for Pat and somebody hopefully not named Ron Coomer next year.

Sox to WLS and Cubs to the Score.

So now even fewer people will listen to WLS. *rimshot*

And please oh please get Ron out of there. Just hand Kerry Wood a mic and get it over with already.

[InternetApex]

It looks like Boers and Bernstein might get pre-empted a lot for Pat and somebody hopefully not named Ron Coomer next year.

Sox to WLS and Cubs to the Score.

Cubs 1:20 games down to only 25 times per year this year. Still leaves at least 175 days of misogyny and rambling hair jokes.

Chuck doesn't like misogyny or bad jokes, you guys. I'll let Kristina Hendricks' people know she's off the hook.

[Yeti]

It looks like Boers and Bernstein might get pre-empted a lot for Pat and somebody hopefully not named Ron Coomer next year.

Sox to WLS and Cubs to the Score.

Cubs 1:20 games down to only 25 times per year this year. Still leaves at least 175 days of misogyny and rambling hair jokes.

Chuck doesn't like misogyny or bad jokes, you guys. I'll let Kristina Hendricks' people know she's off the hook.

I'll do the same for Christina Hendricks' people